Underneath the Smile
by caitlives
Summary: She had the perfect family, the perfect life, and then one day, one second changed everything. She put up her facade to the world, while secretly fighting back the tears. Not anymore, Brooke pulled back the mask. Now it was up to her to continue the fight
1. Chapter 1

**I have really enjoyed watching Brooke's character reveal that she is more than a party-loving girl - and there is a girl hiding her pain, underneath her smile. The story is written primarily in Brooke's perspective. I have written several chapters already, but my final ideas are not concrete. And the relationships are not permanent either, as you will see Peyton is not even in the story - well at least not yet. Please let me know what you think. Peace.**

She was beautiful. She was successful. She was empty. Brooke Davis had been in love and out, but the love of the one person she most wanted was ungraspable. She worked her entire life for just some sign of affection and it took a major clothing line to gander some attention. Her parents had always been absent in her life, and she always said that she was surviving just fine. But for years as she lied to her friends, she lied to herself as well. With the reemergence of a parental role in her life, Brooke believed that her mother might possible love her. And she was willing to take that chance just to experience one ounce of love. For it would be one more ounce than she ever received before.

"You have a meeting at 10, lunch with Michael Vincent at one, and dinner at 7:30 before the premiere."

"Thank you, Millicent." Brooke responded to her assistant without her normal forced cheer.

"I can cancel any of them if you want me to, Brooke," noting Brooke's missing smile.

"We can't stop the show, Millie, it must go on, that is what Victoria always says."

"Brooke," Millicent was trying to start, but she was quickly stopped by Brooke's hand.

"The show must go on, I will see you at the meeting," Brooke said as she watched Millicent walk out of her office, and then sat down in her chair. She put her hands on her forehead and let out a huge sigh, but it wasn't of relief, it was to ensure that she was still breathing. She was, but she was just barely hanging on.

The last several months had taken a toll on her, and this was her biggest downfall, and she didn't know if she was going to be able to make it back up.

All of Brooke's fears had come true once high school ended. All of her friends took their successes and moved on and she was left alone to her own vices. Peyton went to California. Lucas went to coach college basketball and Haley and Nathan followed with their newborn in tote. Brooke decided to follow her own dreams and ended up in New York one day, she had nothing to come home to, so she just stayed. No one was calling her back. Tree Hill simply became a place on the map; it was no longer her home. Nearly five years has past since they all separated their ways, and some days Brooke just wondered if they ever missed her, because she sure as hell missed them. What she didn't realize was that her friends didn't find a perfect little life for themselves either. There were high points but there were lows that brought them back to reality. No one is destined to have the perfect life, and it didn't take fame to show them. But maybe home was the place that none of it mattered. Maybe home is what Brooke needed.

Brooke quickly got up from her desk, opened her door, and called out to Millicent.

"Brooke, what is it? What is the matter?" Millicent asked as she ran back in Brooke's office, concerned for her – it was a newly recurrence in the day.

"Nothing, nothing, I just needed to change some of my plans," Brooke said sitting down.

The weight of success had taken a toll on the designer.

"When do you need to change them?"

"Now. I need you to cancel everything for today, and I need a flight to Tree Hill, North Carolina."

"Is everything okay, Brooke?"

"Millie, I am fine, I just really need to get away," Millicent was a sweet girl, always trying to ensure that Brooke was alright. Sometimes Brooke had to laugh at the girl's naivety and her honest concern for her. She had to admit it though, it was nice, Millicent was the only one that ever did – well at least in a long while.

"Have you told Victoria?"

"Victoria doesn't need to know about this, this is between you and me. You have got to promise me this."

"I think that a trip home is what you need right now. I will cover for as long as you need me to, Brooke."

**AN: I know this chapter is extremely short, the next chapters will be longer, I just felt this chapter needed to stand alone. Peace.**


	2. Chapter 2

**As promised, much longer. This is an introduction to the life that was continuing while Brooke was away. Peace.**

Since everyone went their separate ways, Brooke assumed all of their dreams had come true. There had to be a reason why they never kept in contact with her. Unfortunately, the dreams faded and reality hit them hard, and reality hurt.

Five hours later Brooke stepped foot in the airport in Tree Hill, North Carolina. She never knew she was going to be gone for that long, but it felt good to be stepping on some solid ground. At the moment she didn't know what the future held for her, but she was looking for some stability, that is all she ever wanted. She was pleased that Millicent had gotten her a decent rental car and everything was set up for her already. Of all the things that her mother had told her to do, she was sure glad that she hadn't listened when Victoria wanted her to fire Millie.

Just to be on the same streets again, Brooke felt at home. She passed her old high school and Karen's café, which had been closed to her dismay. As she kept riding through town she wasn't sure where she was actually going. Since she hadn't spoken with anyone in over four years she didn't even know who was in Tree Hill. Out of her own control she was led to the place that held her heart for a long time, a place where the door was once painted red, a place that was a home for more then simply her heart. When high school ended Lucas was with Peyton, and Brooke had come to a point where she had given up on her true first love. At the moment her heart wasn't pulling her to Lucas' for a chance at renewing an old flame. Her heart just wanted to be home again.

She parked her car on the street, and began the familiar trek. So often in the past she just walked in the door, but there was this unfortunate sense that maybe she didn't belong anymore. So as a stranger would do, she knocked on the door.

No one was coming she decided, so she turned away. She wasn't sure where she was going to go now, but a force turned her back around. The door opened, and she was shocked. It wasn't Lucas. "Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry, I have been gone for awhile, he must have moved," Brooke almost stuttered out, because she was dazed.

"Who were you looking for?" the girl asked.

"Lucas Scott, I am really sorry to have bothered you," she turned to leave.

"Luke still lives here. Hi, I'm Lindsey, Lucas' fiancé," so many thoughts ran through Brooke's head, like what had happened to Peyton, and what else had she missed?

Brooke extended her own hand to Lindsey's, "Brooke Davis."

"Clothes over Bro's Brooke Davis," Lindsey was obvious awestruck.

"Or Tree Hill's former."

"Do you want to come in? Luke should be home soon."

Brooke didn't know what to do, she didn't want to be rude, but she was still taken aback with the new information. A friendship that was as epic as Peyton's and hers should not have dissolved after high school. All she wanted to do was to call her, to hug her, to hold on and never let go. She wanted her childhood back.

"Sure, thank you," Brooke said following Lindsey into Luke's bedroom.

"Not many people come in this entrance, which is why I didn't answer right away."

"Oh, I am sorry, this is the only way I ever came in," she said looking around, seeing all of the changes made since she had been in there last. It was true though, he was no longer a teenager, his room must fit the person he was now. And who was he now?

"You must have gone to high school with Luke," Brooke almost chocked in shock, their relationship was more then simply classmates. Or that is what she thought. "That is the way Haley comes in too."

"Haley," Brooke let out without even realizing it.

"Yes, Haley, you know her too?"

"Yup, I am actually Jamie's godmother."

"Oh, oh, I am so sorry, you are Brooke, the Brooke, the Brooke Davis," a little color returned to Brooke, she was not as forgotten as she had thought.

"Am I infamous around here? Tell me all you know," Brooke tried to joke; it was her only attempt left.

"I want to apologize, I was stunned when I realized who you were, please don't think you have a bad rap around here. You haven't been around since I have come to Tree Hill, so I don't know that much about you. Lucas and Haley have both shared numerous memories – all good, I promise," Lindsey tried to reassure her, but it was evident that Brooke felt neglected.

"It has been a while since I have been home, I know I should have come back sooner, but my life just kind of took off, and I forgot to come down."

"I completely understand," she was going to continue when they both heard the door open, "Lucas, we are in here."

"We?" Lucas said walking into the room where the girls were. He would have never have guessed who was sitting with his fiancé if he had a million chances. Lucas wouldn't completely fault Brooke with losing touch, he didn't reach out either. But it has been four years without a word, Brooke could have died and Lucas wouldn't have known. "Brooke," he said. Though they hadn't seen each other in such a long time, she always would hold a place in his heart, he was his first love, and you never forget that one. He stared at her a little, she was beautiful as always, but he could see past her makeup, apparently happiness did not come with fame. Those eyes failed the pretty girl.

Brooke stood up, unsure of what to do. She knew why she came here, but at the moment she was hesitant if it was the right choice. Lucas looked good, not in an 'I want to make out with you' way, but he aged well. "Lucas," was all she could get out, all of her emotions would fail her if she tried to say more.

Lucas was the one to make the first move, and embraced his former love. To Brooke he felt safe, and the scary world she was living in never gave her this reassurance. He noticed that she was more slender than normal; maybe the fame also took a toll on her health. They let go of their embrace, "Lindsey, this is Brooke, we dated in high school."

That introduction was not one that she thought would fare well with the fiancé, but she was wrong. Lindsey didn't seem to flinch or feel threatened; the love of the two must be secure. The reappearance of an ex-girlfriend never seemed to work out before. But Lucas looked happy, and that is all that Brooke ever wanted for her friends. They were the only family she ever knew, even though she seemed to have lost them along the way.

"Brooke, you never told me what you were doing here," Lindsey spoke up.

Brooke brought herself back to reality; she was caught up in Lucas' presence. She was also startled with the question being presented to her, because in all honesty she didn't know the right answer. "I just needed to come back home, I guess," it was the only answer she could conger up. And it seemed to do the job.

"Well, Brooke, I certainly want to catch up, but tonight happens to be my night with Jamie," with the sound of the little boy's name, she felt sorrow, she was his godmother, and she had yet to spend significant time with him. Haley and Nathan made a bad decision electing her.

"How is he?" Brooke genuinely wanted to know everything.

Lucas face changed slightly, and Brooke picked up on it. Jamie's background story was more in depth than a couple of words. "He's five years old; he loves basketball, and the cutest kid you will ever see. Oh and he definitely gets his good looks from yours truly," Luke's smile was slightly feigned. Jamie's life hadn't been the brightest in the past year, so Lucas felt it was his obligation to lend a hand. "You know what though; he would probably like to meet his godmother."

"Oh, Luke, I couldn't intrude on your night," Brooke said hoping that her attempt at being nice would suffice.

"You must go, Brooke," Lindsey started, "that offer does not come around very often, it is a pretty exclusive club," she ended with a smile.

"I would really like to meet him," she responded with a sad smile. There were so many other things that she wished would happen. But this was the first one. And it was the first smile she experienced in months, no matter how sad it was.

"Well, then, Linds, I will see you later tonight," he gave her a kiss, and led Brooke out to his car. He opened the door for her, the gentleman he was. They drove in silence; neither was sure what to say to the other. Luckily for both of them the drive was short. Lucas ended up in front of an extremely nice house. Nathan must have made it big, Brooke thought to herself. She was glad that her friend had found success.

"Way to go, Nate," she said aloud, but when she looked at Lucas for the details, his face again sunk. "Lucas, I can read your face, is there something I should know?"

"Brooke, Nathan got his life back on track after high school, and his NBA dreams were becoming reality. But one night, changed everything for him."

"Is he okay, Lucas?"

"It depends who you ask. He is alive, and I think that is pretty damn important. He cannot play basketball anymore, and he thinks his life is over. One of the reasons I have this night, is to get Jamie away from it all. Nathan hasn't been a very good husband or father in a while."

Brooke felt guilty all over again, "I should have come home sooner, Luke," she looked into his eyes, and he did not return a look of guilt. They never called her, how was she to know.

"You are home now," he said as he led her towards the house.

They walked right in, something she wished she felt comfortable enough doing at Lucas'. She was all of sudden nervous again, she had no idea what to expect. "Where is my main man, J. Luke?" Lucas called out to his nephew.

"Right here, Uncle Lucas," Jamie said running towards his uncle's opening arms. When Lucas put him down, he looked over at Brooke. If he was a man in the club, Brooke might have slapped him, but he was a little curious boy. "Who is the pretty girl, Uncle Lucas," Jamie asked trying to whisper to Luke.

"Well, Jamie Scott, I want to introduce you to a very special person, this here," he said pointing up at Brooke, "is your godmother…"

Before Lucas could say her name, Haley walked over, "Brooke," she said looking Brooke over as well. "Brooke," she said again, and tried to compose herself, "Jamie, this is your godmother, Brooke, do you remember me telling you about her?"

"You make boy's clothing," Jamie told them, causing them all to laugh.

"Very close, I am a designer, and most importantly I am your godmother."

"Where have you been all my life?" The question caught everyone off guard, and it literally broke Brooke's heart.

"Some place I shouldn't have been. I hope that you let me make up for it."

"Will you buy me ice cream?" The little boy's face lit up, and Brooke felt better about being away.

"Brooke is buying me ice cream tonight too, she is coming with us, is that okay?"

"Can Momma come too?"

Everyone attention averted to Haley. Brooke hadn't noticed it until now, but Haley was timid, she almost appeared fearful. What had happened to cause her former jubilant friend to hold so much pain in her eyes? She almost felt she was looking into a mirror. "Oh, Honey, you know that this is your night with your Uncle Lucas."

"But Brooke is coming, Momma."

"C'mon, Haley, I am buying," Brooke tried.

"I really can't, you guys, I have to stay here…"

"To babysit me, no one wants me to escape or do any harm to myself," Nathan came in with a cane to help him walk. "Look who it is, the most famous person to ever emerge from Tree Hill."

The tension rose so high in the room, that Lucas butted in, before Jamie would be completely scared for life, "Hey, buddy, how about you go get your cape, and we will go get some ice cream."

Brooke looked over at Haley, and her demeanor sunk further, had Nathan damaged her friend. "Hi, Nate, how are you doing," she soon realized this was definitely the wrong question to ask him.

"Oh, just great, I mean I have an amazing career, my own shoe contract, a 2009 convertible, and wait, everything is gone," he had so much anger it scared Brooke, she backed up from his presence because it was overwhelming.

"Nathan, she didn't know," she put a hand on his chest because it was evident that Brooke was taken aback, "just go back and I will have dinner ready in a few minutes," Haley tried to take control of the situation, but Nathan's harshness won over.

He grabbed Haley's hand, and pushed it off of him, "I am not hungry. You go out and have some damn ice cream, I don't need you to babysit me," as he stormed off.

Haley tried to compose herself, this was a normal occurrence, but she didn't want to bring more attention to herself. She looked at Luke, and avoided Brooke's eye contact. Lucas was not surprised by Nathan's reaction, but this version of Nathan was brand new to Brooke. "Luke, do you think that Jamie can stay over tonight?"

"Hales, let me talk to him, I don't want to leave you when he is like this."

She put her hand on Lucas' chest as she did with Nathan, "Go take my son and get some ice cream," she tried to give him a little shove.

"Okay, Hales," he embraced her, "I will bring him to school tomorrow," he kissed her on the forehead, "I love you."

As Haley tore away from Lucas, she turned to Brooke, she hadn't really said more then a word to her, and this was her first impression of her new life. Not really a good sign. "I'm really sorry about that, he has been drinking and he just…"

Brooke put a hand up to stop her, "I am sorry I haven't been here," she took a hold of her old friend. Haley was trembling, Brooke noticed, but she didn't know what to say. There was nothing she could say.

Haley wanted to hold on to Brooke, she wanted to hold onto something. She knew that it was best that everyone else left the house, but she was afraid to be left alone. Though she knew what to expect, the fear never went away. "No more than two scoops," Haley indicated with two fingers, "wait, a second, he is yours tonight, Luke, as many as he wants," she tried a smile.

Jamie came running down in his adorable cape, "Bye, Momma," he said jumping into her arms, "I love you."

"I love you too, baby boy, I love you so much," he let go, and Haley saw them out.

"Shouldn't Jamie grab some pajamas," Brooke pondered.

"I'm staying with you tonight, Uncle Lucas," a new smile emerged on the boy's face.

Lucas looked at Brooke to answer her question, "He has a plenty at my house, don't worry." This means that this happens a lot. Why hadn't she been around to watch this little boy grow up, and been there when her friends needed her the most? It all seemed normal to them too, how could any of this be normal? Haley was scared. Nathan was changed. And a little boy stuck in the middle of it all.


	3. Chapter 3

The trio drove past the former residence of Karen's café, and Brooke had to ask, "How long has the café been closed, Luke?"

Lucas looked up from the road and turned to Brooke, "After Lily was born, Ma just wanted to get away from it all for awhile. She said she couldn't live in the same town that her daughter's father was killed in."

With that statement Brooke turned around to check on Jamie, but the young boy had fallen asleep only minutes from his own house. A small smile emerged from Brooke face, she had just met the boy but she was sure she could love him forever. Brooke turned her attention back towards Lucas, but she saw that he was looking in the rearview mirror to check on Jamie as well. "Wouldn't it be nice to be five again?"

The answer was two-folded. The innocence of a child was a world of wonder. If it could just be so easy to live without a care and see everything as pure, then a life long travel as a child would be well worth it. However, the five year old in the back seat's life was not without care, and too young was he thrown into the harshness that encased it. There was hesitance before Lucas answered, "Yeah."

"That didn't seem really reassuring, Luke."

"In actuality I would not like to be five again. It was the first time that I learned about Dan. It was my first recreational game, and all of the kids realized that Nathan and I had the same last name. I went home and told my mom about Nate, and she told me about Dan. And look what kind of hell he has invoked in my life every since. I really don't want to go back to five."

"I'm sorry," silenced Brooke. She felt as if she was on egg shells around him, she didn't know what to say. The wrong thing at the Scott's residence ended in an irate Nathan.

Lucas didn't intend for Brooke to feel bad about her comment. There was so much that she didn't know. So much had changed in the last four years, and it wasn't fair to penalize her for not being around. They continued their lives and they had neglected to remember about Brooke, it wouldn't be fair to assume that she had forgotten about them. "You don't need to apologize, Brooke. The innocence perspective a child has on the world is a beautiful thing, and yes, a typical five year old's life would be great to trade place with some day. But my five year old version of myself wasn't the greatest, and neither is the one in the backseat."

"Is Jamie okay?"

Lucas noticed Brooke concern encased in her question. He smiled to himself; Brooke is going to be a wonderful ally to the young boy. Then another thought entered his mind: how long was she going to be home? Before his answer could be asked, he had to answer Brooke's question. "Physically, he is as healthy as they come. And he was raised pretty damn well, he is intelligent beyond his years, he is polite, and he has high aspirations."

"Where does the but come in, Luke?"

"Right here. But Nathan's accident has taken a toll on the family, and it has really affected Jamie. This version of Nathan is not one that suits a five year old very well. He is hostile, he is rude, and he is not a father to a boy that really needs one. It is too much, and he doesn't understand how his father can go from so loving, to so distant. Nathan won't even tell Jamie that he loves him anymore. You need to hear that everyday." Brooke thought to herself how true that statement was, but how absent it was in her own life growing up. "I think that Jamie has become afraid of him. When Nathan gets angry – and this is a lot – sometimes he yells at him, and he has thrown things. One time it almost hit him. Since then Haley doesn't let Jamie out of her sight, or anywhere near Nathan without her. He is such a great kid; he should not be living in such an unsafe environment or constant fear."

It was too much for Brooke to take in. Here she was hours earlier feeling awful about herself, when there was a little boy more deserving of her tears. How was she to react after this? There was nothing that she could say that would make things better or easy the pain. "I should have been here," it was all she could manage, she felt guilty for living her life successfully when the people that meant the most to her where back in Tree Hill mourning their former lives. She thought that the reason they lost contact was because they were off pursuing their dreams, in retrospect they were living in their own nightmares.

"Brooke, please don't feel guilty for any of this. We are trying to figure it all out. Jamie has a good support system. All of the River Court boys are pseudo uncles to him; Skillz especially is incredible with Jamie. Nathan's accident was one wrong move, you could have never prevented it, no one could. So we are doing what we can to adjust the change in the ultimate path."

"Ice cream!" Jamie screamed before the duo had a chance to add to their conversation. The one thing that mattered more than the future right now was a five year old boy in the back seat of the car. They couldn't stay fixated on his future without dealing with the present. And this present was filled with ice cream. "Uncle Lucas, how many scoops can I have?" A smile beaming on the sandy blonde haired boy's face, as Lucas helped him out of his car seat.

"Well, I hate to break it to you little man, but your mom said only one," holding up one finger. Lucas noticed the change in the boy's smile, and couldn't deal with it any longer, "for her, and as many as Brooke is willing to buy for you!" He said tickling the now happy boy.

Jamie looked up to Brooke, "Can I have one hundred scoops?"

All she wanted was to see the little boy smile; it gave her a little hope. In the face of despair he could still smile, it was something she wished was easy to do. "Of course you can."

"I think I am going to like having you around," Jamie said grabbing Brooke's hand in addition to Lucas'.

This was a good preface for Lucas' earlier wonderment, "Jamie, I don't think that Brooke is going to be here that long, Buddy." He didn't want to set the boy up for disappointment, there was just too much of it in his life. Jamie faced dropped slightly from the ice cream high he was experiencing.

She didn't know where the words came from, but without her knowledge, these words slipped out, "Actually, Jamie, your Uncle Lucas is wrong."

"He is?"

"Yup. I have missed five years of your life already. Is it alright if I stick around for the next five?"

"Will you buy me ice cream whenever I want it?"

"As long as your mom says it is okay."

"Then you can stay forever!"

The trio smiled, and Lucas was a little relieved. He had to admit that he missed Brooke, and not in an 'I want to reunite with my first love' way, but he missed his friend. He missed the great woman she had become. He wanted to know her better. Brooke would also be a much needed addition to the mix, Jamie already took to her, and Haley could sure use an accessible female friend. As much as he feared for Jamie's well being in the environment he was newly placed in, some days he worried about Haley. She was so concerned about Jamie being away from it all as much as possible; that often he worried that she needed it as well. Lucas wasn't oblivious to it all, but Jamie seemed to be everyone's priority in it all.

"Can we please get some ice creammmm," Jamie droned.

Lucas opened the door while Jamie and Brooke walked hand and hand into the ice cream parlor, "How many scoops did you want again?" Brooke asked him.

"One hundred," he shouted in so much glee that any bystander would have imagined the boy had a picture perfect life.

"One hundred it is," Brooke said with the biggest smile she had shone in years. And it might actually be considered happiness. Maybe it wasn't just Jamie who was going to benefit from Brooke's return to Tree Hill; maybe this is exactly what Brooke needed to heal the broken girl she had become.

Jamie didn't quite make it to one hundred, more like three and a half, "That is a lot of ice cream," he declared.

"No my friend, that is a lot of soup," Lucas told him putting his spoon into it. He couldn't believe that Brooke actually bought one hundred scoops. She actually smiled as she paid. Her success must have been on a large scale, she just paid $250 for ice cream soup. He knew her though, why should this surprise him, Jamie's happiness was entirely more important than dollars. He really missed his friend.

"I think one hundred was too much," Jamie told looking at Brooke.

"Maybe it was," she smiled at him as she wiped the chocolate off of his face, "next time we will get 99." This caused Jamie is giggle, and his laugh was infectious. Whoever said laughter was the best medicine might have gotten their facts straight. At least for an hour, and sometimes that is all it took to change the course. Nathan knew it too well. But Brooke's path was stepping towards a brighter course.

An hour later the little boy was passed out on Brooke's lap – apparently he suffered from an ice cream coma. Lucas looked at his watch, "It is getting late, and I need to get him home." He gently placed Jamie in his arms and Brooke followed him to the car. She opened the door, and Lucas put Jamie in his seat. "Brooke, where are you staying tonight?" Lucas asked once they began driving towards his house.

It was her first care in a few hours, but the truth was she didn't have any intentions. "Umm, I was going to go and try and find a hotel or something."

"Brooke Davis, I know that it has been awhile, but you know this small little town of Tree Hill does not have a hotel or something," he added using her own words.

"I will find something."

"No need, you can stay at my place."

"What about Lindsey?"

"What about her? You aren't planning on sleeping in my bed or anything are you? Because if you aren't there isn't going to be a problem." Brooke really hoped that Lindsey was as great as she was showing right now, because Lucas needed a good girl, and he needed to be loved. "Brooke, it is late, and we have plenty of room. You might have to sleep on the couch since Jamie is here, but I bet he would love to see you in the morning."

She could fight with him as long as she wanted, but she knew it would end up with her staying with him regardless, so she gave up the fight. "Thank you, Lucas. I really appreciate it. I will find some place tomorrow, so I won't intrude too long," she had to put it in there.

"You can stay as long as you need. I mean permanent residency might not fare well when Lindsey and I get married, but until you get on your feet, you are welcome."

"Lucas, I mean it, thank you."

"Hey, if it means you are staying in Tree Hill, I am definitely going to lend a couch to you," this statement meant a lot to Brooke. The rollercoaster on her life had taken a toll on her, but the second she stepped foot in Tree Hill, the ride calmed down – at least a little bit.


	4. Chapter 4

As far as Brooke knew it, Lindsey was as great as she appeared. Brooke knew that if a former love was sleeping on her boyfriend's couch, it would not fare well, but it didn't seem to faze Lindsey. The couch wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep in the world, but in actuality she would take it over her bed in her lonely apartment any day of the week – especially if those days include Jamie Scott. How she could love someone so quickly was beyond her. Brooke was surprised to find Jamie staring at her as she opened her eyes. "What time is it little man?" She asked groggily.

"I may be smart, but I do not know how to tell time," he informed her.

She gave him a smile, and looked at her phone, it was only six o'clock. Do all children get up this early? This was definitely something that she was going to have to get used to. "Isn't it a little early to be up?"

"I don't think so; I told you I don't know how to tell time."

Brooke realized that the boy probably got plenty of sleep. Her bedtime was hours after Jamie passed out in the ice cream parlor. Lucas, Lindsey, and she had stayed up reminiscing about high school. It wasn't the time to catch up on every aspect of their lives when they were apart. There would be another time to do this, last night was about returning to better times. "Are you sure you still want to marry him?" Brooke had asked Lindsey after they had finished the last of the tales.

"Well is the sun up yet?"

"It is still dark out."

"That means you didn't sleep long enough, just for further references," sitting up.

"Oh. I can't go back to sleep now though, I miss my momma."

"So do I, Buddy."

"Do you think that we can go see her before I go to school?"

This question caught her off guard. She didn't know the proper answer to it. All she knew was what this little boy wanted and she really want to give him everything he wanted. "I think she would like that, can you go get dressed, and then we can go."

Jamie ran out of there before she had a chance to change her mind. She guessed it was time to get up; she looked around to find her jacket, and try to unwrinkle her outfit. Brooke had fallen asleep in her clothes. Normally this only happened when she was drunk, last night was just due to pure exhaustion, and the fact she hadn't had a chance to get her bag from her rental car. She went into the kitchen and found a sticky note: Hey Guys – Jamie wanted to see Haley, I took him to see her. I hope that is okay. Love, Brooke. She looked down and crossed out the love, she didn't know if it was appropriate.

Here goes nothing she said as Jamie and she piled into her rental car. It occurred to her that she did not have one of those booster seats that Lucas had. "Sit on these," she said pulling magazines from her bag.

"What for?"

"Isn't the car seat so you are off the seat?"

"I think it is to protect me, I don't think magazines will do that."

"Well, I don't have a seat for you buddy, it is the magazine seat or none."

"Okay, I can't wait to tell Momma."

"Maybe this is something we save for after school, when Brooke is gone, and your momma doesn't get mad at me."

"She only gets mad at Daddy."

Brooke remembered what Lucas had said the day earlier, but when it was coming from Jamie's lips it seemed as if it was devastating truth. "Does she get mad a lot?"

"Only when he throws things or yells too loud or drinks too much," he thought about it, "I think it is a lot."

"Does your daddy ever yell at your mom?"

"That is all he does," a five year old shouldn't see this, or hear it.

"I am sorry, Jamie. I know that your daddy loves you. Don't you know that?"

"Momma loves me, Uncle Lucas loves me," but he didn't say Nathan.

"You can add one more to list, me," she said looking back at the boy, "okay, I think your momma is going to be happy to see you," she said changing the subject.

The newly former pair made it to the door hand and hand, "Can I ring the doorbell?"

Brooke didn't see why not, but she soon regretted it when she heard screaming inside the house. Loud noises did not suit a hangover, and Brooke was certain Nathan was not happy to be awoken to Jamie's excessive ringing. Haley quickly opened the door, "Momma," Jamie squealed jumping into Haley's arms. He wasn't able to see his mother's pain stricken face, but Brooke saw it and she couldn't take her eyes off of Haley. She was damaged.

"What are you doing here?" Haley questioned, taken completely off guard by the pair at her doorstep. Everyone knew not to come in the morning, especially with the little boy. The mornings were sometimes as bad as the nights, especially after Nathan had drunk himself into a stupor. She did not want her little boy to see what she saw, and everyone knew that once Jamie was out of the house it was until the afternoon – when it was safe. Everyone knew this. Haley wasn't even dressed for the day yet, and no one saw her like this. She was completely and utterly disheveled. She looked as if she hadn't slept – which she hadn't – and the magic of makeup normal covered it up. And she was sure that the new bruise that Nathan had left on her wrist the night before was visible. It was her fault though, he wasn't finished with his beer and she tried to clean up. She should have waited until he had fallen asleep. It was her fault, but at least she would have covered it up. Everyone knew not to come in the morning; it was not a spectacle to see. Everyone knew this. Everyone except for Brooke.

Brooke too was taken off guard; she never expected to see her friend like this. She never thought it would be a problem to return a homesick little boy to his mom, but she was wrong. Bringing Jamie back to the house was the wrong decision, but in a way she was glad she did. It occurred to her now that Haley was trapped, and as important as this little boy was, her friend was in much more desperate of need. "Jamie missed his momma," Brooke informed Haley trying to look in Haley's hurt eyes, seeing this though, Haley looked away.

She was the only one would could handle this situation; she was the only one who could handle Nathan. No one else was needed, and no one else could be allowed in. "And I missed you too my baby boy," Haley said nuzzling Jamie as if nothing was wrong. For nothing was wrong, at least in Haley's eyes, or that is the façade she was going to continue pursuing.

"Haley!" The three were startled to hear, she held her son tighter as she jumped slightly as to protect him from Nathan words. But the words were meant for her, "Haley! Get your damn ass in here right now." It was Nathan, and he was not happy.

Haley reacted to the situation the best way that she could, "Hey, Jamie, did you say good morning to your Uncle Lucas this morning?" The little boy shook his head, "You know he would be heartbroken if he didn't see you before you went to school. Do you think Brooke can take you back to see him, and I will see you after school?"

The boy didn't have a chance to answer because an even angrier calling of her name summoned her, and she gently pushed the boy out the door towards Brooke, "I love you," escaped before the gates of hell were closed off so the boy would not be scared. But Haley was trapped in.

Jamie looked at Brooke, who was shocked. He gave her a hug, and Brooke lifted him up and carried him to the car. She couldn't speak or function. She wanted to keep Jamie safe, but at the same time she felt as if her friend was in desperate need. After much thought she realized that Haley would never talk to her if Jamie wasn't secured first. And after even more thinking she realized that Haley might not ever talk to her after she brought him to the Hellmount in the first place.

"Let's go back to Luke's, buddy."

"I don't think Momma was happy to see us," the frown on the little boy's face broke Brooke's already fragile heart.

"I think we woke up your daddy that is all. Not everyone likes to get up before the sun. But your mom, she was happy to see you, she wouldn't ever miss an opportunity to see her favorite person in the whole wide world."

"I wish she wasn't so sad all the time," Brooke couldn't believe that a five year old could notice this, but then again it is hard to miss something that was so evident, even a person without sight could recognize it.

"Me too, Buddy. But we have got to keep her smiling, and you are the one to do that."

In a short two minutes, Brooke had returned Jamie to Lucas'. The day was young, but there was so much about the day that was unexpected. She definitely did not expect Lucas to be running out of his house with the re-emergence of her car. This was not the same Lucas as last night either, though sadden by the situation, he was never angry, or never put on a scalding face in front of Jamie. But not this morning, he was angry, "I cannot believe you brought him over there." His words were not as loud as Nathan's, but they resonated just the same.

"I didn't know, Luke. I regret it now, but I didn't know," hoping her apologetic words would erase the harshness in his voice.

Lindsey came out the door, still in her pajamas and scooped up Jamie, "Hey Little Man, how about we make some breakfast," the boy did not hesitate, and Lindsey gave one last look to the situation and changed tempos for Jamie. Lindsey had known Haley for years now, ever since Lucas' first book, so she knew the situation. When times got hard, Lucas realized Lindsey was a keeper, she never tried to shy away, and she did everything she could to help. And right now Jamie needed to be inside so that Brooke and Lucas could talk.

"He is the worst in the mornings, Brooke. No one is supposed to be over there."

"I didn't know," she repeated, what else could she possible say?

"It is understood, that once he wakes up, and suffers a little from his hangover, then the house is suitable for Jamie. But never before he wakes up."

"Lucas, I don't know what I can say, I am sorry. I realize what I did was wrong. But before this morning, I don't think I wanted to realize how things actual are. So you can continue to tell me what was wrong with the way I handled everything, or I can try to get a handle on what is going on."

Lucas took a sigh of relief. He did not mean to yell at Brooke, like she said, she didn't know. And he knew this, but it was the situation, it was never her. He was worried about what Jamie could see. Jamie had seen so much already, but anything that he could be protected against, it was in his best interest. Lucas felt this was a controllable situation, sometimes things happen and Jamie is exposed to it and it is unavoidable. But Lucas could have protected him from this, and he supposed he was actual angrier at himself then he was Brooke.

"I shouldn't have reacted that way Brooke, I am sorry," he put a hand to his head to rub his hair, "I am sorry. I am just trying to protect him."

"I want to do the same thing. I just didn't realize that seeing his mother in the morning would scar him. I feel as if it scarred me as well, and I am an adult. Lucas, I am scared for their well-being."

"We all are, Brooke."

"Then why hasn't something been done? There is only so much protecting you can do, before it becomes out of our hands. What are we going to do then?"

"We haven't gotten to that point yet."

"You want to get there?"

"Never, Brooke. This is the best way for everyone involved right now."

"I definitely think it is for Jamie, but what about Haley? Is she going to be living as a battered woman for the rest of her life? There has to be a breaking point."

"Not yet."

"Again Lucas, do we want to get there? I have never seen her like this. I am trying so hard to find even a glimpse of my former friend, but it is difficult."

"This is the way that she wants it. We are trying to respect what she wants."

"Lucas, I am going to be honest with you right now, and I don't want you to get angry at me." She paused trying to gather her thoughts so the right words came out, "I think that you don't see what I have seen."

"Brooke, you have been here less than 24 hours, how is this possible?"

"I am an outsider, I am looking in. I see things that you will never see. This is normal to you, and to everyone else. But what I see it so abnormal, Lucas, it is not right. Something has to be done."

"This is what she wants, Brooke. She wants Jamie to be protected from it all. She doesn't let us try and protect her. She pushes us away and makes sure that he is okay."

"But Haley isn't."

"I know that, and I hate to admit it, because I feel as if I have failed her."

"You haven't failed her, Lucas; you are respecting what she wants. But I think that we have to step over what she thinks is best."

"But what about Jamie?"

"I think in the long run, losing his mother is going to be a whole lot worst."

"We are not going to lose Haley, Brooke. She is not going to go away."

"I can't even see her, Lucas."

Lucas sat down on the hood of Brooke's rental car. He had to gather his thoughts, and the insight that Brooke was telling him. She was right though. It was so normal, all of it was. They all acted as it was okay just as long as Jamie was okay. But it was not normal for Haley to be as she was. But everyone acted as it was. He put his hands to his head, "I don't know what to do, Brooke. I'm losing my best friend," he admitted it to them both, "and it took a stranger to our last four years for me to recognize it."

There was silence as Lucas looked at Brooke in disarray. He looked away as to try to find the solution to it all. Brooke got up from the seat she had occupied, "What are you doing?" Lucas asked her, surprised with her sudden movement.

"I'm going to go talk to her."

"You can't go over there, Brooke. It is not safe."

"It is not safe for a five year old boy, it better be safe for a twenty two years old, because Haley is there now. And if it isn't safe, then she sure as hell shouldn't be over there."

He couldn't fight her, no matter what he said, she was going to go. He backed away from her car, and she drove out of the driveway. Maybe Brooke could be the savior they all needed. What they didn't know was that she needed to be saved as well.

**Hey all. I hope you like it thus far. Not everything appears as it seems, so please don't be upset with any event that has or will occur. Please let me know what you think, it would be great encouragement for me to continue. Peace.**


	5. Chapter 5

Brooke's sudden sense of confidence soon vanished as she approached the Scott residence, she was one person, what could she possibly do to change the current events? She slowed down as she arrived at the house yesterday she had thought held a world of success, when in fact it was full of hardship. She turned off the engine, and sat in silence trying to determine the best approach for the current situation. She decided the most important thing to do was to make sure that Haley was okay, and that meant she had to get out of the car. That was the first step, and after many more she was back on the doorstep. She elected not to ring the doorbell as Jamie had, but simply knocked on the door. It occurred to her that someone might not answer the door, and she was right. Her only chance left was if the door was unlocked. In Haley's fury to close the door, she had not had enough time to lock the door, so Brooke was allowed to enter into Hell.

She slowly walked the hallway; she had yet to pass this point in the two previous visits. She did not want to startle anyone by shouting out, but she hoped there was someone to shout out to. Why hadn't Haley answered the door? Scattered all over the floor was glass and beer cans, and passed out on the couch was Tree Hill's former star basketball star. Now he was a resident drunk. But where was his wife, former tutor, rock star, and cheerleader? C'mon, Hales, she thought to herself, hoping her friend was simply trying not to disturb Nathan's drunken slumber. Spotted: Haley James Scott.

Haley was in a corner, her knees were to her chin, her arms wrapped around them, and Brooke noticed how her tears glistened in the light. Haley did not have a chance to change or cover up her hardships during the time that Brooke left. She couldn't hide it anymore because an unexpected visitor helped her to her feet, embraced her, and led her out of the room.

Brooke didn't want to chance waking Nathan up, she knew that Haley would get the brunt of it, and she was sure that she already got it today, and probably yesterday, and probably the last yesterdays for a while. As they walked down the hall, Brooke had a tight grip on Haley's waist, it was almost necessary to hold the girl up. Once they arrived at a place that was out of Nathan's earshot, Brooke embraced her friend. No words were said for a while, they just held each other. Haley couldn't remember the last time she was held like this, it felt good to be in the arms of someone who loved her. That was all she ever wanted, and was all she was trying to ensure was going to continue to happen.

Brooke slowly took herself out of the embrace, she didn't want to let go either, she wanted to hold on to dear life. Haley and she were more similar then they would have thought, all Brooke ever wanted was to be loved, it was bought for her, her entire life, she just wanted it for free. She had to stare at her friend, she was trying to search for something, maybe an answer, but Haley looked away. Brooke gently put her hands on Haley's cheeks so that Brooke could look into her eyes. And without a word, the whole story was told. "What happened, Hales?"

There was no single response, and if she explained everything, her tears would hinder her completion. It was too hard to remember it all, she tried to forget, living it was enough.

Brooke realized her question was going to have to be rhetorical, there was no way it could be answered simply, and she did not want to exhaust her friend even more. She changed it to an easier one, one with no added history necessary, "How about we take a walk?"

Haley shook her head. She couldn't leave the house, not like this for one, and she couldn't leave Nathan alone. She looked at Brooke and shook again.

Brooke knew what the head shake was for, but she wasn't going to take it, "Haley, nothing is going to happen if he is left alone for an hour."

"What happens if it does," was the first statement that Haley had said since Brooke arrived at the house. It was the first real statement in over four years. And it carried weight. Weight to heavy for the small girl to carry herself.

"We have got to get that beautiful mind of yours to start believing more optimistically. Things are not going to bad forever, Hales."

Haley was ready to speak now, she had to reveal her fears, it was her first time to do so in over four months, "How do you know that? How do you know that things are going to get better? I can't see things turning around. Is one day Nathan going to wake up from another night of binge drinking, and suddenly decide he is done? That he wants to be a father to Jamie again. Is he ever going to wake up, and he decides to love me again," that last statement caused small tears to escape from her eyes. She looked to Brooke, and Brooke had her own.

Brooke was always the strong one, she had to be strong on the outside at least, and always be the support system. But her friend was seriously hurting, and she deserved Brooke's tears. Nathan and Haley's picture perfect marriage and family life were gone, and Haley was forced into a harsh reality where her husband didn't show his love. How was she ever to know, even if he still did? All he brought her was hardship and pain and away from any potential she ever had left. Brooke brought Haley's head to her shoulder, and allowed her friend to cry. Tears might not solve anything, but for the time being the tears reminded them of their lives, and that they were alive.

After a few moments Brooke lifted the duo up, still embraced, supporting her friend, and she walked towards the front door. She thought she had control, but she could not get Haley past the door. Haley backed away, "I can't do it, Brooke, I can't leave him." Every time that Brooke looked at Haley it was as it was for the first time, she couldn't believe the look on Haley's face. It was covered with fear; she feared leaving Nathan, even after everything that he had put her through. She still loved him, Brooke realized the next sentiment too well – the hardest thing in the world to do was to love someone who didn't love you back.

"When is the last time you have left the house?"

In actuality the only times she had left was to take Nathan to the doctor's. She had a lot of help with getting Jamie to and from school, and Lindsey always did her grocery shopping for her. It has been a while since she was just outside, just one with nature, just being able to take time to take it all in. She missed it. Oh how she missed so many things, all of them rushed to her, she looked up at the questioner, "It has been awhile, he doesn't want anyone to see him."

"Do you realize that everything you are saying is about Nathan? You have to start thinking about yourself. I know that Nathan is going through hell right now, but it doesn't compare to the hell he has forced you to endure the last few months."

It has been this way for so long that it was normal to her. No one ever gave her the option to change things. This was the first time, and she was afraid, because she didn't want to fail, and for Jamie to suffer even more uncontrollable consequences. No matter where she was in the world, earth or hell, she knew that her son was the most important person in her life, and she would always love him. It was what got her through the day. "I don't know any other way anymore."

"Well the first step is to let Nathan wake up and you are not there to respond to his summons." It made her think about the earlier event, "What happened anyways, Haley, after we left? Does he just yell, or does he …" she paused because she didn't want to assume anything.

Haley didn't even give her a chance to ask it, "No, he never does," she doesn't say it; she didn't want to admit her lie to Brooke.

Brooke looked down to Haley's wrist, there was a newly formed bruise surrounding her thin wrist, "What is this from then?" She asked pointing it out.

"He doesn't hit me, Brooke. Sometimes I just make him angry, I do something wrong. I did something wrong, and he grabbed my wrist, that is all."

"That is a loaded statement, Haley. And bruises don't just appear; he had to have a tight grip on your wrist to leave one."

"He doesn't hit me," she wanted to reiterate, maybe to bring attention away from her unsightly appearance. Haley wanted to believe – and get Brooke to as well – that as long as he wasn't physically abusing her, then it was alright. His words would hurt, but there was never physicality in the abuse, other than small bruises to her arms.

"Maybe not, Haley, but his words sometimes are even worse."

How it was that she knew everything to say, Haley wondered. She had never had to explain her reasoning for the way things were. Everyone in Tree Hill respected the way she wanted it. They helped protect Jamie from the harshness of the world – at least she tried – and that was all that had mattered until Brooke returned home to Tree Hill. She couldn't come up with a response.

"What time does Jamie go to school?"

"I think nine," it was awful she didn't know what time her son's school started. All she knew was that Lucas picked him up every morning before basketball practice. Jamie loved those Ravens, and once the morning practice was over, Skillz or Lucas took Jamie to school.

"Then nine it is."

"What is happening at nine?" She had no idea what to expect from Brooke now, she wasn't sure she was ready.

"We are leaving this house."

"I…" she started, but Brooke quickly stopped her.

"Don't you dare say you can't, Haley. If you are so concerned about leaving Nathan alone, then Lucas will come and sit with him."

"I am the only one who can handle him."

"Not today. Today you are going to let someone help you out."

There was nothing that Haley could possibly say to refute Brooke. She was going to have to leave the house and deal with any aftereffects later on. She was going to leave the house for the first time in months, and for the short time she was going to force herself to forget about it all…well at least she was going to try. She wanted to remember what it felt to be happy again – if only for an hour.

Lucas looked down at his phone, and noticed it was one of his favorite women in the world, "Hi, Hales," he answered with a smile.

"Luke, it is Brooke, I didn't have your number," how sorry was this statement, but times and numbers have changed, this was now.

"Oh, hey, Brooke," he didn't mind, in fact he was hoping that she would call, he wanted to know how Haley was, "how is she?"

Immediate words did not come to her head, what was she supposed to tell Haley's best friend? That Haley was on the edge of falling over the cliff? That she was fearful of her husband? That she was not being physically abused, but the words that Nathan said cut even deeper? Would this at all be reassuring, not in the least? But she didn't want to give him false hope that everyone was going to be okay, because as much as she wanted a bright aftermath, she wasn't sure she was going to see one. She came up with the only thing she could come up with, "She needs you."

"I'll end practice early, and Skillz can take Jamie to school, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Lucas," and she paused, there was nothing else to say. She was glad to see the urgency in Lucas' voice, which is what they needed now. Haley needed to be a top priority or … or else. "I'll see you soon." She ended the call, and went to hand the phone back to Haley, but she wasn't there. Brooke turned around and went to the living room, expecting her to retreat back to Nathan. But she didn't find her there, all she found was the person that was killing the insides of her former best friend, and he slept peacefully not caring about the storms he brought into the house.

Brooke found Haley in the room closest to the top of the stairs; she soon realized that it was Jamie's room. The room looked like a sanctuary for a five year old boy, but it did not protect Jamie from the world, let alone the words. Haley was laying in Jamie's bed, holding on tightly to one of Jamie's stuffed animals. Brooke sat down, and moved some hair away from Haley's face, revealing new tears. She never had the opportunity to let them out like this before; she was sure that there were still many that were to be shed.

"If it wasn't for him," Haley emerged from the ball she had formed on the bed, and looked at Brooke, "if it wasn't for Jamie," she shook her head, not sure what was the ending to the statement was.

Brooke again was speechless, there were some statements that just didn't merit responses, and there was just nothing she could say to make it better. And that is all she wanted to do.

"I just want what is best for him – that is all I want. And if my needs take a backseat, I am okay with that. I am okay with that Brooke, just as long as he is safe."

"He is safe, Haley. And there are so many people who care for him."

"I want him to know how much I love him."

"Haley, the whole world knows how much you love that little boy."

"But I keep sending him away."

"You are protecting him, and he understands that."

"I just want to hold on to him and never let him go; I want it to be safe."

"Your arms are always going to be safe to him. No matter if he is five, or sixteen, or a married man. He knows how much love resonates from those arms," she says touching them, as if Haley needed to know which arms Brooke was talking about.

"I just want to hold him," she repeated. There were so many days that she didn't get to do the things she wished she did with Jamie. He had just started kindergarten and Haley hadn't even met his teachers. They probably thought she is neglectful, which is the complete opposite of the case. But nobody knew it, nobody but her.

"You will, you will hold him forever."

They just sat there for awhile, not really saying much, both contemplating about the lives they were living. They both thought about how they had seen their dreams in front of them, but they didn't know how quickly they could or would be taken away.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a man with sandy blonde hair just taking in the sight before him, "How are two of my favorite people?"

Haley got up from the bed and went into his arms, again no words were said. And she cried into his chest, and Lucas did not let go. He looked out at Brooke; her face answered any questions that he would have asked.

When Haley broke free from Lucas, Brooke stood up, and put an arm around her, and looked at Lucas, "Luke, I am going to take Haley for a walk, she wants someone to be here in case Nathan wakes up."

"I'll sit with him," he would do anything that Haley needed, but he wasn't sure what he would say to Nathan if he woke up. The words would be laced in anger, but maybe that is what Nathan needed to wake up from the nightmare lifestyle.

They trekked downstairs, and catching a glimpse of Nathan stirring, Haley tried to get out of the walk, "He is about to wake up, I should really be here."

"What is it that you are so concerned about, Haley? What is going to happen if you aren't here?" Brooke asked coming to the realization of the gist that Haley was speaking of. Was something going to happen if she wasn't there, or was she simply stuck in normalcy that she couldn't break through?

"I have to be here for him."

"What happens if you aren't?"

"I don't know," it was a truthful statement, she didn't know, but she also didn't want to find out, she feared it.

"He is just going to have to settle for me today," Lucas said kissing his friend on the forehead, "go on, we will both be here when you come back."

Brooke gently tugged Haley along, as her eyes remained on Nathan. They were at the door; Brooke had her hand on the knob, when Haley pulled back again, as in realization, "I can't go out there, Brooke."

Brooke was starting to wonder if she was ever going to get Haley out of the door, "Why not?" She wanted Haley's reasoning so she could come up with a reason why it was absurd.

"Not like this," indicating her appearance. She had not ever gotten a chance to dress for the day and the outside world, the one in which did not reside in her home.

"It is who you are," and it was true, she shouldn't have to cover it up.

"I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"What would happen if they did?"

It stumped Haley, but through careful consideration of her words, "Then they would know," looking at Brooke.

"There shouldn't be anything to hide; you shouldn't have to hide who you are."

"But it is so much easier to do," the truth comes out.

"Let's go, and if the world sees you, so what, Haley? Stop covering who you are," Brooke's last statement got Haley out the door, but not quick enough to hear Nathan wake up. Brooke didn't let her turn around, but she knew it pained Haley to not be there. Sometimes the road was cemented in more pain before healing began. It was going to hurt a hell of a lot more before things felt better, or normal. And not the normal they were all living, a normal that was filled with happiness and love, and a mother and a son not having to be protected every day.

**AN: Please let me know if you like or dislike where the story is going. I know that it is full of angst, but it takes a lot of it before happiness reemerges. I hope that is okay. I want to get a feel on the course of this story. Thanks all. Peace.**


	6. Chapter 6

Brooke held Haley's hand as if she was just learning how to walk. She needed that extra pull though, because it was not something she was going to do willingly. She had to get Haley's mind off of the present, however, maybe it would be the best to remember the past – four years, rather than four month's past, "What was the happiest day of your life?"

Haley knew where Brooke was taking this, after all she was a smart girl, but for the moment Haley was going to go with it, "Graduation day. Who would have thought that after all the drama surrounding my speech, I wouldn't even get to complete it all? I never knew I could love someone within seconds of meeting him, but when Jamie was in my arms, I knew it would be my forever love," she was just trying to reminisce on that day, it was pure happiness. She missed pure happiness.

"I remember, you were like, 'I have more, but I think my water just broke,'" she hoped that it would get a smile out of Haley.

"It was a good speech too, but Jamie was worth missing every word."

"He was adorable," she was trying to remember that day as well.

"What about you," Haley asked, surprising Brooke, she wasn't expecting it, and she didn't know her answer. Happiness didn't come easily to Brooke.

"My favorite day?"

"Yeah, don't you have an answer to that? I mean you have one for everything else," Haley's comment struck Brooke hard, but she let the harshness slide because she understood that Haley was vulnerable.

Before Brooke even had a chance to answer, Haley reneged her retort, "I am so sorry, Brooke, you did not deserve that at all."

"Stop apologizing, you are upset, your reactions are off."

"You are just trying to help me, and I am scared, that's all."

Brooke used this opportunity to avoid Haley's question, "What are you so afraid of Haley? What scares you so much?"

"That things are not going to get better. That this is how it is always going to be. That I will miss my little boy growing up because I can't be there for him. I am scared that Nathan will never love me again, and what will I do?" looking to Brooke for some sort of clarity.

"You will move on."

"I can't move on from this, Brooke," she stopped walking and turned towards Brooke, "I don't know how" her heartfelt confession.

"That is why I am here; I am going to help you."

"I don't think this can be fixed over night."

"I didn't intend for that to be the solution."

"Brooke, how long are you going to be here?"

"I don't know yet."

"You have a multi-million dollar company that you need to run; you cannot be in Tree Hill holding onto the past."

"I have been an adult for the past four years; I think it is time that I start being a friend."

"What about your company?"

"What about my friend?"

It was a rhetorical question once more, the duo continued on their walk, it was nice to be in the open air, but in the back of Haley's mind was Nathan, he was always going to be there.

"Can we go to Jamie's school?" broke Nature's silence.

"I think he would like to see his momma," she used the same endearing word as Jamie did when describing Haley.

"Can I please change my clothes though," Haley said indicating her outfit once more.

Brooke didn't think twice, Haley was still in her pajamas, so before showing her face in Jamie's school it would be a good idea, "Yes, but first tell me how the fresh air feels."

"I feel alive."

"And when was the last time you felt this way?"

"I don't remember," three words resonated so much pain, Brooke put her arm around Haley and they walked back to the house.

Lucas ran out of the house as he saw the two returning home, Haley didn't need words to realize what had happened. It was a bad night, Nathan drank a little too much, more than normal, and it was unmanageable. She broke away from Brooke, and ran past Lucas.

Brooke looked at Lucas, "What happened?" obviously concerned with the situation.

"He is so angry, Brooke, I have never seen a person infused with so much of it."

She started running past him, then looking back, "And we just let Haley back into the house?"

"Nathan, Nathan, you have got to calm down," Brooke found Haley trying to tame Nathan's anger, but to no prevail. He was on his feet and he was inches away from Haley.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? What is that going to do? Is that going to bring back my basketball contract? I don't think you realize that everything is gone, and you want me to calm down," he was so close to her that she became drunk from his breath.

"Everything is not gone," it was the first time she had the courage to raise her voice to him. Brooke gave her new strength, but it wasn't enough.

"What the hell do I have left, Haley? Basketball was my life."

"Basketball was a part of your life, it is gone now. You have a beautiful son who misses his father, and Nathan you have me," she said trembling pushing Nathan away from her, pounding her chest where her heart once pattered to Nathan's voice, now it crumbled.

"I don't need you," he screamed at her, and pushed her back. In a normal circumstance it was not enough force to cause someone to fall to the ground. But this was not normal, and Haley was weak, and she was not strong enough to support herself – not today.

That was the final straw for Brooke, she went to Haley's side, and helped her up. Lucas had arrived on the scene and Brooke guided Haley to Lucas. She was ready to talk to Nathan now, "Are you sure about that?"

"Is little miss 'I got everything I ever wanted' going to try and come in here and act like she cares about the situation? Where have you been, Brooke Davis? Far away, and maybe that is where you should return to."

"You have a wife that loves you more than life itself, and she is hurting. You are hurting her, and you do not give a damn. You act like basketball is the only thing important in this world," she had a sense of strength she was never able to obtain when she was in the presence of Victoria, and that was the only person she ever looked weak in front of.

"It is, and it is gone," he got in Brooke's face as he had done with Haley.

"What about your family?"

"I am nothing without basketball."

"You are a coward," this angered Nathan, and he gave Brooke a little shove, but she bounced back up, "I don't know how this normally goes, but I will not take it."

"You cannot walk into my house," he put his hand on his chest, "my house, and talk to me like this."

"How can you talk to Haley the way that you do? Can you answer me that? Look at her, Nathan; can you look her in the eyes? They are filled with pain, and she is scared." She looked over at Haley in Lucas' embrace softly sobbing into his chest.

He couldn't answer Brooke, how could he possibly admit all of his wrong doings in one response. He was angry at the world, and he was angry at Haley for not realizing his disappointment in reality. She was the only one there for him to release to, she was the only one still trying to hold on to the past. But the past was gone, his past was gone, why the hell was she trying to hold onto something that wasn't there?

"Look at her, Nathan, look what you have done to your wife," Brooke was angry now, she didn't understand how Nathan could put Haley through so much and it not even faze him. She couldn't possibly understand. She hadn't been there in the last four years. He was right about something; she wasn't there, how the hell could she come in and try to fix it?

"I am looking at her," he screamed back. It was the first time that he had in the last four months without blaming her. It was the first time that he took in the scene before him. It was the first time he realized what he had done. But it was too late to try and fix things now, wasn't it?

"You have scarred her, and you have scarred your family."

"Stop, just stop it," Haley interrupted Nathan and Brooke's argument, as she pulled away from Lucas' tight protective embrace.

Brooke turned to look, "Haley?"

"Just stop it."

"I am just trying to…"

"I know what you are trying to do, Brooke. But your words cannot fix this, you cannot fix this," she was walking towards Nathan now. "His words cannot fix this either, not today. Why are we trying to fix it all? Everything was okay before you came into my house last night. Everything was okay, and now look at it all."

Was Haley blaming Brooke for the current situation? Brooke thought she was making a breakthrough, but apparently this wasn't the best method for solving the problem. She was right though, Haley was managing the situation yesterday, and now it had resorted to this. "I'm sorry, Haley," she had worsened a situation she thought she could mend. And now her friend was worse off for it. "I should have never have come back, I should have never intruded in your life." Brooke gave everyone in the room a quick glance, and then bolted out of the door.

Brooke had selfishly come home hoping to rid the emotions that Victoria had scrutinized her for having. She thought Tree Hill would be able to heal her. It was unfair to the residents to put her weight on their problems. It was obvious there were more crucial fixings necessary. Hers were minor, and they were livable. Trying to intervene in Haley's was only a way to avoid her own, and it was apparent that neither of them needed that.

She reached her car, and pulled out her cell phone, she needed to get out of Tree Hill as soon as earthly possible. Before she found Millicent's number, the calling of her name stopped her. It was Lucas Scott.

"I shouldn't have come back; I am just going to leave now. Leave everyone to the lives they were living before I interrupted them," again trying to get her assistant's number.

Lucas grabbed her phone before she had the opportunity to get her ticket out of her mistake, "Brooke, you cannot leave."

"You heard Haley, Lucas," she looked up at him and saw a look of concern, why was he concerned for her? There was no need; there was never any need of concern for Brooke. Brooke Davis was stoic.

"Are you really going to leave on account of Haley's words?"

"She is right, Lucas. Everything has worsened since I have arrived. I haven't even been back in Tree Hill for 24 hours and I have already changed everything."

"It hasn't been for the worst, Brooke."

"How can you tell me those lies? Do you see Haley in there? I did that to her," pointing towards the house.

"Nathan did that to her. I have never seen her with such strength, you gave her that courage. She never cries, never lets tears stream her face."

"I gave her a reason to cry."

"Sometimes you just need it, Brooke. She has been keeping it in for so long; do you realize how much relief she has now? She can still fight."

"She shouldn't have to fight."

"I know that. I hate seeing my best friend fight to keep her marriage alive. But it is better to fight than to give into how things have become. She would never be happy with the end result. She will never be happy without Nathan."

"I don't think I could love him after he put me through all of this."

"Some days it is hard to love my brother, but I have to realize that his dream is gone. Have you ever lost anything?"

Yet another question that caught her off guard - why was this turning back to her? This was about Haley now, not her own losses, which had been plenty. It slipped through her lips without a chance to retreat, "I lost you."

It was true; the Brooke and Lucas love story was once epic. But she had to let go of it, even though she would always love him. "I am sorry, Brooke."

She shook her head, "No, I am sorry; I didn't mean to say that. I know that you are in love with Lindsey, and I am so happy for you."

"I do love her, Brooke. But I never stopped loving you."

"You cannot be saying this to me now, Lucas. There are more pertinent things to deal with; you cannot tell me that you still love me."

"Wait, I am not confessing my love to you, I am just telling you that I will always hold onto a little piece of you. I want you to know I will never forget our love."

"What have you lost, Lucas? What have you tried to hold onto, but it just slipped away?"

"I lost Keith, I lost Jimmy. I lost my way a few too many times. And I was a mess, and it took someone to pull me back on the track. Nathan is just a mess right now."

"I don't know how you can give him any credit right now, when Haley, your best friend is in peril."

"Haley is always going to be my number one. I do not care if Nate and I are connected through blood; I have never been a fan of the Scott blood anyways. Haley has been my family long before Nathan came into my life. But she is still holding onto Nathan's love, I cannot push him aside, when my Haley needs Nathan to still be there," he looked at Brooke, "Haley is always first," giving her the extra reassurance.

"And I made things worse for her. She was carrying on in a way that she thought she could handle, and I intervened in a place where I shouldn't."

"Brooke, you said it yourself; the former version of Haley is fading. Without your insight, I think we would not have even noticed her full disappearance. You have helped us all realize that Haley is just holding on."

"She was so angry with me."

"Underneath that anger is her appreciation. She just can't find it yet. Everyone else has allowed her to carry on; no one has ever made her open her eyes to it all."

"Well, I am glad that you think I helped. I did my part then, I will just go back to my real life," she attempted to open the door.

"What about Jamie?" The questions in Tree Hill were so unpredictable. Brooke thought she was home-free, but the mention of Jamie's name changed everything. She looked at Lucas once more, "You told him that his Uncle Lucas was wrong, that you were going to be staying for awhile. What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Lucas, I can't stay for a little boy."

"Why not?" He didn't see any outlandish reason why she couldn't stay. "So many people in his short life have already let him down; please do not be another statistic."

"I have a company to run, Lucas," she was going to try and pull out as many excuses as possible. But she could already tell that Lucas was going to have a counter for each one.

"You are here though."

He was right, she was here, and it was where she thought she needed to be. Going back to New York would just be another way to hide from her reality. It was something she had gotten extremely well at. "I shouldn't be."

"Brooke, it has been four years," as if she needed a reminder, "there has to be a reason you came back," ding, ding, we have a correct answer from Mr. Lucas Scott. He got her, he always had, why did she think he would forget?

Was she to fall for his eyes, like she so easily did when they were in high school? He merited a response, an answer of some sort, but it was not that easy. Yes, she had been away for four years, and missed four years of history here, but no one knew about her history ridden four years in New York. No one knew that a multi-million dollar company did not equal her happiness, what she was living in was anything but bliss.

"There has got to be a reason you came back," he tried again.

"I needed to get away," a portion of the truth was broken off. It wasn't nearly a large portion of the massive mountain she was hauling behind her. But it was the most she had given away – to anyone.

"Then don't run back, Brooke."

"There is so much in New York."

"There is even more here," he was right on the money. He was smart; no wonder he wrote books, he had a way with his words.

The last statement finally won her over, she wasn't going to try anymore excuses, she needed to be here. And so did everyone else. "It cannot be permanent."

"I am not asking you for it to be."

"I am going to find my own place to live."

"As long as you stay, I could care less where you are staying."

Brooke embraced Lucas, it had been too long. She missed those eyes, those kind words, she missed her friend. She missed Lucas, "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

"For what?" accepting her embrace.

"For welcoming me home."

"Don't you forget that."

"Forget what?"

"That this is your home. And you can always come home. No matter how long you are away," he told her letting her go. He missed his friend as well.

"I can promise you though; next time won't be as long."

"Be careful with your words, Brooke. Look where they have gotten us."

"You are right, I hope that next time won't be as long," Lucas was right again, words have changed the course of their futures, she better be careful which ones she selected.

"So you are staying, this is good news," trying, barely achieving, to brighten the already gloomy day.

She looked back towards where the gloom with looming, "What are we going to do now? Is she safe in there?"

"I think in her own way she is."

"But I made things worse. What happens if he lashes out at her?"

"We cannot take her out of that house, Brooke. It will make things even worse. She will resent us."

"I rather she resent us now then be trapped later on."

"I wouldn't leave her if I didn't think she was safe."

"Is she ever really going to be safe, Lucas? Look what he is doing to her mind."

"Physically she is safe."

"Her mental state is more important."

Again the hands went to his head, he didn't know what to do, "There is no handbook on this. There is no how to save your best friend guidebook. I don't know what the right thing is to do. I know that I care about her, and I want her to be okay. But I don't know how to get her there," he looked towards the house as well, as if the lingering answers would resonate.

They didn't. "What happens if we take her out of there?"

"We lose her."

"What happens if she is already gone?"

How could anyone possibly answer this question? "Then we have no chance of getting her back. If we leave her in, then we have a chance."

"So we let it be? We let her continue to bend over backwards for a man that is emotionally abusing her."

"She doesn't see it that way."

"But that is what it is. It is damaging her psyche. It is going to break. She is going to break, and then what?"

"We fix it."

"I don't think it works that way. Sometimes the pieces simply do not fit back together," taking a note out of her personal thoughts. So many times she wished someone tried to glue it all back together, but in actuality she knew it would never be the same. She was never going to be the same, and neither was Haley if something didn't happen. There was no way that she could sit there and watch as Haley tried to mend everything herself. It was too heavy of a weight to carry alone. And it was something else she knew well; attempting it alone was never to work, that weight is just too heavy to lift.

"I don't know what to do."

"Well I am willing to be the one that she hates, if it makes things a little better."

"She is not going to hate you."

"She might after what I do. And I rather she hate me, then she hate you. You are always going to be here. We know that can't be said about me."

"What are you going to do?"

"I am going to remove her from the situation."

"Where are you going to take her?"

"First, to your house so she can change into some Clothes ova Bros originals, then we are going to go to Jamie's school. A mother misses her son."

"What about Nathan?"

"What about him? He is not confined to a wheelchair. He is not completely unable. I am pretty sure he knows how to pour milk into a cereal bowl. If you are so concerned about his well-being, then you can stay with him. But I am a little more concerned about Haley's."

Lucas was glad to see the embodiment of strength in Brooke. She had a plan, she had a head on her shoulders, and that is what they needed at the moment. "How are you going to get her out of house though?" he inquired.

"I am not going to get her all by myself, but the possibility of her son needing her will."

Lucas nodded, he sure hoped that Brooke's plan worked, it was the first step towards recovery for Haley, and that is what she needed right now. "Whatever you need me to do, whatever she needs me to do, I will not hesitate."

"As long as we do not falter, we may win."

"It is not a game though, Brooke."

"If we are losing her, then we have to win her back, it may not be a board game, but there has to be some strategy to it all."

"You ready for this?"

"I don't think anyone can ever be ready to rescue a friend in need, but with blind faith we trek on hoping we have made the right decision."

"We will never know unless we break down the doors."

"I'm ready," she said it whether it was true or not. She had to be ready; she had to be ready for Haley.

Lucas and Brooke followed the path they used to exit the house, and she opened the door neglecting to knock. She did not know what to expect, especially after how they had left the feuding couple. It was silent; she did not hear a sound, no voices, nothing at all. They turned the corner and Nathan was sitting on the couch, he seemed to be in deep thought. Brooke quickly looked around the living room looking for Haley, fearing that Nathan had done something to her. When she did not find her, she demanded to know where she was, "Nathan, what did you do to her? Where is she?"

**AN: Please don't hate me, but remember that everything is not as it seems. So what are your thoughts thus far? I would love to hear from you. Peace.**


	7. Chapter 7

Nathan blinked out of his trance and took in the new picture before him. She had returned, he thought he scared Brooke away. He had that affect on people; it was something that he just recently recognized. "She said she missed her son."

Brooke had so much to say to Nathan at this moment, but he was not worth her time, he did not deserve it. Lucas watched as Brooke passed him and she trekked up the stairs. The closest Haley could get to Jamie right now was in his room. She found her in his bed once more, a déjà vu scene she wished she did not have to see again, it showcased how broken and pained her friend was, and it was a picture she did not want embedded in her mind.

It took Haley a few seconds to even register Brooke was in her presence again, she thought that her harsh words were going to keep Brooke away. Apparently she was wrong, "I thought you left," was her first acknowledgement of Brooke's presence.

"I forgot something," Brooke said sitting down on Jamie's bed as Haley's form did not even change.

"What is that?" she questioned curiously.

"You," Brooke said truthfully. She should have never left the house without Haley. No matter if Haley had cited that she could handle the situation. Brooke knew too well that Haley's vision was blocked; it was unfair for Brooke to accept the words as truth and run away from the situation. Unfortunately, she was conditioned.

"I shall remain forgettable," she said for the first time making eye contact with Brooke.

"You forgot the prefix in that one my dear, I remembered something from high school English. I could never forget you permanently. It was a misstep for me to leave prematurely."

"I told you to."

"I shouldn't have listened to you. I was wrong."

"Brooke, I am a lost cause."

"I am never going to give up on you," Brooke moved hair out of Haley's face so the conviction in her eyes was proof. "Never believe you are alone."

"I guess not today."

"Not today, not tomorrow," Brooke reaffirmed.

"I thought that you weren't coming back."

"Well for once I know more than the Tutor girl, I knew I was."

There was a smile on her face, it was small, and it was still sad, but it was a smile, and it confirmed to Brooke it was the right decision to come back. "Let's go," Brooke said when she was sure Haley was ready, tugging ever so slightly to get her moving.

"I just want to stay in Jamie's bed, and hold onto him."

"Well, how about we do something even better than holding onto his covers and stuffed animals. How about you hold Jamie all afternoon?"

This got Haley on her feet, though unstable from exhaustion, "I have to change my clothes. I have to be presentable. This is the first time his teachers are going to see me. What are they going to think of me? I need to take a shower, fix my hair, and makeup to cover up the entirety of my life" trying to list all the necessities she left were needed for her to be herself – or the prepackaged version.

"Haley the only person who matters is Jamie, and he will love you with or without makeup. He loves you regardless of the life you are trying to cover up," calming Haley with a comforting hand.

"I am not ready for the world to see me yet."

"Fair enough. How about we impress that world then with some clothes from a famous designer? You might know her by name, Brooke Davis."

Another faint smile appeared on Haley's face, it was brief, but it was there. Haley had not smiled in months; her lips were not used to the change in expression. Brooke cradled Haley as they walked down the stairs.

Brooke wanted to speak with Lucas before they left; she wanted to see what he was planning on doing. Lucas was fixated on the couch next to Nathan, neither of them spoke, silence radiated in the room. "Luke?" broke it. "We are going to go. Are you coming or are you staying?" She would prefer if he left with them, Nathan didn't deserve any company in her opinion. But it didn't really matter.

"I think I am going to stay."

"We will be back later," and with that the two successfully made it out the house without any hesitance from Haley.

Once they got in the car, Brooke informed Haley she could pick something out of the bag in the backseat. She was hoping that Haley didn't recognize the magazine stack as a makeshift car seat for Jamie. She didn't but found an outfit she liked. "Can we go to Lucas' to change?"

"I don't see why not. Maybe we can catch up Lindsey on all of it."

"I have been such a horrible friend to her lately."

"I think she understands Haley."

"Luke and Lindsey are all I have in Tree Hill," this hit Brooke harder than she thought it would. But the truth sometimes hurt, "and I keep pushing them away."

"They didn't go away, they are willing to help."

"I don't deserve it."

"I think they would tell you differently," Brooke said as they pulled into Lucas's driveway. "But you can find out for yourself if you want to."

Brooke watched as Haley slowly got opened her door, holding on tightly to the new outfit. It was as if Haley had never been to Lucas' before, that she feared what was inside. Lindsey was the only one inside, but then Brooke realized it. Haley didn't fear Lindsey; she feared the severity and finality of it all. It was the finality of how things had been going, and she didn't know how to change.

Brooke made it to Haley, and put a comforting arm around Haley's small waist, "Welcome back, Haley."

"Welcome back to where?"

"Your old life."

Lindsey had heard the doors closing and went to the window to see who it was. Lucas called her earlier updating her on what was happening. She hadn't heard for him in awhile, and she was expecting him to show up. It shocked her to see Haley with Brooke. The last time Haley was in the house was before Nathan's accident. She realized then that Brooke already seemed like a good person to be around. She brought out the best in people, and she would even admit that held true for Lucas. She opened the door before the girls had an opportunity to knock. She had to admit that she had never seen this version of Haley. The version she always saw was manufactured, appearing as if she could handle it all. This Haley was the original, unmanufactured – and she hated to admit it but she liked this version better, this one was real.

The second that Haley saw the look on Lindsey's face she realized that there was no animosity. She was hesitant to approach, but Lindsey put her arms around Haley, and spoke into her ear, "It is good to see you out of the house."

"It took a lot of pleading, and pulling," Brooke informed Lindsey making eye contact. It was now that Brooke realized how close the two were. It hit her that in her absence Lindsey had taken over the coveted best friend role. It must be hard on Lindsey to watch Haley experience this and feel so helpless.

As she left the embrace, "Well I am glad it worked."

"Brooke is pretty stubborn. And she always gets what she wants," it wasn't offensive, it was the truth. And it was statement of their past, registering that it was still there, and she was willing to return to it if necessary.

"Let's go get you changed," Brooke tried; she thought she should get to Jamie's school before there were too many obstacles.

"I am pretty sure I can change myself," Haley informed her.

"Okay, well we are going to be a big girl now, call if you need any assistance," Brooke watched Haley walk away. Once she disappeared she looked at Lindsey. There was a sense of relief written over her face, but it was not premature, Lindsey's face also held a world of sorrow for her friend. "How you doing?"

This question surprised Lindsey, "Me? How am I doing?"

"That was the question."

"Honestly, my emotions are a little mixed."

"How come?"

"I have not seen Haley out of the house in a very long time, which is so good. I tried so hard, but she would not leave his side."

"Like Haley said, I am pretty stubborn," she wasn't sure if she should apologize for completing a task that Lindsey failed to attempt.

"I didn't want to be the hero, Brooke. I am glad she is out, regardless of who got her here. It is just," she paused, trying to determine what she wanted to say to yesterday's stranger, "I am not part of her history, I couldn't give her what she needed." It was out, Lindsey didn't know how to heal Haley, and she felt guilty.

"I really hope that you do not in some way think any fault belongs to you. And you don't give yourself enough credit; you are certainly part of her history. You have gotten her to this point now."

"And look how well I did."

"Lindsey, this is not your fault for how things are."

"You were able to do something I never have," she looked at Brooke who pleadingly asked what it was, "you have gotten her to expose herself."

"It was a fluke."

"You don't give yourself enough credit."

"I don't deserve credit. The reason she is still so raw and exposed is because I interrupted it all. I broke with the tradition of the day, and I saw her when no one was supposed to be there. And I didn't let her cover up."

"That is what she needed, Brooke, more than anything, was for someone to come in and not allow herself to hide."

"It could have been anyone."

"But it was you." And it was Brooke, she was the one who broke the barriers, who broke through and grabbed Haley before she was able to return. It was Brooke.

"I realized today that in my absence she had a good support system. She would not have been able to even get to this point without Luke, the River Court Boys, and you, Lindsey. You are her best friend."

"But I didn't get her out of the house."

"She wasn't ready before today, it wasn't my doing."

"You must be crazy to think that. It has everything to do with you, Brooke."

She had a purpose coming here, maybe her calling home wasn't about herself, maybe it was about Haley all along. "Are you angry with me?"

Lindsey realized that her ranting might have been seen as envious towards Brooke for being able to achieve something that she hadn't been successful at, but it wasn't true. She just wanted to make sure that Brooke saw the impact she had made, "Of course not, Brooke. You have been able to pull a good friend of mine out of the darkness, and I am grateful to you."

"I am grateful to you for watching her while I was gone. She deserves someone like you. I walked away and I didn't look back. You have never left her side."

"You are not very good at accepting compliments are you?" Lindsey questioned her. She was not used to them; it was normally insults or bickering pointing out something that was wrong. Brooke was never told of her successes or her well doings – according to Victoria she had none.

Her extended pause and Haley's reappearance allowed Brooke to avoid the question, "How do I look?"

"Like a mother that loves his son."

"That was the look I was going for," Haley held out a hand to Brooke, "thank you."

"You may have as many clothes as you want. You are a hot momma."

"Not for the clothes. Well of course for the clothes, but more for taking me to see Jamie, and for opening my eyes a little. I have been blind to it all, I will admit that now. Thank you for giving me the sight to see again." Then she turned to Lindsey, she had secretly overheard a majority of the conversation between Lindsey and Brooke. "I wanted to thank you as well," she saw Lindsey begin to protest, "No, you cannot even try to rebut it. You could at any point have said that it was too much, but you never backed down from all of the requests I bestowed upon you. I know that this could not have been easy on your relationship with Lucas."

Lindsey was able to cut in, "It made it even stronger, Haley. I could thank you for that. Some days I wonder who Lucas loves more, me or you," she saw Haley's face and realized it came out wrong. "What I was trying to say is that Lucas loves you so much, and I have never been jealous of this love. I have seen the capacity of his love, and it solidified mine for him. I knew I could always love a man with so much passion for another."

"I always thought I was being a burden."

"You are our friend, it was never a burden. Please, never think that."

"I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for you and Luke."

"So don't think that way. I am here. Luke is here."

"So am I."

"Brooke is here. You have so many people who love you and Jamie. We are here."

"And I am not going anywhere this time, Haley," when she said this statement it was pure confirmation that she wasn't going back to New York. Well as least not for now. Success only gets you so far, and it brought her back to Tree Hill. New York was filled with money and glamour. The only thing she ever needed was love, and she was sure she saw it in Haley's eyes. She never had to leave to find it; it was at home after all.

"What about your world?"

"My world is right here, right now," this led to another hug from Haley. In actuality to Haley, she would try and sneak in as many as possible. Warm arms were something that was lacking in the last several months, something she was sure missing.

"Well if that is true, can we take your world to mine? I want to see Jamie so bad," another glimmer of hope, some one other than Nathan was on her current mindset. And the thought of Jamie accompanied a smile.

"Of course, let's go," Brooke said seeing Haley's excitement. She looked over at Lindsey in the process and realized she was still overwhelmed with the situation. "Actually, Hales, can I meet you in the car, I wanted to change. I mean this is the first time Jamie's teachers are seeing me too. And I wore this yesterday."

"Good idea," Haley agreed, "Linds, I promise I will not let another four months go by without me coming here," giving her a hug, and departing to Brooke's car.

Brooke watched closely as Haley walked out and turned to Lindsey, whose face was plastered in pure concern. Haley was acting giddy, as a child, and it scared her. This was not Haley, and even if it was better than the former, this façade could only hold up so long – until she cracked. Brooke said the only words that she thought were necessary at the moment, "Things are going to get better." In the darkest of days, the only thing that keeps anyone going is that glimmer that tomorrow will be better.

"How can you say that? How can you believe it?" Lindsey's emotions could not be hidden on her face. She didn't understand how Brooke could see tomorrow, when they were stuck in today.

"What else do you have to choose? Haley's unhappiness? Another downward spiral? I just thought you would rather choose hope. I just thought you might have needed to hear it."

"I'm scared, Brooke. I am just scared," there was nothing else that she could say, it was the truth. She was scared for the moment, the situation, and for her friend.

"You have nothing to fear. Haley has always been the strongest person I have ever known. This is a bump, only a bump in the road. She will get past it all. She has a great friend in you and a family in Lucas." Haley has always been the rock in everything, and Brooke didn't want to admit it to Lindsey, but she scared too. Rocks sometimes crumble, and those pieces never quite fit together again.

"And she has you," repeating Brooke's previous words.

"And she has me, if it means anything at all."

"It means everything."

When the talk gets turned to Brooke she shuts down. She has been avoiding it her whole life. She was not going to open up to a girl she met yesterday. "Well, I have to go back to Haley," she starts to walk away, but is stopped by Lindsey's words.

"If you are ever willing, I'm here to talk to you about whatever you are running from," how could she possibly know that Brooke was a runaway from her own truth and struggles. How could she possibly know?

Brooke turned and the look on Lindsey's face cemented it all, she knew. And maybe Brooke's eyes confirmed there was a truth, but she wouldn't let her words do it. "Haley is waiting," and she left the room, slightly overwhelmed. She was sure she could escape it at home; she could escape what sent her running here. But she wasn't so sure anymore. She only had a moment to recompose herself for Haley. She decided then it would always be about Haley. When she was sure that Haley's life was turning around, she would slip out of Tree Hill. No one missed her in four years; they wouldn't miss her after she left again. That was her plan, but first she had to keep her promise to her broken friend and her little boy.

Haley was so excited that she didn't even acknowledge that Brooke had not changed her clothes. Brooke had to smile at Haley's childish joy, "I think there is a little boy waiting on his momma."

The car trip was short, and it was silent. The overwhelming truths of the moment could never be touched on the way to Haley's first bout of happiness in months. It would not be fair to Haley, and more than anyone it would be unfair to Jamie.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I have to brace you all, you might not like this version at chapter's end. That being said, please enjoy.**

Brooke expected Haley to jump out of the car the second they pulled up at Jamie's school, but this didn't happened. As Brooke unhooked her own seatbelt, she noticed Haley had not moved, or even attempted to undo her own. She placed a hand on Haley's shoulder, to somehow wake her into reality, "Haley, we are here."

Haley didn't say anything, but with Brooke's hand on her shoulder, she was brought back down into reality. She felt like a stranger in her own life. How did this happen? She was now the neglectful mother visiting her son. She never wanted to be this mother. She swore on the day of his birth, that she would love him unconditionally forever. Forever was not over, and though she loved him with every ounce and morsel of her heart, she was not sure Jamie knew it. She had been a terrible mother to her son. He should know how much he was loved, and she wasn't sure he did. She had failed on her vows to him.

"Haley, honey, what is the matter? We are here. Don't you want to see Jamie?" Brooke was concerned now, just minutes ago Haley was in a childish oblivion, and now she was in shock. How could just minutes change everything? She took back her thoughts. She knew too well that minutes could change everything. They had already taken place, and Haley, and Nathan, and Jamie's world was changed within minutes. There was no reason why the same couldn't happen for Haley now.

Haley looked at Brooke, with tears welling in her eyes, "I don't know if my son knows how much I love him."

"Oh, Haley, he knows that no one loves him more than his mom."

"I haven't been there for him."

"But he knows how much you love him," she was sure that she had this conversation with her earlier in Jamie's bedroom.

"How can he possibly know when I am always sending him out of the house? I am always sending him away."

"You have his best interest in mind."

"I want to have him in my arms."

"You will, let's go inside."

"I don't know if I can do this, Brooke," Brooke wasn't sure how her friend could shut down like this. Haley clearly said that more than anything she wanted to be with her son. But now that she had the opportunity she would not get out of the car. Brooke never knew the love a mother could have for a child, but she was sure good parents would drop everything to be able to see their child. All Haley had to do was open the door, why was it so hard?

"All you want is Jamie, and he is inside those doors. What is so hard?" She still didn't understand. Jamie was inside, why couldn't she just go inside?

Haley had turned away again to gather her thoughts, but when her glance returned to Brooke, the tears had escaped, and as they trickled down her cheeks, she spoke her greatest fear, "What happens if he doesn't want me?

Brooke's heart crumbled, the pain in her friend's eyes, and the words she spoke, they broke her heart, "Oh, Haley, you are all he wants." She got out of the car, opened Haley's door, unbuckled her seatbelt, helped her up, and embraced her, "you are all he wants," she repeated, and let Haley silently sob until she was ready.

When she was ready she wiped her tears away, she couldn't damage Brooke's clothes, and she couldn't alter her manufactured appearance. She had to look presentable to Jamie's teachers, and more than everything, she had to look presentable to Jamie. "I'm ready now," Haley informed Brooke.

Brooke hooked arms with Haley, "Let's go then," as the duo walked into the school. Brooke opened the door, and Haley walked in first. It was fate, but Jamie's class was walking through the hall. The instant the door had opened, Jamie turned his eyes, and what he saw was what he wanted all along. He saw his mother, and he jutted from the line, and was scooped up by his mother's loving and wanting arms.

Brooke saw Jamie's teacher approach the reunited duo, and she did not want anyone to interrupt this time. She extended her hand, "I'm Brooke Davis. Jamie is my godson and that there is his mother who missed him very much."

"That is Mrs. Scott?" she questioned.

"Yes, ma'am. Why are you so surprised?" she was now almost insulted by this lady's inquiry.

"She is just so put together, nice clothes, makeup. I just assumed that the reason she wasn't around was…"

She didn't get a chance to finish her assumption, Brooke wouldn't let her. How dare she assume that Haley was neglectful based on her current appearance. This lady had no idea what was underneath Haley's clothes or in her home. "She is here now, isn't that enough?"

Jamie's teacher realized she had overstepped, "I'm sorry. I should know better. Jamie is such a good kid; it just breaks my heart to see him so sad all of the time."

"He has been through a lot lately."

"I just thought that his mom would be more active in his life."

"How dare you say that? How dare you say that about Haley? Maybe she hasn't been to his school, but Jamie is the only thing on her mind every day. How dare you say that she is not active in his life? He is her main concern in this life, and she spends every day protecting him."

"It just would have been nice to know what was going on."

"You have no right to know," Brooke was becoming defensive now.

"Ms. Davis, I think we are getting off on the wrong foot. My main concern is Jamie as well, so I am looking out for his well-being. When he comes to school with that sad face of his, I want to make sure that his mother is not the reason for his tears."

"She is the one to wipe them away," she said adamantly. She had to step back though before she said something she regretted. This teacher was concerned about Jamie; Brooke should not be down her throat. It was pure concern for the boy, and though Brooke knew the truth in the situation, there is a possibility that parents do cause little boy's tears. Just not Jamie's mother, just not Haley.

"I'm sorry that I have seemed to upset you."

"I apologize as well; I should have noted that your concern was for Jamie, and that is all."

"I am glad that Mrs. Scott came here today, I can clearly see that it is what he needed. I have not seen him this happy. Please forgive my comments."

"If you can forgive mine."

"I can see that you care about your godson a lot," she wished that she had cared about him for his last five years, not just the last 15 hours. But if this lady could see her pure admiration radiating, then she was on the right path to recovering from lost time.

"More than anything."

"Well, my aide just took the class to Art. Is Jamie going to be going home with you?"

Brooke hadn't thought that much ahead of time. All she wanted was for Haley to hold onto Jamie, and that is as far as she got. She looked over at Jamie and Haley in tight embrace. Brooke wasn't sure if Haley was every going to let go.

Jamie broke the embrace, and said something Brooke didn't want him to say, "Who is watching Daddy?" He knew too well, that Nathan couldn't be left alone. The reason Haley was void in Jamie's life was because she had to watch him. If she was here, where was he?

Haley had briefly forgotten about Nathan, but Jamie's reminder was that she had left Nathan when he needed her. Nathan needed her.

When Haley didn't answer, Brooke interjected, "Your Uncle Lucas is watching him for a little bit, Buddy."

"But I thought only you could watch him, Momma," it was the only lie Haley had ever told to her son. But it wasn't really a lie, it was what she believed. When Jamie begged her to do things, she told him she was the only one who could watch his Daddy. No one else could handle him, only her. It was what she believed.

Brooke had to answer again, she was seeing color leave Haley's face, and she was afraid this reunion would be short lived, "Your momma decided to let your Uncle Lucas have a try because she really wanted to see you."

Jamie bought Brooke's response, but Haley didn't, and it scared Brooke. How could Haley be so fixated on Nathan, when there was a loving little boy that wanted Haley's time? She couldn't let her fear show though, Jamie grabbed Brooke and Haley's and looked up at his teacher, "Miss Jacobs, can I show my Aunt Brooke and my Momma our room?"

"I think they would love that," giving the little boy a smile he deserved.

"Haley, wouldn't that be great if we see Jamie's classroom," Brooke said trying to bring her back to her current reality. They were at Jamie's school now; Haley could not be lost in her thoughts of Nathan's needs.

"I want to see your desk, your cubby, everything," Haley feigned it. She had to, though she loved her son more than anything, Nathan resided on her mind. It wasn't her fault; she had become conditioned by this accident.

Brooke didn't believe it, but for the sake of Jamie, she was going to feign it as well. He was purely and utterly happy, and no one should take away a little boy's happiness.

After Jamie had shown them everything from his favorite pencil to the class gerbil, Haley's uneasiness about leaving Nathan was getting to her. "Can I come home with you now?" Jamie asked. He excelled at school, a lot of credit belonging to Haley, but school didn't matter to him right now. Nothing really did.

Brooke thought she was going to have to answer for Haley again, but Haley spoke before Brooke had a chance to come up with a good response, "Actually, Honey, I think it would be best if you stayed at school. I wouldn't want you to miss anything."

"C'mon Haley, it is kindergarten, what can the boy miss? The alphabet? A comes before z, okay Jamie."

"I know my ABCs," Jamie informed his godmother.

"See, Haley, he is a genius. He doesn't need kindergarten. He can miss one day."

"C'mon, Momma, please."

The look on Jamie's face would have won most over. It had won Brooke into buying $250 worth of ice cream – the best $250 of her life. But it couldn't win Haley over. Jamie was safe at this school, the second he left it, she wasn't so sure. She couldn't even be sure that she was safe enough for him. So she crumbled inside, but kept her ground on the outside, "I'm sorry Jamie, but it would be best if you stayed at school today."

A disappointed Jamie responded, "This is about Daddy isn't it?"

"No, Sweetie, this is about a little boy who is supposed to be in school."

"I don't believe you. You just want to go home to Daddy."

"It isn't like that Jamie. If I could, I would take you with me."

"Why can't you, Haley? Jamie obviously wants to spend time with you. One day of school will not blemish his future academics. He has good genes, I promise you. I missed lots of days of school, and look how great I turned out," this statement was said in hopes of a smile or laughter. Brooke didn't get either.

"Why can't you, Momma?" Jamie asked hoping his attempt would fare better.

"Because I said so," four awful, retched words that only wicked parents used as excuses for their reasoning. Why were those words coming out of Haley's mouth?

"It isn't fair," Jamie whimpered.

"Well a lot of things aren't fair. But you have to live with it," Brooke was surprised with Haley's word choice and tone towards Jamie.

"Haley," Brooke tried.

"Jamie, you are going to stay her, do you understand?"

"I wish Daddy's accident never happened," Jamie was close to tears with his last attempt to reel Haley back in.

"I know you miss your daddy," Haley tried recover from her missteps.

But that wasn't the route he was taking, "No, I miss you," it was the breaking point in Haley's agony. Her son couldn't see her anymore. What had she become?

"Umm, your Uncle Skillz will get you after school," she was backing away from him, "I will see you after basketball practice," it would be safe then, and she was at the door, "I love you Jamie," and she was out of sight.

Brooke bent down to put Jamie is her arms, "she loves you so much it hurts her, Jamie," reassuring the boy of his mother's love.

"I think I know that, but some days, I wish she would pick me instead of him."

She spoke to the boy's eyes, "She isn't choosing sides, Buddy."

"Then why does she spend all of her time with him?" it left Brooke stumped. She knew the adult response, but she didn't know the child proof answer.

"She loves you, Jamie."

"Yeah, I know," Brooke followed the same process that Haley had, backing up not wanting to leave the boy, but knowing she had to. She waved goodbye and went off to find Haley. He was safe, Haley on the other hand, not so much.

Haley hadn't made it to the car. She was on the front steps but there wasn't tears branded on her face as Brooke expected. She sat down and didn't say anything. At this point she was speechless.

"I yelled at him, Brooke. I gave him stupid excuses that I never thought I would. And I walked away when he needed me."

"He'll understand," she knew it wasn't the right choice of words, but it was all she had.

"When? After he hates me? Ten years from now when he forgives me for putting his father first. He shouldn't have to understand. He is too young. He should have two loving parents that put him first. Always put him first."

Brooke was going to try another approach. She couldn't always say what Haley wanted to hear. That would only get them so far, and definitely not far enough, "Then do it. Put him first," her harshness surprised herself, but it had to be done. Brooke was not going to baby the situation any further.

She was not expecting Brooke to say those words, but she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of this option herself. But her thoughts returned to Nathan, they always seemed to return to him, "I can't."

"Why the hell not?" She said a little too loud, looking around remembering she was at an elementary school, "Why not?" she said softer.

"Nathan," was the only word Haley got out, because Brooke was going to give Haley a piece of her mind about Nathan.

"Nathan needs to get off of his ass and deal with the events of the last months. And you need to let him wake up alone. He has become dependent on you, and you let him."

"So this is my fault? It is my fault that Nathan has taken his passion for basketball and turned it to alcohol?"

"He made the decision himself, Haley. But you have catered to his needs."

"What else was I supposed to do?" she cried out in desperation. "He was one step away from the NBA, and one bad choice landed him in a wheelchair. The dream he worked so hard for was taken away from him."

"It did not give him the right to treat you like shit," she was very adamant about her stance. She didn't care if Nathan was her friend or her stranger.

"But he was in so much pain, Brooke," trying to reason with Brooke her personal position. All she wanted to do was help him heal. She could not see anything else.

"No matter how bad he was hurting, he had no right to make you experience your own pain. Don't you understand that this is not a loving relationship anymore?"

"But I married him in sickness and in health."

"I understand that he is sick, and you are protecting your vows to him. But this is a sickness he has brought on himself, he had control over the situation, and it could have been handled differently." She was trying to get Haley to understand that though she vowed to be with Nathan through anything, she didn't have to deal with Nathan's angry response to his accident. He had said the same vows, and he promised to love her regardless, "And I don't see him sticking to his vows he recited, why should you be held to yours?"

"I love him."

"Honey, I know you love it, it is evident. But how long can you be with a man who doesn't show the same love that you show him. You deserve to be loved, especially with how much love you are putting in."

"It is all I want."

"Then do something about it."

"I don't know how."

"Well that is where I come in. We are going to give Nathan an ultimatum: stop drinking and consciously attempt to pull yourself out of your rut, or Jamie and Haley are leaving."

"I can't do that to him, Brooke," she feared the result on the latter.

"Do you want what's best for Jamie?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Well, then I think you are going to have to dig deep inside that broken body of yours and fight with whatever strength you have left. You have to make the right choice for Jamie, and I think even more importantly, you have to make it for you."

Haley let those thoughts stand, but asked Brooke one of her own inquiries, "how long do you think I could have pretended I had everything under control if you hadn't miraculously showed up?'

"It is not something we have to worry about."

"I want to know though. How bad did it look from the outside?" she was curious now, no one had entered their lives since the accident. Everyone suited her urgencies, but Brooke came in, and she saw that this setup was not practical or supportive of Haley's wellbeing.

"It was pretty bad, Hale," she had to be honest, she knew that Haley didn't want lies. She needed the truth, so she could build up the necessary strength to overcome it all. Brooke's mind was filled with vivid memories from Haley's reemergence in her life. "Haley," she had to get her complete attention because she wanted Haley to understand Brooke's perspective, "I almost didn't recognize you. I mean I knew that it was you, but that tiny waist and those pain filled eyes covered up your former self. I wondered what happened to my friend."

"A lot has changed since you left."

"You can say that again."

"I can say the same about you too, Brooke. You are not the same person that left four years ago. Where is my Brooke?"

"You think I have changed? I am right here, Haley."

"Your smile is gone, and your figure is even tinier then your high school version."

Brooke wasn't ready for this to be turned around on her. Her plan was to escape before she was addressed. It was going to have to be a pretty damn good plan; it was the one she intended to use – for the rest of her life. "My smile is right here," she put a big, fake smile upon those ruby red lips. It hurt though; it was so painful to fake it. But it was something she was used to hiding – the pain beneath her clothes, the pain beneath her eyes.

Haley put a hand on Brooke's cheek, "What happened to you, Brooke?" Haley took a minute to look at Brooke, really look at her. She had been so wrapped up in herself and her family's issues that she hadn't been able to take time to see Brooke's broken self hidden underneath her couture clothes. Haley was so concerned over whether or not she would be able to grab a hold of her own life, she hadn't realized that Brooke was letting go of her own.

"Nothing happened. I am the same person I was four years ago," trying to shake Haley's notion that something was wrong. In Brooke's eyes nothing was, so the attention should be averted from her.

"If that is what you want to believe," Haley said getting up, "but as long as you are willing to avoid the real world, so will I. I need to go home to Nathan."

Brooke was in shock. All she was trying to do was help Haley and it had been turned on her. She got up to follow Haley. She had to let it slide. The more she tried to pretend that her pain was nonexistence, it would be clearly evident that it was flying freely.

She wasn't sure that anything had been accomplished coming to Jamie's school. A little boy's heart was broken, and his mother couldn't take the time to put the pieces back together. Brooke didn't want to blame Haley for Jamie's pain, but who was left on the list? She realized with all of her heart that Haley was entrapped in her own encasement of sorrow, a disillusioned life. But her son was crying out for her, and she left him. She left him to be with a man who berated her with words, and inflicted the abundance of her pain. Brooke didn't understand anymore. Haley couldn't even break out of her celled in life for Jamie, how the hell was Brooke going to give her the key?

**AN: So who do you dislike more as of now, me or Haley? I swear that this is the not the final product of Haley. She is in unhealthy relationship, and she will soon realize it, as of now, she is trapped, trapped in the relationship and the thoughts she has about it. Oh, and another small piece was broken away on Brooke. She is going to do everything in her power to ensure that she is never in the limelight. Okay, so how do you think this is going? Is it too outlandish, or are you enjoying the process? Please let me know, it would mdan a lot to receive some more feedback. Peace.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: This chapter reveals the reasons that Brooke and Haley were absence in each others' last four years. Enjoy.**

The car ride was accompanied again with silence. Neither girl knew what to say. And yes, they were still girls; they had their childhoods taken too soon that they were not prepared for the consequences of their future lives. Brooke slowly pulled into the Scott's driveway; she wasn't ready for the next step. She wasn't ready for walking back into that house and seeing him. Which him? In actuality both of them. Nathan had stolen her friend's beating, abundant heart. And Lucas. Well he was Lucas Scott, and anytime she was ever in a room with him, her own heart stopped just a little. There was something about him that always pulled her in, and most of the time she never wanted to let go. She could count on one hand the times she didn't break away though, knowing that she simply couldn't hold on to Lucas' dependency. The times where she never wanted to though, she had lost count.

Brooke turned off the engine, and she was expecting Haley to jump out and break down the door to Hell to see Nathan. But just as she didn't move when awaiting holding Jamie, she remained seated. Brooke had to put Haley's comments aside for now, and pretend they never existed. It was better anyways, and she broke the silence. "What's going on in that pretty mind of yours, Tutor Girl?" It was a nickname from high school, oh the idyllic times. Wait, high school was filled with heartbreak, death, and expulsion. Perfect events for a prime time television show, too overwhelming for real life. Regardless, high school brought Haley to Brooke, and those unforgettable moments were worth living through for that fact alone.

The nickname caught her off guard, "Tutor Girl?"

"Don't you remember?"

"How could I ever forget, Brooke? There was a while there that I thought you didn't know my real name."

"I always knew of Haley James, she was best friends with the mysterious Lucas Scott. There was so much wonderment in that relationship."

"I should probably relieve Lucas of his duties," she said with the sound of Lucas' name, yet she didn't move to follow her own words.

"It has only been an hour, Hales. It is just one small glimpse into your last four months."

"No one else should have to deal with my responsibility."

"So your tactics of babysitting Nathan is your responsibility. He is not a child. He should be responsible for his own actions. You were not the one pushing him through the glass at the bar. It was some asshole. If anyone should be watching Nathan steadily it should be him."

"Brooke you weren't here," Haley's breaking point was again met. "You weren't here when I got the call. Or when Nathan found out his prognosis. You weren't here when he came home. You might not think that it is my responsibility to watch over him, but you weren't here, you don't know."

It silenced Brooke, briefly. She pushed deep to overcome those words. Everything that Haley spoke was the truth. How could she possibly come in here and tell Haley what to do with her ailing husband. She was absent for over four years, and she had the audacity to think she knew anything? "I wish I was." Brooke wished she could have been with Haley when she got the phone call from Lucas so she could hold her. She wished she could be at Nathan's bedside with Haley as the prognosis of temporary paralysis was given. She wished she could have been there for Jamie, for Haley, and she wished she could have been there for Nathan. The person that she had seen was not Nathan Scott. Maybe it was the old former, the Nathan Scott that resided in Tree Hill before Haley James changed his life. But the man on the couch surrounded with beer bottles – that was not Nathan Scott. Maybe if she had been there he would still be. She didn't actually believe she had the astounding power to have altered the Scotts' past, but she had the guilt that she could have.

"You never came home, Brooke. We waited for you; we waited for almost five years."

"You never called. I thought you had moved on with your happy, fairy book ending story. I thought if you never called then I was not needed in your journey."

"You have always been part of the journey, Brooke. I would not be at this point if it wasn't for you. You set up our first date. Who knows where we would be if you didn't make me cry at Nathan's party. It was the first time that I saw your heart, and I have been in love with it ever since."

"Why didn't you call me then?"

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to disturb your life. You were off following your dreams, and you were so successful. You had a loving family. I mean every girl wants to have a wonderful husband and a baby, and you had that since high school. You didn't need anything else. I didn't want to intrude."

"I can't understand why you would think that you were unneeded? You weren't an accessory that you retire. And as far as I am concerned, you were part of this family. You were always welcome. And you still are."

Brooke still couldn't get over the fact that Haley never called. If Brooke had meant so much to her then why hadn't she picked up the phone in the last years to tell her she was missed. Brooke sure as hell missed Haley, but she had her reasons not to call. What was Haley's, "Then why didn't you call?" it was in pure desperation and emotion that Brooke questioned once more. It pained her, and she wanted to know the reason that Haley could tell her now how important she was, but never put those words into action. Brooke needed to hear those words, it would have given her the strength she needed. Instead she weakened and Victoria took advantage. And though Brooke wouldn't admit it, Haley was right. The old Brooke, she was gone.

Haley paused. She had wanted to call so many times, but she was afraid as well. Brooke had a multi-million dollar company, where was Haley's place in it all? Brooke didn't need her; she could have bought the world with her success. Haley was just a friend from high school; there was no place for her in Brooke's high class lifestyle. But she broke past all those thoughts, and one day, one day she did make the call, "I did."

"What? No, you never did. If you would have called me, I would have been back in Tree Hill on the next plane. You never called. Don't you think I would have remembered if you did, but not once did I get your call," she couldn't believe the words in which Haley was telling her.

"I called Brooke," she looked into Brooke's eyes so she could see the truth.

"Did I not pick up? Did you leave a message? Are you even sure it was number?"

"I know it was your number, Brooke. I called it. It took me a lot of built up courage, but I dialed those familiar numbers."

"Why did you need courage to call me? We were friends, it would have been ordinary."

"You are anything but ordinary, Brooke Davis. You are the owner of a multi-million dollar company. I was afraid that I had been replaced."

"So that is the reason you didn't call? You thought that I would have abandoned you once I had gained some success. What kind of friend did you think I was?"

"You didn't call either, Brooke," letting her know it was a two-sided struggle, "And you told me you were afraid to interrupt my life. You were never a disturbance; you were part of the embodiment of it all. And I did call. Why would I be lying about this?"

"Because I never got a call."

"Brooke, I have to tell you something."

"Please do, I mean the truth would be nice right now," she was evidently enthralled.

"I called you 6 months after you left for New York. I had heard in the news that your company was blossoming, and that you had achieved your ultimate goal. I was so proud of you. I knew from our dress making apartment days that one day you would have your own company, and it would hold a world of success for you. I wanted to congratulate you on something I always believed in. It had been six months, but I wanted to let you know that I could never forget about you," Haley looked over at Brooke who was taking in each word. "You didn't pick up," Brooke gave her a look as it was a palpable comment. "It rang so many times that I didn't think you would. I was thinking of the words in which I was going to leave. But someone answered after the last ring. It was a lady named Victoria."

Haley noticed Brooke's face drop in fear accompanied with pain, she slowly asked, "What did she say to you? Is she the reason you haven't called. Please tell me this is not happening." Brooke had enough hatred for Victoria before Haley revealed the truth, but she was sure she could find enough room for more. And it was strong possibility.

"She answered the phone, and she knew it was me because of your caller ID. She made some nasty comment about my choice of being a young mother and wife; I have since put it out of my head. But it hurt, Brooke, the words she chose to say. I remember getting off the phone and crumbling to the ground. Nathan found me and I couldn't even tell him what was wrong. That lady knew how to cut through my heart," Brooke silently acknowledged that she knew it too well. So many nights Brooke spent alone in her apartment in tears from Victoria's heart-cutting words.

"I am sorry for her words, Haley. I wish I had known."

"Your words now or then cannot repair the hole that Victoria put in me."

"What else did she say?"

"Are you sure you want to know, Brooke?"

"I need to know. I need to know what words that were used to keep us separated for so long. It must have been world splitting words, it had to. It broke everything we ever had. Please, I need to know."

"I shouldn't have listened to a stranger. I don't know why I believed her. I'm sorry that I believed her, Brooke," Haley's eyes told Brooke everything that she needed to know, but she wanted to hear the whole story.

"What did Victoria say, Haley?" she was becoming impatient. She had to know what Victoria said. Brooke wanted to know what kind of trickery Victoria had used on Haley. She had fallen for those words too many times. Victoria was to blame for the disappearance of the former Brooke Davis. And it was becoming evident that she was also to blame for the disappearance of Haley and Brooke's strong friendship.

She decided she just had to say it. The words had been with her for four years. When Brooke showed up at her doorstep, Haley was beyond surprised. It was her understanding that Brooke would be forever absent in her life. Well that is what Victoria had told her. Haley looked Brooke over once more; she knew there was something she was hiding. Ever since Victoria had been thrown into the equation, Brooke had tensed up. She was timid, and if Haley had never seen Brooke's strength before, she would have thought Brooke as weak. The readiness in Brooke's eyes reminded her that she had to start. "I should have hung up after she spoke to me. I hadn't called to talk to her, I wanted you. All I wanted was you. But her words were so strong and powerful, I had no control as I held on. I asked to speak with you. And here is where I bought into her lies," another pause to recall the vivid words Victoria had spoken to her. "Brooke, she told me you had died," again she looked at Brooke. But she didn't speak, she was shocked speechless. "I didn't believe her, but my heart was sinking with that thought. She admitted she had lied. So I again asked to speak to you. When she said no, I had had enough. My emotions were off the wall, I couldn't control them. I told her I was going to hang up and to tell you I had called. I was too afraid to call back; I never wanted to talk to this Victoria again. But she stopped me again. 'Ms. James' – she had to say it – she began. 'I wouldn't recommend you calling back. Brooke told me that if you were ever to call that I should make sure that young mother wouldn't be part of her life. It is not good for her image, and her company is the most important thing in her life. She doesn't need little high school friend screw-ups. I am sorry, but you are no longer wanted or welcome in Ms. Davis' life. And if you try and call back, I am sure you can speak to Brooke herself. But then again, I don't know how I would feel with someone telling me I was an unneeded distraction to my million dollar success. It would break my heart for you to have to hear that. So I would hang up the phone, Ms. James, tend to your children, and move on with your life. You are no longer a part of Brooke's.' I couldn't say anything after that. She stopped speaking. I dropped the phone and I crumbled to the ground."

Brooke couldn't believe that Victoria would go to the lengths of eliminating her friends from her life. If her intentions were to make sure Brooke was completely alone, and she had succeeded. She must have been damn believable if Haley had saw Victoria's words as the truth, Haley was the most intelligence person she knew, and she had been beguiled. And well Victoria was a bitch. Her emotions were confused; she was no longer upset, she was mad. No she was livid. She had all her own reasons for despising Victoria, but taking Haley away trumped all the rest. "That's my mother for you," she said it as the statement was nothing. She saw the open jaw on Haley's face, "Oh, you didn't know. My mother is a bitch, and her goal in life is to take everything away that makes me happy. Every single remote thing."

"What else, Brooke?" she was hoping that in her anger, Brooke would reveal her pain. Haley had missed four years, and it seemed like in those four years, Brooke needed her more than ever.

She looked at Haley, shaking her head, "Everything," and for now, that was enough. But it was more than Brooke ever wanted to admit. There was no stepping back from this though; her truth was slowly creeping out. And sure enough it would all be out in the open before the week's end. Brooke just wasn't aware of it yet.

"I'm sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't have believed her. I don't know why. You were one of my best friends, I was wrong to ever think you wanted me out of your life."

"I should be the one apologizing for believing that you didn't call. I was so hurt by your apparent lack of wanting a reunion, and I kept that anger with me for so long. I should have known that pain submittal was not in your character."

"Well I guess we both got our apologizes out there. Those four years are gone though, and unfortunately we cannot get them back. No matter how hard we long for them. We just have to start anew, and give this friendship thing another try. And we just got to trust that each other is here for the long haul, and nothing, or no one is going to separate us this time."

"I sure hope so. I missed you, Haley."

"I have to admit that everyday for about six months after I had spoken with Victoria, err, your mother, every time the phone rang, I thought it was you. But after awhile, I bought into her lie, and I gave up hope in you ever being on the other end of the line."

"Funny thing, for a while there, I thought you were on the other end of the line as well. Victoria finally got me to believe that you didn't care enough to call. And I have some how come to believe everything that has come out of her mouth."

"So she is to blame?"

"For what? Everything?"

"The pain in your eyes."

"I'm just tired. And if you see pain then it is because I have returned home to my friends in a state of melancholy."

"It was there before you knew anything about my life. When you entered my house, I saw it already. It was evident."

What was she supposed to say to this? She was running out of excuses, and she was so good at covering up. It was apparent that even with an absence in the friendship, Haley still knew how Brooke's heart breaks. Or it was just left present on her sleeve. Brooke knew that Haley wanted a response; she was looking at her in urgency for an answer. "I'm really fine," another lie came out of her mouth as easily as the truth.

"Well if this is fine, then I would hate to see you sad, it would be devastating."

Brooke looked away. Haley wasn't going to buy into her lies. This has never happened before. There has been no one in her last four years that has ever not bought into her lies. The words slipped out so easily that everyone believed it as truth. Why would Brooke Davis ever lie about her life? The people that surrounded Brooke in New York simply wanted to appease her. That was not Haley's intention.

"Brooke, I don't know what happened after you left Tree Hill, other than you had an amenity of success. That is all I know. But I don't know what has happened to the girl before multi-millions. I wonder about that girl."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not to a typical bystander, no, it is not that flagrant. But those people, they don't know you. The Brooke that sits beside me has success any girl would dream of, but the money could never cover up the sorrow that success has brought you."

"I would give it all up."

"What is holding you back?"

"It's not that easy, Haley. It is all I know, it is all I have," she was caught in her own palpable moment. This is exactly how Haley was feeling. It was much harder than Brooke even thought was possible for Haley to stop helping Nathan. He was all she had, and he was all she ever knew. She wouldn't know where to go from leaving him, how could she possibly move on without him? She shakes her head after her own statement, "I am sorry, Haley. I have no right to expect you to change your life because I see it as potentially dangerous in the long run. Like I said, it is all you know. And Nathan and Jamie are all you have. I should not try and take them away from you."

"Brooke, as hard as it is to walk away, you are right. This path, it is dangerous. I am losing touch with life, with people I care about, and I am losing touch with my course of living. Yes, it might be all I know. Nonetheless, like you said, I am going to have to dig even deeper, and I am going to try and break through this bleakness in my life. I know you have even more strength to do the same."

"I don't know."

"I miss your confidence."

"A lot of things are gone."

"Brooke if you are willing to help me through this morose point in my life, I will put everything into helping you find your own happiness."

"I'm always willing Haley."

"Are you willing though to try and salvage your former life?"

"I will get back to you on that one."

"Well, I am not giving up."

"Well, then there is one of us," she was sure she said it under her breath, but by the look on Haley's face, she knew it was said a little too loud.

Haley didn't know what to say anymore. Her friend was hurting and there was nothing she could say that could make it better. She was going to hold to her word, and when Brooke left Tree Hill she would have a smile on her face…the first real one in a while.

Brooke knew that Haley was trying to come up with something profound to say, but she was having difficulty. So she decided to do what she does best – put the spotlight on someone else's problems. "How do you think Nathan did with Lucas today?"

Haley wasn't ignorant enough to believe that Brooke was fine; she saw what Brooke's intention was. She was trying to take the attention away from her. It was something new for Haley to see Brooke avert attention away from her. In high school Brooke used all of her power to make sure she was the center of attention, but now she was shying away. Haley's new goal was to get to the center of Brooke's change in attitude; this version of Brooke had baggage that was pulling her down. For now she was going to play along with Brooke's game. It would not be a game that Haley could easily quit. She was going to win in the long run by saving Brooke from the person Victoria had changed her into it. "Well, there are two options. He was extremely pissed off, or he fell asleep."

"Maybe we should go see."

"Let's go," as the two got out of the car they soon realized how much had changed since they left earlier. More truths were revealed, and they were uneasy now. How was either supposed to help the other if they no longer felt comfortable being in each others' presence? Each step would bring another answer.

**AN: So there you go, it was damn Victoria. Coming up next is some pure drama, what has come of everyone since the girls left the house?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: So I wasn't exactly pleased with the writing of the next chapter, so I wanted to get some - what I believe is - better words for you out there. Always, I just want to warn you about the events of this chapter. It is semi-heartbreaking...as they need anymore. Enjoy.**

Haley opened the unlocked door and slowly walked to the living room, all of her fear had come back. She knew that Nathan would be livid for her leaving Lucas to babysit him. He hated it when Haley wouldn't leave him alone; imagine what would happen when she had his brother do the duty. She had to admit how wonderful it felt to be out of the house, and a sense of renewal had been experienced. But it was gone now. It was gone now when she saw Nathan. He had already taken so much away from her, but just being in his presence took away all of her strength. He was not sleeping. He wasn't yelling either. She looked over at Lucas and he was not pleased either. She wondered what had happened when she left, and did she leaving ruin all the progress she had made in the last several weeks?

When Lucas saw Haley he wondered where Brooke was. He expected her to be hand in hand with Haley helping her face the demons. But she was far behind. He was realizing – like the other members of Tree Hill – that something had brought Brooke home, and it wasn't to repair a family. It was to repair her heart. But once more, Haley needed to be at the forefront, and Brooke had to continue in the back seat. Lucas went to Haley; he simply had to hold her. He had been with Nathan for less than two hours and he could barely handle it. How in the world could Haley be put through this day after day? And how was she still walking? He saw her in a piece of clothing from Brooke's line, and she was hard to find. Now that he knew what just minutes with Nathan were like, he was going to make sure that Haley wouldn't anymore. He whispered into her ear, "I am so sorry, Hales."

Haley pulled away. Lucas's embrace wasn't going to heal anything. His arms felt warm, and they felt safe, but it wasn't enough. His arms were not going to be able to save her this time. She was going to face Nathan, and she was going to do it now.

But she wasn't given the opportunity, Lucas pulled her back, "We are leaving."

She was trying to break free, she couldn't just leave Nathan now, she had just gotten home, "Lucas, let go of me," she didn't understand why he was pulling her back when for the first time she had the strength to move forward.

He wasn't going to let her go back to him. He wasn't going to let her spend time with him. He wasn't going to let her put up with Nathan at all. "Haley, you are not staying here."

Lucas now was pulling Haley back by her waist, "I can't leave him alone," she didn't know how her emotions had returned, but they were back.

He didn't give her a chance, he lifted her up, and with her wailing he brought her past Brooke, and they left the house.

Brooke watched Lucas pull his best friend away from the situation. But she couldn't leave quite yet. She was going to do what Haley wasn't able to do. She was going to give Nathan his ultimatum.

She knew now why she was all alone in the world, without a friend or family member to hold her while she sobbed, or to put a smile on her face. She knew now that it was Victoria's divisive plan in which she had succeeded. Brooke was not going to let Nathan be the reason Haley experienced the same outcome. Haley wasn't going to be another statistic of a broken marriage. She was more than a statistic. She was Haley James Scott.

Brooke walked over to see Nathan lounging on the couch, beer cans surrounded him. It was before lunch and he was already at it. How did he have access to all of this alcohol, all of this poison? It was the only thing keeping him going from day to day, and Brooke realized it had to be Haley. All she was trying to do was to appease him, in the hopes that if he was appeased he would want her around. She feared that she was unwanted. Isn't that everyone's fear? He eyed her up, she felt disgusted. He disgusted her, "You are pathetic, you know that, right?"

"Lucas should have dragged you out of here like he did Haley. For once I am thankful for having him around."

Brooke was directly in front of him now, and she wasn't going to hold back. "So that is what you wanted? For Haley to be out of the picture?"

"I don't need her babying me."

"Well, I don't see you being able to do anything other than sleep and drink. And I'm sure that is all babies do as well. So I would side with Haley in this case."

"You are always going to side with Haley; it is that female bonding thing."

"It is because you are wrong, that is why I am siding with Haley. If I thought she was wrong then I would be siding with you."

"Oh, I feel so honored that you would side with me."

"You should feel honored; I would be the only one of your side."

"I don't need anyone on my side. I don't need anyone."

"Are you so sure about that?"

"I am positive."

"Okay, well than you can live with no one. You will have no one."

"Fine. I will finally have what I have wanted the last past months," it was hard for Brooke to hear that after she had seen Haley tremble as she had described the last four months of hell. And Nathan was just writing her off as his pain had been the only one.

"How many beer cans do you have left there, Nathan?"

"Why does that matter to you? Want one? I remember how you would drown your own sorrows in alcohol in high school. Lucas doesn't love me. My mommy and daddy don't love me. I remember your story, Brooke," he tossed her a beer.

His statement was factious, and as much as it hurt, it wasn't false. Her response to her gloom was alcohol, and now Nathan was using the same methods. She opened the beer, and took a big gulp. Brooke couldn't remember the last time she had had some, Victoria told her it was bad for her image, and her figure. As much as she didn't want to admit it, it tasted good. She was sure it wasn't for the actual flavor, but just how easily it could erase any pain she was experiencing. And there was a lot to cover up.

"There we go, the old Brooke Davis. You are the best company yet. Down that thing. You know what? I will even join you," he cracked open another beer.

All of her inhibitions and intentions were gone, and as with the reminder of an easily accessible pain eraser, she finished the yeast drink. For the last four years she felt as if she was out of control, and for the first time in a while, she was sure she held her own reigns.

Three beers later, she was already regretting it. Since high school she had been a light weight, that and her uncharacteristic binge had brought Brooke into her own drunken stupor, "You are an asshole, you know that," it was her thoughts, but not in the approach she had previously intended.

"I know it."

"Then why don't you change."

"Beer makes the world go round."

"It sure does," she says rising her can. "You don't deserve Haley," she was sure she said Haley, but the name came out as a slur.

"I probably don't. Not anymore."

"Then let her go."

"She is the one holding on."

"Very true," she agreed, "very true. What about Jamie?" oh that boy made her feel so guilty for drinking with his father right now. That boy would make her experience millions of emotions.

"I am Dan's son."

"But you are Jamie's father," a little Star Wars pronunciation caused her to giggle. She said it again, "Fajah."

"Haley and Jamie would be better without me."

"What about you?"

"Are you offering keeping me company," he put an arm around her.

She was brought back into reality. What the hell was she doing? What the hell was she thinking? Brooke pulled away from Nathan, "I need to go," she was up quickly trying to gather her things.

"You're drunk," he was trying to get her to stay.

"Not anymore," she said adamantly. Nathan's advance brought her out of her drunken stage. She painfully remembered why she quit drinking – other than Victoria's vicious comments – it hurt too much when your high was gone, and you went crashing to the ground. The ground was cold, it was hard, and you were all alone.

"Brooke," Nathan tried again to no prevail.

She turned around, and did what her previous intention had been, "Nathan. You have gotten what you wanted. You are alone. When you are ready to try to repair what is left with your marriage, and what is left of the broken outline of your former wife, you call me. If not, you can stay in the house, I am sure you will run out of beer. At that point you have two options, drown yourself in your own, pathetic misery. Or you can try and put your act together. Shave your face, take a shower, and see if you can salvage the damage you have done. The choice is yours, take all the time you need. It is all that you have right now." Her job was done, but it was filled with a guilt-ridden mistake.

As Brooke was walking out the door, Nathan shouted to her, "It is better alone."

"No, its not," Brooke said to herself alone. The words hurt worst when you are alone.

She tried to get the key to go into the keyhole, but her hands were shaking and they fell to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up her world went spinning. With a heavy sigh she picked up her pretty head and managed to open the door. Once inside, she looked in the mirror, how did a girl who betrayed her best friend look? Now she knew. How did the harrowing image of a little girl lost look? Brooke Davis was the poster child. Next she did something she was an expert at, she put on a face, composed herself and backed out of the driveway. At first she wasn't sure where she was going to go. Could she really face Haley right now? But without much choice, she drove herself back to Lucas' house.

Once she stepped out of the car, her damaging drunkenness had returned. She wasn't sure how she was able to drive home. Again, it was just three beers, but it was three more than her tiny body had had in a long while. And it was three beers too many.

She stumbled to the door that was attached to the kitchen. Lucas' door was no longer an option, she was still a stranger to this town, and she was still a stranger to Lucas' current life. That door was not meant for her – not anymore.

The door slammed louder than she had anticipated, and she closed her eyes to attempt to cover up the pain her pounding head was experiencing. "Sorry," she said to an empty kitchen. "Haley," she called, actually she shouted, "Haley, where are you?"

The person that came to her beckoning was not Haley, but another important female in Lucas' new life – Lindsey. She was in the room with Lucas and Haley, and had heard a loud entrance. She was the most probable person in the moment to see what was the ruckus was about. Lindsey was thoroughly surprised to see Brooke. She had expected her, but not like this. Not drunk.

"You're not Haley," Brooke bluntly pointed out, "Haley," she shouted again.

Lindsey quickly ended her shouting, by covering Brooke's mouth, and taking grip of her arm as she opened the door Brooke had just entered.

Brooke broke away, she did not like when she was not in control. Wait, that was always, the exception being when she was intoxicated. "Hey, what do you think you are doing? I wanted to talk to Haley."

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I told you, I want to talk to Haley," she slowed her speech as to help Lindsey understand. It didn't work, Lindsey already knew.

"You are drunk. You are drunk, I cannot believe this."

"I am not drunk," another lie slipped from her lips. At least this time she had a reason.

"Okay, then what are you? Because you are obviously not stable."

"I am so," in actuality having to stand was weakening her balance, and she leaned up against her car and slid to the floor.

Lindsey was livid at this point, she was almost distraught, she could not believe that Brooke would walk into her house after drinking and talk to the person with the alcoholic spouse, "Really sensitive, Brooke. Did you think that Haley wouldn't notice your stupor? I mean her husband is an alcoholic, and you walk in reeking of cheap beer."

"I am pretty sure you bought the cheap beer," it was true. And as much as she hated contributing to Nathan's alcoholism, Haley insisted that Lindsey bought it for him when she bought the groceries. She didn't understand, but the desperation in Haley's voice put her over the edge. Whatever Haley wanted, that was what she was going to do.

"So you were drinking with Nathan, you playing both sides now?"

"Hey Missy," she was pointing a finger at Lindsey now, "he is hurting too."

"It was pretty evident earlier that you wanted Nathan to suffer from the pain Haley has accumulated. Now you are drinking buddies with her supplier?"

"You don't get it."

"What is there to get, Brooke? Haley had to be physically removed from her home to ensure her safety. And instead of following her here, you opted to stay with her harm. How do you think she feels?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know how she feels? I am not inside that head of hers," she tapped her own head to exemplify.

Lindsey wished she knew the answer to her own question. She was trying so hard, but it was so difficult to watch a friend digress and not to be able to do anything about it. She joined Brooke on the ground, the tempo had obviously changed. "Brooke, I just don't understand."

"What is to understand?"

"Instead of being here with Haley, you stayed and drank with Nathan, just adding to the insult of it all."

"I know why he does it."

"Does what? She wasn't sure what Brooke was getting at.

"I know why he drinks."

"We all know why he drinks, Brooke. He is using it to fire his anger. He is using it as a way to avoid what has happened. He is trying to cover up his pain with another poison."

"It doesn't cover it up, it takes it all away. It just takes it all away," tears escaped from her eyes. She knew that Lindsey had reason to be upset with her. Haley needed her, but she needed her pain to be stripped from her. And for once in a long while, she had put herself first.

Realization was breaking through, "So you weren't picking sides, you just needed your pain to be taken away too?"

She didn't want Lindsey to get it, even attempt to try and find Brooke's pain beneath her eyes, but her inhibitions were shot due to her poison of choice. "I just want it all taken away," and the flood gates were broken. Gut retching sobs took over her body. She wasn't sure when Lindsey had encompassed her in embrace, but she found herself safely held.

All Lindsey knew of Brooke yesterday was that she was a famous clothes designer, who was once a girlfriend of Lucas'. Well she was also half of Lucas's novel, but that was just words. She knew of Brooke. That was the bottom line. But as she held onto the girl, she began to know more than simple words would give her. As she held Brooke, she knew everything. And she felt sorry for the fashionista.

Brooke was sure that almost anyone's arms would be reassuring to be around her at this moment – well not anyone's. But Lindsey's were warm; it was another affirmation of Lucas' success in picking a life partner. Another realization hit Brooke just the same, not many people in her life would be willing to engulf her in a time of desperate sorrow. She was lucky that Lindsey was not one of those people. She picked the right driveway to break down in.

She didn't want to let go, or be let go of, but it was time, and someone had broken the silence, "What happened?" It was Lucas. He was always trying to rescue the women in his life.

Brooke quickly jutted from Lindsey, profusely wiping her tears. The last time Lucas had seen her tears was at Haley and Nathan's wedding, when she was desperately asking him to hold on to her, because she was slipping away. She was a different person then, but one in the same. All she ever wanted was for someone to want her back.

Lindsey knew that Brooke would not want to speak of her breakdown, especially in Lucas' presence, so she averted his question, "How is Haley?"

He was getting the gist of what was taking place – avoidance; girls seemed to do it so well. "She finally fell asleep. She finally gave up. I think she was just simply exhausted; there was no way she got a good night's sleep in that house."

Brooke averted her eyes, so that Lucas could not look into them. She had realized in the last 24 hours how vulnerable her eyes were – they told everything. And she had no control over covering them up. No amount of makeup would ever do justice.

Lucas was exhausted himself from the day's events, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet. It took everything he had not to give into Haley's pleas. She was his best friend, he always wanted her happy, she was not happy being pulled away. But he was willing to take one moment of unhappiness compared to the longevity that she was experiencing. He had to admit that he was not expecting to find Brooke Davis sobbing in his fiancée's arms. Nonetheless, he should have realized that it was just another element of unexpectant events in his life. It was just another day.

Lindsey got up and extended a hand to Brooke – she needed all of the support she could get at the moment. When Brooke rose, her head was throbbing causing her instability – just what she needed, more unstable steps. Lindsey quickly supported her because she foresaw the course of Brooke's downfall, and it was straight to the ground. "Lucas, do you think you can get the door," she asked, not saying anything else or bringing to attention that Brooke's instability was due to her intoxication. Lucas would be livid. Hell, she was livid at first. But she knew the truth now, and Lucas didn't.

He couldn't pry, he just couldn't do it. Not now. He trusted Lindsey, he even trusted her with his old friend. If she did not want the topic to be brought to the table currently, she had legitimate reasons. So he did the only thing he could, he opened the door, and watched as his fiancée placed an arm around Brooke's waist, and led her into their kitchen.

She was grateful for Lindsey's help, and her silence on the situation. She wasn't sure she deserved it, but she was going to take this freebie. Lucas stood at the door, she knew he was perplexed, and his face was pictured in concern. Brooke wasn't sure if it was for her or if it was for Haley, or if it was in fact permanent. There was a lot of concern to go around. She again looked away, she had to look away. There was so much in Lucas' eyes, so much that she couldn't have, she couldn't look into his eyes. She turned her attention to Lindsey; she was getting Brooke a glass of water. A soft spoken, "Thanks," brushed Brooke's lips.

The silence in the room was unbearable at this point. Brooke finger lined the top of the cup. Lucas was still situated at the door, leaning against the frame, and Lindsey had pulled up a chair across from Brooke. She was looking for an opportunity to jump for any reason at all. It was just too much, too much for these young adults to handle.

Brooke stood up, and as she did, both Lucas and Lindsey jumped as to help a fallen comrade. It was just Brooke, and she was no soldier, not anymore, she had the battle scars to prove it. She noticed the attentiveness of the duo, "Is she in Karen's room?" It was all she wanted to know.

Lucas gave her the answer she wanted, "Yes." And Lucas had to cement his feet to the ground so he wouldn't follow after her. He looked at Lindsey hoping for an answer or a glimpse of what was happening. But she wasn't going to intrude on her privacy, and he wasn't going to make her. They embraced, they just held each other. The magnitude of their love would help them survive this; they just had to make sure that their friends were survivors as well.

Her hand quivered as she placed it on the door knob. She was fearful for what was on the other side of the door she held. Haley, her Haley, was suffering unbearable pain, and it did not appear she could help her. Not anymore. Why couldn't she help her? A deep breath would only get her so far, so she took an extra deep one, and braved what was on the other side.

Haley was so small in the queen sized bed, Brooke almost missed her. But her fuchsia shirt made her stand out. Her makeup had streamed down her face – she wasn't there but she imagined that it would be incredibly hard to deal with losing your spouse. Hair strands covered her beautiful, angelic face. Brooke was lost in her own thoughts and the image of Haley, her Haley. All she wanted to do was hold her, so she would know that someone was willing – no matter what. So Brooke gently got into the bed, and she held Haley. She put her arms around her, and she had no intention of letting go – not ever.

Sorrow took much exhaustion out of a person. Imagine two concurrent tragedies, it took even more. It was hard to sleep on a normal basis when incomplete details of the future lingered. Their bodies were shocked with this extended slumber, but held on, as if this would be the only opportunity to mend their souls. For if it was, Brooke was not going to lose their only chance.

**AN: So what did you think? I really would like to know your opinion on the events of this chapter. Haley being extracted from her home and her situation. Brooke getting drunk, the girl is simply confused. Lindsey's place in it all. I hope you don't think this is too much drama for one small town. I promise that there will be happiness...it might just take awhile. So in the meantime, please let me know how it is going for you. Thanks. Peace.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So this chapter is a combination of emotions, from cutesy to angsty. A lot will be revealed at chapter's end - my longest one yet.**

"Can I wake them?"

"Let them sleep."

"How long have they been sleeping?"

"For awhile."

"Then can I wake them?"

"Jamie, sometimes adults just need to sleep."

"Like a nap?"

"Yes, like a nap," Lindsey informed her soon to be nephew. A small smile came across her face. That boy did wonders on people's expressions; he gave away smiles for free.

"When can I wake them up from their naps?" He was not giving up, Jamie was one persistent little boy.

"You already did, you kook," Haley revealed opening her eyes. She soon realized that it was easier said than done, her eyes were swollen from her tears – just something else to add to the list of grievances for Nathan.

"Momma!" Jamie was happy to see his mother awake.

And Haley was glad to see his excitement; she feared that she had broken his heart as she walked away earlier. Her boy was resilient though, after all he was James Lucas Scott.

Brooke had opened her eyes as well, but she did not speak.

Hands were so comfortably encasing Haley that she didn't even notice Brooke's presence, she just accepted the warmth. Jamie jumped between the duo, breaking the embrace.

Haley grabbed onto him, as if she had never held him before, and starting tickling him.

"Aunt Brooke, help me," it brought her back to the current reality, the giggling boy cried out for relief.

Everything changes for him, and it did, "Help you…get more tickles?" as Brooke joined Haley in contributing to Jamie's laughter.

His attempts to break from the tickling duo were to no prevail, but he didn't seem to mind. There was a smile on his mom's face, and he had not seen one of those in a long time. He was afraid she had lost it, or that his dad had taken it away.

Lindsey watched it all from the doorway. She was the only one currently pained by the picture in front of her. It scared her that Brooke and Haley were able to turn on their façades so easily, as if it was connected to a switch. The smiles on their faces were only temporary, and a lapse in happiness would not rid the immensity of pain underneath the grins.

The tickling duo grew tired and let the little boy become free from their fingers; they all laid back on the bed, slightly exhausted from the excursion.

Once he got his breath back, "Momma, Uncle Lucas said that we were staying here for awhile. Are we really?"

Lindsey watched as Haley crumbled under her façade. "Just until Daddy feels better, Buddy," that was the deal. Or at least that was her deal, the only one she would agree to.

"I didn't know he was sick. I just thought that he was mad."

"It is a different kind of sickness, Jamie," Brooke broke in. She looked at Jamie as she spoke, but caught a glimpse of Haley's expression. Haley was taking all of the strength she had left from this weakening day to remain calm for Jamie. But inside, she was screaming, and she was breaking even more.

"So Daddy is going to get better?" If only the answer to the boy's inquiry was that simple. If only someone knew the answer.

Someone had to pretend. They had to pretend for Jamie, and someone had to pretend for Haley. She had to know it was going to be worthwhile, or she was not going to be willing to fight anymore. "Have you ever been sick before, Buddy?"

"This one time I was really, really itchy, Momma made me wear oven mitts on my hands so I wouldn't itch. I couldn't go to preschool. I think it was called Chicken's Socks."

Brief laughter filled the room, there was some things that couldn't possible be left alone, "Chicken Pox, Honey," Haley had to correct him.

"Isn't that what I said?"

"No you thought your chicken had some socks."

"Oh, I don't think they can wear socks anyways."

"Me either, Buddy."

"Well, you don't have any chicken's socks now do you?" Brooke asked him.

"Of course not, Aunt Brooke," he had to giggle again.

"Soon your dad won't have any chicken's socks either," it was the best way she could describe it for a five year old. She just hoped that Haley accepted the juvenile response. Nathan may be sick right now, but it wasn't going to last for ever. Brooke just had to accept it as the truth, because if it wasn't, there was no saying how their world would end up.

"Well, if Daddy gets better will you get better too, Momma?" Another heartbreaking answer goes to little Jamie Scott.

"I'm not sick, Buddy," Haley informed her son, but everyone in the room knew that Haley was sickened by her own type of agony, even a five year old could see through Haley's lies. She was going to have to take lessons from Brooke if she wanted anyone to ever believe her.

"Not Daddy sick, but sad sick," trying to clarify.

"I don't think being sad is a sickness, Jamie."

"When people are sick they are different. When I had the chicken pox, I couldn't go to school. Daddy is sick and he can't say nice things. And you are sick because you can't smile," the intelligence beyond his years broke Haley's heart. For all those wondering if it was possible, Jamie's last statement just proved the durability of Haley's heart was diminishing.

How could see lie to her son? How could see lie again? He knew her better than anyone, she had to be careful with what she elected to say to him, "You make me smile, Baby, can't you be my medicine?"

"He can't, Haley," Brooke spoke; she had to be the voice of reason.

And Haley had to accept it. "What about ice cream?" Jamie asked.

"What about it, Buddy?" Haley wondered.

"Ice cream makes me happy, maybe it is the medicine you need," if life could only rely on a five year olds fixtures of happiness.

"We might just have to try, Jamie," Brooke played along with his godson.

"Momma lets go get ice cream," he tried to pull her out of the bed.

"I don't think ice cream is what I need right now."

"Well if you can tell us what you would rather have, but if not we are going to get some ice cream, my friend," helping Jamie pull his mother up.

Lindsey was still an eyewitness to it all. Haley was breaking; the glue that she had attached to her façade was cracking. Brooke's was strong and managing to support it all.

Haley didn't want to leave the house. If she couldn't be with Nathan, she certainly did not want to be out and about around Tree Hill when he was miserable. No amount of makeup or expensive clothes would cover up her pain or her disarray. And for the first time in four months she was starting to give up.

"Buddy, I'm tired. Maybe your Aunt Brooke can take you."

"You just got up."

"I know, but it wasn't enough. You go get your ice cream; I will just go to sleep."

"No," it was definitive and affirmative.

"What?"

"I said no, that is not an option," Brooke put her foot down. She was going up to bat again, she was going to try and reel in some of Haley's happiness. She was not going to let Haley sink into a depressive state of unconsciousness. If she left her alone to sleep, she knew that she would be falling into that coma. Brooke wasn't sure if once she fell she would ever be able to wake up her. And that she could not have stay on her consciousness.

"Brooke, I am tired, that's all. Please just let me sleep."

"No," there was that word again.

"C'mon, Momma, Aunt Brooke will even buy you as much ice cream as you want."

"Is that true? What happens if I want one hundred scoops," she didn't know about Jamie's attempt at hundred the night before.

"She will buy it," Jamie smiled, "you just might not be able to finish it before it turns into soup," as he recalled last night's experience.

Haley looked at Brooke giving her an 'I cannot believe you bought my son that much ice cream' look, but she appreciated Brooke's willingness.

"But if your momma wants to try, you have to help her Jamie."

"Of course, how many did I have last night again?"

"I think you managed three, three out of a hundred," she had to smile as she recalled Jamie's vigor attempt at shoving his mouth with chocolate ice cream before he cried out in pain from brain freeze.

Jamie acknowledged Lindsey's presence, since the other two had forgotten, "You coming too, Aunt Lindsey," he was already accustomed to her presence in his life.

"I don't know, Buddy. I haven't had dinner yet." It was as time had been forgotten.

Brooke and Haley hadn't realized it, but thought that one day's dinner could be ruined, "I think that's okay. There are no parents around," Brooke announced. The second she said it she knew it carried some weight with Lindsey. Was it the ice cream or the word parents? Wait, Haley was a parent, thought all Brooke could see her as now as in need.

"Aunt Brooke will pay for you too," its was Jamie's attempt, and Brooke was wondering if she was going to have to buy ice cream for all of Tree Hill at the end of his pleas. If she did, it would be money well spent.

"Oh, you have a nice aunt there, Jamie, don't you?"

"I have only known her since yesterday," no one would have imagined the longevity of one day, "but I'm glad she is my aunt, and my godmother."

"Because I buy you ice cream?" Brooke wondered.

"No, well yes, you can buy me ice cream anytime you want. I would give up the ice cream though, and I would still like you. You are helping my momma be happy again. And more than all the ice cream in the world, I just want her happy. It makes me sad when she is sad," he said as she wasn't in the room.

"Well I am going to try really hard to make that happen. But I am going to need your help. And your Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Lucas. Do you think you can help me?"

Haley wanted to shout that she was hearing everything, and she did not like to be ignored. But she knew Brooke had a purpose in all of it, and her purposes were normally worth the while.

"What do I have to do?" he was in, anything to help his mom.

"Well first you have to give her a hug and tell her how much you love her," and he proceeded, holding on to his mom as tight as he possibly could. When Brooke heard Jamie's affectionate phrase towards Haley, she was ready to give Jamie his next task. "You ready for the next one?" Jamie's heading bobbed up and down profusely, he was ready for anything, "You take this card and you buy your momma as much ice cream as she wants." He didn't want to ask, "and you too, Little Man. You, your momma, and your Uncle Lucas. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"What about you and Aunt Lindsey?"

"Don't worry about us, Buddy. I need to make sure that you can help me out though."

"Uncle Lucas is going to have to drive, because I am only five," he held up five fingers.

"That is okay with me," she gave Jamie the card and a smile.

"Jamie, maybe I should hold onto that," Haley suggested.

"I promise I won't lose it, Aunt Brooke," he said holding on to it tightly so his mother wouldn't take it away from him.

"I trust you, you are the man of your family while your Daddy is sick," she hoped it was not too much responsibility for the little boy. But it was apparent to Jamie it was not.

He grabbed Haley's hand, and helped her to her feet. Her eyes were still swollen, and as much as she wanted to close them up again, she let her son pull her towards the door passing Brooke and Lindsey as she went. She mouthed a thank you to Brooke, and put a reassuring hand on Lindsey's shoulder and the two Scotts were out of Karen's old room.

Brooke had her back to Lindsey, but she knew that she had to confront her. It was the reason she sent Haley and Jamie away with Lucas. She had to do this now, before it got too far. What Lindsey had seen was a lapse in her consciousness, and her creed of excellence in pretense was going to be put to the test. She took a deep breath and turned to speak with her savior, "Lindsey, what happened earlier…" as it was going to be that easy.

Lindsey did not accept one word. Brooke's elaborate explanation of her breakdown was to sum it up: shit. One of her New York people may have fallen for her Oscar worthy speech, but Lindsey was an expert in selecting the right words. And Brooke's words were not them. "Were you an actress in high school?"

An actress? Where was Lindsey taking this? Wait a second, did she actually not believe what she had just said. No one has ever not believed her. After all she was Brooke Davis, and she was the face of pure happiness. "I was a cheerleader, and class president, what does my extracurriculars have to do with anything?"

"Your words are pretty believable."

"I sure hope so, it was the truth." The look on Lindsey's face read bullshit, Brooke Davis. "You don't believe me?"

"Not one word of your made up story."

"It is not a story, it is the truth. My truth."

"It may have been founded in some of your truths, but it is not the whole story."

"You don't know a damn thing about my life," she was becoming defensive; she never had to secure herself before.

"Not this life. But I know about who you were."

"Oh from Luke's book? Those were just words from a lifetime ago."

"When you were happy?"

"I was never happy," it came out; it was Lindsey's plan all along, to make her angry enough to break down, and break through the mold.

"It sure looked like it. You were head cheerleader, school president, beautiful, you could get any boy you ever wanted…"

"Stop it, just stop it. High school is over. Why must we linger on it?"

"What can't you be honest?"

"With you? You seem like a really great person, to Luke, to Haley and Jamie. But I just met you yesterday, I really don't think you have the audacity to expect me to be honest with you," her hand quivered as she spoke. She was weak. She was always weak.

"You are right, and I don't expect you to be honest with me. But it would be nice if you started being honest with yourself," breaking through, the encasement was slipping.

Who the hell was this person before her? Why wasn't she just letting her be? She was not going to take it from someone that she met yesterday. She had known herself for 22 years and she had yet to be truthful, why would Lindsey be the exception? Brooke started to walk towards the door, she didn't know where she was going, but it was out of the room.

"Another thing you are walking away from?"

A sharp arrow through the back stopped her forward moment. Damn, she was good. She turned around to face her, the speaker of truth, her truth. "What do you want? What is it that you are trying to do?"

"I am just trying to help."

"I don't recall asking for any."

"I don't think Haley did either."

"Wait, are you jealous or something? I am trying to mend Haley after a long absence, and you are jealous about how easy she let me back in?"

"Not at all. I thought we went over this earlier. Haley is my friend, and if anyone can repair her, I will be forever grateful for that person. Yes, I would have liked to have broken through, but I couldn't, I just can't seem to do it. You can, and you must have some special gifts. But I do not envy you, it is an earth crushing undertaking that you must only be strong enough to bear," she watched as Brooke took in her every word, thinking of the perfect counter.

"Then why won't you just let it be. Why won't you just let me be?"

"Because I am not going to let you end up like Haley."

"We are in two completely different worlds."

"There is only one world, Brooke."

"Then why do I feel like I am in my own?"

"You tell me, Brooke. Why are your and Haley's worlds so different?"

"She has a reason to fight," and Brooke didn't. Haley had a family, a reason to keep going regardless of the hell she was adversely facing. Brooke had no one. She had no reason. No reason to fight.

It was the truth, and Lindsey knew it. The words spoken from Brooke's mouth were factual. What happens when the truth gets out? The whole world changes, no matter which one you are living in.

The weight was too much for Brooke, she sat back down on the bed. She looked to Lindsey, her eyes concentrated on her. She had never seen eyes like those, and she had never seen them looking back at her. With their eyes locked, Lindsey sat next to Brooke.

"I only met you yesterday," and it seemed that she already knew more than anyone.

"That was a long time ago," she grabbed Brooke's hand.

"I don't understand."

"There is nothing to understand, Brooke. I can see the pain in your eyes."

"No one ever has."

"I don't know how they missed it; it is as present as your eye color, Brooke."

"No one has really looked," she had to admit.

"It is a shame; I have no doubt in my mind that the girl beneath the pain is worth the look."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Why not, Brooke?"

"If this girl you speak of was so great, so worthy, then someone would have pulled back the curtain already. The grand reveal has yet to occur."

"They weren't the right audience."

"Because it doesn't exist."

"What about Haley? Or Lucas? Even Nathan? What about them? Don't you think they deserve the real Brooke Davis?"

"They have never had a problem with me before."

"You don't get it, Brooke."

"That is what I am trying to tell you, I do not get the point of all of it. All of this. Haley, and Lucas, and Nathan accepted me in high school as I was. And for the most part they have allowed me back in."

"Obligatory."

Brooke was beginning to despise Lindsey's words. Her former high school friends felt obligated to allow her back in? If that is how they felt, she had no problem leaving them alone, they could withdraw their obligations. "I can leave."

"That is what you want."

"How do you know what I want, Lindsey?"

"It is written across your face, in your eyes."

"I really wish that I was blind right now."

"You are."

"Umm, I think you are losing it, two eyes;" pointing to her eyes, "perfect sight. It is one of the only things I can thank my life givers for."

"It is figurative blindness, Brooke. Physically your sight may be perfect, but the spectrum you are viewing the world is shot. You can't see clearly. You don't see it at all."

"What am I missing, due to this blindness," she used Lindsey's perception, wanting to know where she could take this.

"You are missing your life. It keeps going by, day by day, but you are not in it."

She was sure now that Lindsey was on crack, she must have obtained some pharmaceuticals while she was sleeping. "So where was I, Lindsey, when my life was floating along," her hands imitated motion, and she was just waiting for Lindsey's explanation. It was going to be good.

"Well your body was there, but you, you were mentally absent."

"Oh, so who was my body double? Megan Fox? She has a damn good body."

Lindsey's realization hit her. Brooke was taking it as a mockery. It was her life. But Lindsey was not going to sit back and let it fall apart. If she couldn't help Haley, she was going to try to save Brooke. It would do Haley only harm to gain her family back but lose her friend in the process. She needed both, and Lindsey was going to make sure that the latter stayed in the picture. "Stop it, just stop it."

This brought Brooke's back down from her outcry of charade. She was silenced by the presence in Lindsey's voice. She had to apologize, she didn't know for what, but she was sure Lindsey deserved it, "I'm sorry."

She didn't think she did, "Brooke, you don't need to apologize. I just want you to listen, really listen. Maybe all my mumbo jumbo wasn't getting through. But I will give you the straight forward facts. I don't know what is wrong; I do not know why you are sad. You have been pained by something. But it shouldn't have changed who you are, or were. It has. And you have come home to try to gather your former life. You just didn't expect to come home to disarray. But you have. And Haley needs you, and you have dropped everything. It is apparent that it is a common occurrence in your life. You put your needs aside the second another's arise. Haley's has, so it is an excuse to ignore what is killing you inside," Brooke was listening to each and every word, holding on to them for dear life. "And you are a good friend to Haley for putting her first. Someone has to do it. But what happens when she recovers from this? And she will. What happens when happiness creeps back in her life, and she wants to share it with you? Are you going to be okay? Or are you going to be gone? Leaving her life once again, how many years will it be next time?"

"That is not fair. I have my reasons for being away. I thought that Haley didn't want me in her life. I thought that with her happy life, I had been omitted."

"But you came back."

"It took all the courage I had."

"I commend you."

"It took four damn years. Four damn years that I cannot have back. Four years I did not have to watch Jamie grow up, or be a friend that Haley needed. Four years that is gone, four years that I should have had."

"You have the rest of your life."

"I don't trust time, look where it has gotten me."

"Your past has got to be forgotten to have any hope of a future."

"It is always with me. It is why I am like this; it is why I am who I am."

"Brooke, the person you are now is not a bad one."

"My friend is gone, just the outline of her self is present."

"Who is to say if you had been here the outcome would have been any different."

"Who's to say it couldn't."

"You cannot blame yourself, Brooke, for what happened. And there you go again, putting your needs aside once more. You have to stop for a second and think about what you need."

"I need my friend to be okay, I need Haley."

"Don't you have faith that she will be? I do."

"Faith can only get you so far. And I don't think I believe in it anyways."

"Why not?"

"I had faith that I would get everything I ever wanted."

"You did."

"I got most of it. I got my company. I got my success. But I was never able to get the one thing I ever wanted, more than fame and prosperity."

"What are you missing, Brooke?"

Was it time for reveal? She was words away from it being out in the open, her reason for living her life this way, her unhappy ending at only age 22. She tensed up, she could not do it. Not yet. "I can't do this."

"Are you ever going to be ready to address your demons?"

"I don't know if I will ever be strong enough."

"If you do not believe that you ever will, how do you expect to live happily?"

"Oh, I am, look at this face," her patented Brooke Davis smile plastered her face.

"All I see is a scared little girl trying to be brave."

"I have to be brave. I have to be brave for Haley. If I am not brave, then Jamie is going to grow up with out both of his parents. And he deserved to be loved."

"So do you," maybe she knew all along, the words didn't need to grace Brooke's lips.

How did she know? How could she possibly know that all she ever wanted was to be loved? Just to be loved.

Lindsey took Brooke's silence as an opportunity to drive her point home. "Brooke, Haley is going to get better. I believe it," the roles seemed to have been reversed. "I know you are afraid she isn't, but she has something now she hasn't had before. And that is you. She has you. So I know that the prognosis is not paralysis. Nathan will walk again, and he will repair Haley's psyche and smile. But when things are looking up, and she walks confidently with the future in her reach, she is going to be reaching out for her best friend. It would be a damn shame for you not to be there. Your heart can be healed as well. Haley's heart once shone so bright it covered the parameters of Tree Hill. When it is beating once more, and it will, she will come looking for her best friend in the shadow of her own demons. It would be a damn shame if you stayed in the shadows."

When she looked up silent tears had escapes her eyelids. Lindsey was dead on; Brooke had lived in the shadows her entire life. There was always something to hide behind, whether it was Lucas Scott or a multimillion dollar company, the shadows were vast. Sometimes she even became lost in it all. And sometimes she came to realize it was what she wanted all along. Brooke was lost in Lindsey's words. Her words had purpose, and they made more sense than her own. She couldn't heal Haley if she was too broken herself to carry on. Brooke knew she had to do something to ensure Haley's return to her former self. After all it was always going to be about Haley, "Only for her."

Lindsey was shocked that even through Brooke's brokenness her focus was still on Haley. It was going to be a potentially impossible task to break through. She knew that she was not going to be that person. She just had to hold on long enough until she was ready. Lindsey would wait until Haley's strength returned, but until then she was going to ensure Haley did not lose another part of her past. Brooke was right, it was always with the individual. No matter what you do, your past is always there. The only way to let go was to forget, and that was a travesty in itself.

Brooke wiped her silent tears away from her pretty face. Brooke Davis does not cry, and she let the dam break twice. If Victoria had seen her, she would have told her to rid them, and Brooke would have listened. Her every word so embedded in her own mind. She controlled everything about her, every single decision, whether it was about the company or her body appearance. She wanted love, and though what she was getting was anything but it, it was time spent with her mother, and it was more than she ever had. She was immune to it; she was immune to Victoria's words. She got up, "They will be back soon, I better wash up."

"Brooke," Lindsey tried, but when Brooke turned to confront her, she knew that it would be to no prevail. "Think about what I said. If you need me, I am here to talk."

"I am okay, Lindsey."

"You are not okay, Brooke," had everything she said gone in one ear and out the other.

"I am fine. Perfectly fine. I will not be fine if I don't go and wash up. Tears do not go well with my façade," she had listened, but it was not something she was willing to adhere to, not now at least. Lindsey knew some of the reason for Brooke's pains now, so she was not going to pretend everything was normal. Nonetheless, she was going to try to change things. Not now. Haley was top priority.

"Fine, Brooke, fine. But when you are not fine, I'll still be here."

"Okay," she looked once more at Lindsey and was out the door. She took in everything Lindsey had said, but she wasn't breaking down, not yet. The weight was not quite heavy enough. She was still strong enough. Today she was.

**AN: So I know you all have mixed emotions about Lindsey and her place in this story or in Tree Hill. In my opinion right now, Haley is struggling, but so is Brooke silently. Haley is not stable enough to support Brooke's needs. That is where Lindsey comes in, she is almost like a place-holder. And as you can see, Brooke is kind of backing off from Lindsey, not quite sure her place in it all. Haley is going to rebound, but she is going to need Brooke to be there, and she might not if someone like Lindsey doesn't step in. So that is why I have Lindsey in here. I hope this is okay. Other than that, how do you think this chapter went? Peace.**


	12. Chapter 12

Brooke turned on the shower, the water was steaming, she was ready. She stepped in and her unfinished tears fell down her eyes with the scalding water. And she cried. No one could see her tears again; the shower was her only sanctuary. When she was done releasing her pains, she stepped out of the shower. She realized that it had burned her skin, it was completely red. Brooke looked at herself in the mirror. She was thin, thinner than before. Her eyes were empty but longing for something. Her face illustrated her unhappiness. She spoke of missing Haley's former identity, yet her own invisibility was even more vibrant than before. Where did she go?

She quickly covered herself up and put on her face. It was part of the routine. Another deep sigh to ensure she was still breathing. She was just barely holding on. Brooke was beginning to wonder how long she could just hold on. It was something she could put off until tomorrow. She just hoped she didn't run out of tomorrows.

Brooke emerged from the bathroom ready to face whatever was next. Whether it was Lindsey, Haley, or even Nathan, she was ready.

The ice cream trio had returned, she heard laughter in the kitchen. She wished that she could laugh. She wished that her happiness had not been taken away. Another sigh and she went towards the laughter. If only she could laugh.

"Aunt Brooke!" Jamie shouted with glee. "I didn't lose your card, and I did everything you told me to do."

"How many scoops did you try tonight, Jamie?" she sincerely wanted to know, she had missed too much of his year, so if it was his favorite color or his ice cream consumption she wanted to know. She wanted to know everything.

"Momma said I could only have two, but Uncle Lucas let me finish his," his smile radiated throughout the room.

"And Haley, was ice cream the medicine you needed? Was Dr. Jamie right with his diagnosis?"

"I think the young doctor was right on, I am feeling so much better," she grabbed onto Jamie, "thank you, Doctor."

"So you are better? You aren't going to be sad anymore?" If only it was this easy.

"I could never be sad when I am with you, Jamie."

Unfortunately, this five year old was smarter than your average child; he knew that it was not the entire story, "What happens when I am not around?"

"Then I will think of you, and everything will make me happy."

"Even when you are with Daddy?" Boy did this child cover all the possibilities.

"I love your daddy very much, Jamie."

"But he is the reason you are sad all of the time."

"This is what we are working on, Jamie," Brooke put in. She wasn't sure how far Jamie was going to go with his incessant questioning or if Haley was going to be able to keep replying.

"Okay, Aunt Brooke. What do I do now?"

"Well, Little Man, I think you are going to have to give me a hug."

"Is that going to help, Momma?"

"It will help me, and if you help me, I can help your mom."

That bought Jamie over, and he embraced his needing godmother.

"That has got to be the best hug I have ever had."

Until now Lucas and Lindsey were bystanders to the conversation. "Hey J. Luke, I was thinking about a little basketball before bed, what do you think?"

He looked to his mom; he needed some reassurance that it was okay to leave her, "Can I, Momma?"

"Of course you can, just take it easy on your Uncle, he is tired," it was the understatement of the day. Who wouldn't be tired during this day? Lucas had to deal with a missing nephew when Brooke took him to his home. He had to deal with his uncharacteristic anger with Brooke. Two hours with Nathan had drained him, and then he had to extract his best friend from her house. All in less than 12 hours. She looked over at her oldest friend and silently passed her gratitude.

As the testosterone left the kitchen, three girls remained. Imagine silence once more. So much had already been said throughout the duration of the day, what possible merited enough power for this day?

Brooke and Haley had not spoken, actually spoken since when they were in the car. Haley had no idea about Brooke's rendezvous with Nathan. She wasn't sure if it was time for a confession. When would be a good time to tell your best friend that your alcoholic husband made a pass at you? Especially since that would mean Nathan did not speak in anger, but in wanting. It was all that Haley pushed for and Brooke got it. How could she break more into Haley's fragility? She couldn't. It would hurt too much, and today Haley didn't need it. She never really needed it.

After a few minutes of unbearable silence, Haley spoke, "What a day."

'What a day?' both Lindsey and Brooke repeated the statement in their heads. It was like Haley was referring to a long day at an amusement park. It was close with the amount of rollercoasters ridden, but it was no Six Flags. Neither knew a proper or appropriate response – they were baffled.

"So what did you have for dinner?" no one was contributing to erasing the silence, so she spoke on her assumption that they must have eaten in her absence.

The thought of food alerted Brooke's stomach to the fact she had not had food – other than a few spoons of Jamie's ice cream – since stepping foot in Tree Hill. She was immune though. Immune to hunger. Victoria had made her immune. Damn Victoria. It had been 6 months since Victoria had reminded her of the spotlight placed on such a young and successful designer. And those shining the light liked to highlight every single imperfection. Brooke Davis' baby bump on the cover of National Inquiry did not bode well with Victoria. Brooke was sure her next cover would be focusing on her shrinking body. She was sure Victoria would enjoy that one more. After all it was all about Victoria. Damn Victoria.

Lindsey had forgotten as well, but her hunger had diminished with her conversation with Brooke. "Actually, we hadn't gotten to that yet. You hungry, Brooke? I can make you whatever you want."

She shook her head. Nothing new.

Lindsey felt she should have pried deeper. But not now, not today. Their conversation was filling enough.

"Brooke, have you eaten at all today?" Haley wondered aloud. She may be broken but she could still be concerned. It was in her character. It was who she was. It was all she had left.

"Haley, I am not hungry."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Haley, there were more pertinent events today that needed to be addressed."

"You are too thin, do you ever eat?"

"People who don't eat are called corpses. I'm sure I'm still above ground."

"Barely," she wasn't sure if she purposely slipped it out, but she would not apologize for being concerned.

Where was this coming from? She knew she was thin. Too thin. But her daily life paid a heavy toll on her and her body. She accepted it. Why couldn't Haley do the same? "I'm not hungry, let's just drop it."

"Haley, she just lost her appetite, that is all," Brooke gratefully accepted Lindsey's defense. She wasn't sure she would get it elsewhere, so she would gladly take what she could get. "It was a long, draining day."

"I still think you are too thin, it is not healthy, Brooke," Haley looked her friend over again. Her Brooke was always slim, but she now was Peyton-thin, and she did not have Peyton's body type. She cared about Brooke, and she was saddened that she had been absent; all she wanted now was to know why and how she had gotten to this point.

"Coming from the tiniest of all of us," she pushed it aside again, attention averted.

"You know my reason, what is yours?" Damn she was good. It silenced Brooke. Over the course of the past day it had become unmistakable that silence was sometimes more painful than words. This silence hurt.

Brooke's phone rang. She tried to momentarily forget about the other world. But it always seemed to bring her back. The noise startled the girls, it was not welcomed. She looked down, it was Millicent. All Brooke wanted to do was ignore, ignore her other life waiting on hold. But she couldn't. And it was Millie, and it was for the fifth time today. It would not be fair; Millicent had no fault, so she answered the phone. "Millie, I am so sorry."

It wasn't Millicent. Brooke realized the second the person on the other line said, "Oh, you are sorry?"

Brooke had begun to leave the room, not wanting to intrude anymore on Lindsey and Haley's silence. It would be unfair. But she was not stable enough to leave the room. The force of power Victoria held on her – even hundreds of miles away – was radiantly palpable. It was radiantly palpable to the people at the table that she was about to break.

She did not have enough strength to hang up, close her phone, or end the call. She was using all of strength left to hold on – to her phone as well.

"Where's Millicent?"

"What do you think I did? Kill her, just so I could use her phone? Well, I'm not done with her yet, we will see what happens next," she laughed at the idea of the ridiculous ploy. But Brooke wasn't laughing. She knew what Victoria was capable of. She just hoped Millicent could handle it. Because she no longer could.

"Where is Millicent," it was her attempt at a demand.

"She is standing right next to me, Brookie; do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes, I don't believe you."

"Why would I lie to you, daughter dearest?"

"Let me talk to Millicent," her voice was barely audible.

Victoria handed the phone to Millicent, she knew how to play the game, unfortunately the two girls were unaware of the deeper demise she had in mind. "Brooke? Brooke, I am so sorry, I don't even know how she got my phone. Brooke, I didn't tell her where you were. I promise."

"Millie, Millie, slow down," she had to calm down her assistant. "Are you okay?" She didn't believe a word Victoria said anymore, she wasn't so sure Millicent was untouched.

"Well Victoria fired me, but other than that I am fine. I am worried about you though."

"First off, you are not fired, and secondly I am fine, stop your premature worrying."

With that statement Haley looked from Brooke to Lindsey, pleading with the latter to try and do something. Lindsey was thinking the same thing, but she was running out of ideas on how to save Brooke, she kept knocking them down.

"Brooke, when are you coming home?"

Brooke heard the phone being snapped from Millicent's hand, "Your pathetic excuse for an assistant made her first valid point, when are you coming home, Dear?"

"I am home," she trembled with each word.

"Stop the nonsense, Brooke. I don't know what you were thinking leaving without alerting anyone. Or why in God's name you would you escape to Tree Hill, North Carolina? I was billed for the flight; you sure picked a great one in Millicent, especially if you wanted to remain anonymous. So you need to start using some of the little sense you have and board the next flight. Just drive to the airport your flight will be taken care of."

Brooke had no idea that the volume on her phone was loud enough for Lindsey and Haley to hear every single word that Victoria spoke to her. Brooke's picture was slowly being painted. When Victoria inavertedly removed Haley from Brooke's life, she took Brooke's own with her. That is where Brooke went.

"No," it was the only word she could get out.

"What did you just say?"

"I said no."

"I didn't even know that word was in your vocabulary. Nice try, Brooke. I will see you in a few hours."

"No," Brooke said again.

"If you know what is best for you, I will see you in the office tonight."

"No," it was all she say.

"It was always evident why you never went to college, your vocabulary range is slim, my dear. If you want to play games like the child you are, I can too. Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. there will be a meeting regarding your stability as CEO of Clothes ova Bros. If you are not present, it will be evident to the board that your spastic adventure to Tree Hill was unwarranted. Prime evidence of unstable behavior."

"It is my company."

"And it still will be unless you decide that you rather remain in Tree Hill."

"It is my company."

"Dear, you really have got to try different words; it is not helping your image at all. You know that I always inform your best interest. Just listen, board the plane, I will see you in the morning, Brooke."

"Put Millie back on the phone," she looked up into concerned and pleading eyes, two pairs. She looked down because she couldn't bear to see them.

"So demanding. Fine, I don't know what you see in her, but here she is," Brooke heard Victoria summon Millicent. She was getting a raise when she remembered; this stepped over the boundaries of her job description.

"Brooke, what time do you want me to book your flight?" she was in her speedy assistant mode already. Victoria was looking at her with watchful eyes giving a nodding approval, and then she walked out of Brooke's office.

"Millicent I want you to book a flight, but not for me. As soon as you are ready I want you to come to Tree Hill."

"Brooke, you must come back, you will lose everything."

"I already have," the words slipped emotionless from her mouth. "You can come to me, or you can move on with your life. Thank you for putting up with me for these past four years."

"Brooke, I will be there as soon as I can."

"Millie?"

"What is it, Brooke?"

"Thank you."

"Brooke, are you okay?"

"Honestly, Millie, I am starting to realize that I am not okay," the statement was the affirmation that Haley and Lindsey thought they wanted. But watching Brooke's phone slip from her hand as the hidden pain escaped into the room, this was not the way they wanted it. Not like this, not for Brooke.

Brooke looked up at the girls again when she realized she had lost control, she knew that her tears were going to be released with her heartache. She vowed in the shower that no one would see her tears. She had to leave the room. She covered her mouth. She got up from her seat. But her feet were not on the same track as her mind, and she stumbled. She stumbled to the ground as she stumbled in life.

Lindsey got there first. Damn déjà vu. Haley got to her feet, but the sight of her best friend brought her back down. She vowed at that moment to gather more strength, not for herself, not even for Jamie now, but for Brooke. Brooke needed her, and at the current moment she could not help. She sat in her chair, and she watched Lindsey comfort Brooke – something she should be doing. But she couldn't. So she watched.

Brooke didn't want to be comforted. She wanted to be alone. She knew how to be alone. She did not know reassurance. Lindsey had her arms around Brooke, but she broke away. She got to the refrigerator, the surface supporting her – the only thing she had left – and her arms around her knees. Lindsey was pushed back in disarray. All she could do was watch the starlet's demise, all she could do was watch. If a photographer took a picture of the scene in the kitchen, people would confuse the travesty with a national disaster. If someone walked in on the scene the devastation would run through their blood. One would not want to be that person.

Jamie ran through the house with a smile on his face, he beat his Uncle Lucas in basketball and he had to tell his momma. "Momma, Momma," he shouted towards the kitchen. He didn't understand why Haley didn't reply, but as soon as he stepped into the kitchen he knew the reason for her silence. He was the unfortunate recipient of the devastating scene. His eyes went from his mom, to Lindsey, to Brooke. He personally knew sadness, but the adults' were way worse than he had experienced. How do you pick the one who needs you most? He was just a little boy, but he knew the three were in desperate need. He helped his mom earlier, so it was between Brooke and Lindsey. Jamie knew Lucas was close behind and would comfort his fiancée – he went for Brooke.

She saw the little boy walk into the room and quickly scan the scene. She realized he was coming towards her, why was he picking her? It was more affirmation that she was in need. Haley was in need, and though she had not discovered it yet, she was sure Lindsey had her own story. But Jamie picked her, was she the worst? Unfortunately, she was.

"Aunt Brooke, why are you so sad?"

She cracked, she couldn't reply to the question, but she knew the answer. She knew why she was so sad. Her name was Victoria. Damn Victoria.

He put his arms around Brooke, and she let him. And she let her delayed tears fall. Lucas walked in on this scene. He did the same double take as Jamie did, but his eyes were first fixated on his nephew and his first true love. His current love and his best friend had tears in their eyes to accompany Brooke's own. He extended his hand to Lindsey to help her up, and she embraced him as if he was rescuing her. In a way he was. Lucas waited for Lindsey's release and helped her to a seat. Lindsey reached out her hand to Haley. With tearful eyes Haley looked to Lindsey, and without words told her of her new vow. It was not to Nathan, but it was to Brooke.

Lucas felt he was the most stable person in the room, but he had to sit down too. It was too much. It was all just too much.

The scene remained; no one had enough power to alter it. So it remained. It remained until Brooke's tears stopped flowing. It took awhile, but it was necessary. Lucas and Lindsey both gathered mutual vigor and decided it was past Jamie's bedtime. They got up, and Lindsey put a hand on Jamie's shoulder blade, "Jamie, I think it is time for bed."

"I can't leave Aunt Brooke."

"I am okay now, Jamie, you helped me. Go to sleep, Buddy."

"That is what my momma told me, and she was not okay. Someone needs to stay."

"I am going to stay with your Aunt Brooke," Haley said composing herself enough to stand and walk over to the refrigerator. Lucas put an arm around Haley in a way to praise her for getting out of her seat. It was the first step, and it was the first step necessary. For Brooke, and for Haley. She bent down to put her son in her arms, "There is no one I love more in this world than you, Jamie. I hope you always know that," she gave him a kiss on the top of his head.

"You ready, Buddy?" Lucas asked his nephew.

"Can I have one more second?"

"You can have as many seconds as you need," he had to smile at the fact that Jamie was trying to be the hero. That used to be his job.

Jamie turned to face Brooke again. Her makeup stained her face from her tears, her hair was disheveled. She was not the picture on the cover of B. Davis magazine. For that image on the cover was manufactured, the real Brooke Davis appeared before the little boy. He was okay with this version, and even though he was young, he knew that the girl behind the makeup was real. "I don't know why you are sad, but I know why my momma is. My daddy made her sad. She is going to get better with or without my daddy, you will do the same," he was definitely Lucas' nephew with his well-spoken words, and definitely Haley's son with his intelligence. "I love you."

She got her love. It took less than 24 hours. She was waiting for 22 years for her mother's. At the rate she was going, she was going to have to wait another 22. It was not worth it. Not anymore. Not since she returned to Tree Hill. Her life aspiration dissolved the moment she stepped off the plane. She just wished she didn't wait so long.

Lucas picked Jamie up and the trio left the room. Haley carefully slid down to join Brooke on the ground. Brooke immediately put her head on Haley's shoulder. And they sat there, they simply remained. It was all they could do. It was all they could do for now.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: This is the moment of truth for Brooke. It is about time the words she spoke were factual.**

Haley didn't even know what to say. How could anyone know what to say? All she knew how to do was hold on, hold on to everything she ever wanted. That was the only reason she still had Nathan. Taking that back, she really didn't have Nathan now, but she was holding on to what they were. That is all she knew how to do, and she was going to hold onto Brooke as long as she needed her. She couldn't speak, speaking the right words were not something she possessed anymore. After numerous attempts at the right words, she had failed; she was not going to risk failure with Brooke. She did not need Haley's failure.

Brooke's tears stop flowing a long time ago, but she liked the feeling of another body close to hers. In high school it was nameless boys, but now she was left alone, her own body was her only comfort. And it did not comfort her like she needed. Haley's did though.

She pulled back from Haley's shoulder. It was time to tell the truth. Or at least it was time to attempt the truth. Haley deserved it, and hell, so did Brooke. It needed to be out in the open. It would save her from more pain along the way. And that was the last thing either of the two needed. "All my life, all I wanted was for her to see me, really see me. It took 18 years but when my company started to prosper I got the phone call I always wanted. And at first I thought the attention and focus was on me. I soon realized it was about the company all along. She never came back for me. I pretended I didn't know, but I knew, I just liked the fact that someone was around. Victoria was the only one in my life, and I couldn't let go of her with the fear I would be left all alone forever. That is my biggest fear. It always has been."

Haley grabbed Brooke's hands and put them in her own, "You will never be alone. You will always have me. I will ensure you that I will never leave again."

"The reason I didn't have you was because of her. She took everything away, yet I stayed, I stayed because I thought it was my only option."

"Well it looked like you broke free."

"You heard?" she couldn't believe that Haley heard her conversation with her mother. She did not want Haley to even feel even an ounce of the wrath of Victoria Davis. Look where it had gotten Brooke, Haley didn't need any more, especially some directed towards Brooke.

"Every word. I am so sorry, Brooke. I thought I knew how malevolent Victoria was from my one conversation with her. But then I didn't realize that she was your mother, you do not deserve it. Not one single word." Haley looked to Brooke again, and she wasn't buying it, "Brooke, you do know that this is not your fault, that your mother failed miserably at her job to care and to love for you. She is an evil bitch, that is what she is, and she does not deserve you as the wonderful, beautiful, successful daughter you are."

She couldn't accept those words as true, not one of the adjectives Haley listed described her. Not anymore at least, not since Victoria re-entered her life.

"Brooke, what else as she conditioned you to believe?" Haley quickly realized that Victoria had formed Brooke to her liking in the past four years, and Brooke had become a mannequin in it all. The girl that sat next to her was created by Victoria, and Haley was afraid that it was going to be difficult to unprogram Brooke.

"I have always been really naïve; Haley, Victoria just helped me to see what I couldn't."

"Naïve? Naïve, Brooke? I was naïve in high school. You were always strong, you spoke your mind, and you didn't care what anyone else said."

"It was an act."

"I am starting to see that now. But some truth had to be deep inside. You were the strongest person I knew," she changed her wording, "you are the strongest person I know. And if anyone can get through this with a complete turnaround, it is you. You are Brooke Davis; you take shit from no one."

"Except from my own mother," it really saddened her. Haley was right though, in high school, Brooke spoke her mind and she did not care who she hurt in the process. She knew that in the process Haley had been harmed, she was grateful that Haley was here now though. But as she grew up and realized that the agony she was experiencing was killing her, she couldn't hide anymore. And her heart broke, Lucas broke her heart. She was immensely grateful though for him, and that heartbreak. If she did not experience it then she did not think she could have made it to this point. And as it appears, she barely made it anyways. But with Lucas' heartbreak her eyes were opened to what pain looked like. She knew that Victoria was destroying her psyche, but she was holding onto to the slim chance of reconciliation. The fraction was diminishing.

"Well today you didn't. What changed?"

"You," it was the truth; she couldn't do it without Haley. She never really had strength unless someone else was in her presence. Now that she knew the truth that Victoria had extracted Haley from her life because she knew it would weaken her, she was gathering her strength back. Victoria had taken that too. That process would be long, but the famously vibrant Brooke Davis would show her face again.

"Me? I can barely stand on my own two feet."

"But they are your own two feet; I have been standing on someone else's for so long. You are hurting, it saddens me how badly you are, but you are still going. You have a son that needs you, so you will not give up. You will never give up. To me giving up is just so much easier than holding on. But underneath your pain you are strong, Haley. And you will not let one accident alter your life forever. You are so strong."

"I am not. I wasn't. I wasn't until you came back, Brooke. It has taken me four months to even be angry with Nathan. I didn't even know I was angry. You brought out the anger that I needed, and I needed it badly. I thought that his dream had been taken away from him, and nothing could have been worst. But he took away my dreams too, and he doesn't care. I care, I care now, and it is because you gave me the strength I needed."

"I was just giving you perspective, Haley."

"Well it was the perspective I needed to change things. Things are going to be a whole lot different around here. I have you to thank for that. And you know what, Brooke?"

"What?"

"You are giving me another reason to hold on, and never give up."

"What is the reason?"

"I have a friend that needs me. I have not been there for her when she needed me. But she is here now, and I am going to regain my stamina so I can help her gather hers," Brooke gave her a sad smile. But Haley realized that her words were not enough. Not now at least. Brooke was suffering the loss of her mother, and the realization that she never really had her to begin with. Her words would not suffice. No one's words would suffice. Not now.

"If you hold on, does that mean I can give up?"

"You better fight like hell, Brooke."

"If I stay in Tree Hill, I lose my company."

"It is yours, Brooke; no one can take it away from you."

"Don't worry; Victoria will do everything in her power to take every single thing away. Until I am truly alone."

"Brooke, I am here."

"You are here now."

"You think I am going to leave you when you need me the most?"

"I don't know what to think."

"Brooke, last time was Victoria's fault. If I do departure, then it is all on me. And I never do that to you. Never. I promise you."

"Who am I without my company? I didn't go to college, how far am I am going to go? And Victoria was the one who made it as big as it is. It would still be in my bedroom if it wasn't for her. The high end clientele, the couture, it was all Victoria. I can't do what she did."

"Brooke you created the company, Victoria might have made it bigger, but it was your creation. And you can do it again. I have the utmost confidence in you. They are your designs, they are your masterpiece. Victoria cannot run a company without designs. It will fail, and she will realize that the company's success was you all along."

"A little too late, don't you think?"

"Someday she will realize that the greatness inside you is all yours and it was a shame that she didn't take a second to see. It is a damn shame, Brooke."

"That woman will never care that she lost me, she never has before, and she never will. She will find another weakling girl and pry on her, just this time the stupid girl falling for her tactics won't be her daughter. Lucky for her she only has one of those."

Tonight was not the night to change Brooke's world with her words. She was defensive, and she was, as much as Haley did not want to admit it, she was weak. It was not the time to try and change things. Not yet. She was going to let Brooke dictate it for now, "What's next?"

"We go to sleep, and tomorrow my whole world changes. If I survive tomorrow, then I am doing this, if not, I might be leaving Tree Hill for good."

"I need you, Brooke. I need you here."

"Let's see what tomorrow brings, Haley."

"What if it brings you away from me? I don't think I can do it again. I lost you once; I will not do it again."

"I want to be here with you, and with Jamie. I really do. But the only thing that I know how to do is run when times get tough. I do not want to take down the people around me, especially those I care about the most. If I foresee my disaster harming you, I will have to leave. You have been through enough. But we just have to see what tomorrow brings."

"Okay, Brooke. What you know is to run, and what I know is to fear tomorrows. I never know what it holds, and sometimes tomorrows are worst than todays. I am hoping for a better tomorrow. What are you hoping for?"

"That I have tomorrow's tomorrow," she knew she was running out of time and out of luck. She shouldn't be here right now, not in Lucas' kitchen, today was not guaranteed for her. Someone upstairs must be pulling for her, because her tomorrows were discounted to the desperate girl. She didn't know when her luck would run out. She hoped it wasn't this tomorrow. She wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Lindsey sat in the hallway listening to the girls. She was not trying to be invasive. Brooke and Haley were not strong enough for the severity of their conversation; Lindsey wanted to be present if either girl could not handle it. She had her own silent tears sliding down her face, her back to the girls. It was not fair for two such successful and strong women to be stuck in her fiancé's kitchen struggling to breathe. When she heard silence she stood up, she feared silence. She peaked around the corner and saw the two girls sitting still against the refrigerator. It appeared that neither could support themselves nor help the other up. It was time for her rescuing tactics to come in play.

Brooke was relieved when she saw Lindsey's presence in the kitchen. She couldn't handle anymore of the conversation, nor could she pull herself up from despair. She didn't care who saw her anyone, she was reaching her hand up just asking for help – and it did not make her weak. Screw you, Victoria.

Lindsey was glad that her presence was not seen as an intrusion; both girls seemed to need that extra support to help them up. And that is what she was going to give them – whether it was a simple extra hand to pull them to their feet, or it was more severe, she was not backing away. She pulled Brooke up first, and made sure she was strong enough to walk before she let go. Brooke's eyes extended saddened gratitude. Then Brooke slowly made it out of the room. When she returned to assist Haley, Lindsey noticed that she had turned away. She feared that more tears had formed; she was sure Haley's tear ducts were in overdrive. Before today, Lindsey had never seen Haley's tears. The pain was visible on her face every time she went to the Scott's residence, but it was never too much for Haley to handle. Well apparently it was.

Lindsey thought that Haley didn't need to be helped up at the point; she needed someone to sit down with her. So she complied with Haley's unsaid wishes. "Is there room for another?" she was not expecting a response from Haley.

"Always," she turned to Lindsey. They had grown to be become the best of friends after Lindsey edited Lucas' first book. All of Haley's friends had gone away, and in a way she was alone too. Lindsey was new to the area, and the two easily became friends with their common interest – Lucas. They have grown accustomed to reading each other without words. Haley knew when she turned to meet Lindsey's eyes, all would be said.

And it was. "Once she believes you are here for the long haul, she will turn around. She has been hurt and conditioned by absences in her life, it is hard for her. Brooke knows how much you love her, and once she breaks through the encasement her mother has covered her in, your old best friend will be back," and just in case Haley didn't believe her, "I promise you."

"I am sorry that I have not been here for you. I have been such an awful friend."

Lindsey and Brooke seemed to have a common characteristic – they fringed at attention addressed towards them. "Haley, you do not need to apologize to me. You are my friend, and you needed me. You need me. That is what friends do. Anyways, you showered me with support before; it is my turn to return the favor."

"How you holding up?"

"It will be two years next week," she did not know how she slipped into 'tell-all' mode, but her own truth slipped out. Maybe it was the kitchen.

Haley put a supportive hand on Lindsey's knee, "Don't you ever think just because I am going through something that I cannot be here for you. It goes both ways, I would a terrible friend if I let all the attention fall on me, when you needed it more."

"Haley, we cannot compare our separate tragedies."

"I just want you to assure me that you will come to me, regardless of time or what 'I'm going through.'"

Lindsey heard each word that Haley spoke, but that didn't mean she believed them. They were incomparable. Right now Haley was going through the lost of a marriage, a family, and love; she had only lost one thing – one important person.

* * *

Brooke did not sleep well that night, and this time it wasn't the couch. All these new thoughts were in her mind, or maybe they weren't so new after all, they had just reemerged after a long absence. She felt so weak, and drained. Again, normally recurring emotions for her, but she normally let them be covered up by her makeup or fancy clothes. She didn't see the need this time, not anymore. She realized that the occupants of Lucas's house were not going to put her on a pedestal. She just had to make sure she extracted herself from her own.

Her eyes were closed, but she definitely was not sleeping. She quickly realized that if she was going to be staying in this house, Jamie Scott was going to be her alarm clock – regardless of what time she wanted to get up. "Are you sleeping, Aunt Brooke?" his attempt at a whisper did not bode well.

But his attempt at getting a smile out of Brooke: right on the money. He was sure by her response of grabbing him and pulling him close to her, that she was no longer sleeping. "Good morning, my godson."

"Good morning, my godmother," he couldn't retain his giggles. He knew that the previous night was emotion-packed, but he was simply five, he still had the hope that the next day would be better than the last.

"What time is it, Little Man?"

"Well, the sun is still down, so I guessing it is too early," using Brooke's same device as yesterday. He was a quick learner, that Jamie Scott.

How could this little boy not put a smile on anyone's face? "You know what, Jamie, I was wrong yesterday."

"You were?"

"This is the perfect time to be up. We can watch the sun rise. Have you ever done that before?" Brooke remembered several times in high school – when Haley and Nathan were going through their separation period – that Haley had woken Brooke up because she could not sleep through her despair, and the duo watched the sun rise. Haley said that as long as the sun rose each day, then Nathan and Haley's love was not over. And each day, the sun would rise. Today Brooke was going to test the theory. She would do it for Nathan and Haley's love, and she would do it for her own.

"I don't think I have. What is so special about it though?"

"Well, Jamie, it is just something you have to see for yourself, and then you can decide. It happens every day, but it is just something you need to see to believe."

"Believe what, Aunt Brooke?"

"Believe that the sun is really going to rise, and that we have another day."

"So when the sun rises today, and we see it, it means that you have another try."

"Another try?" But she soon figured out what the precocious boy was getting at. When the sun rose, it meant she had another attempt at her happiness. Maybe that was not exactly what he was trying to get at, maybe that magnitude was too large for him to grasp, but it was the truth. Each sun rising meant that it was not over, whatever that may be. For Haley it was Nathan's love, and for Brooke it would her happiness. Let's just hope the sun does rise today. "Let's go see a new day begin," she extended her hand out to her godson, and he held on as the pair walked out the nearest door.

Brooke quickly decided that the best place to see the sun rise would be on top of her rental car. So she carefully helped Jamie get up, and she followed suit. The two laid back, looking into the still darkened sky. "Aunt Brooke?"

"What is it Jamie?" there was concern in the little boy's question.

"Why are adults always sad?" well in truth, not all adults were generally depressed people, but the ones in Jamie's lives appeared to be. It was all he knew, unfortunately for him and the adults in his life.

And Brooke knew this, she also knew that her godson was not naïve enough to think that once you grew older that everything would automatically accumulate to sadness; he just wanted to know why the ones in his lives seemed to get more than their share. "Sometimes, things have to be really bad, and people have to be really sad, for things to get better."

"So you have to get sad to be happy? Why can't you just start out happy?"

"Well, you do, Jamie. We start out happy, but sometimes bad things happen and our happiness goes away."

"When did yours go away?"

"Well, sometimes people are never truly happy," she did not want to lie to him, he deserved the truth, in actuality he deserved the world, a happy one at that.

"Never in your whole life you were happy, Aunt Brooke?"

Was she ever really? There were bouts of times that yes, one could say Brooke Davis was a happy girl, but there were the bouts of unhappiness that trumped them. "Sometimes people pretend. Do you ever pretend you are someone else?"

"Sometimes, well I used to pretend that I was Daddy and I was in the Pros," but not anymore, not since the accident, the boy's face changed, "sometimes I think that maybe Daddy is just pretending too. Like maybe, maybe he really does want us around, he is just disappointed. What did you pretend to be?"

"Well sometimes I pretended that I had a million dollar clothing company."

"You don't have to pretend anymore, do you?"

"I don't have to pretend, it happened."

"Did you ever pretend something and it not happen?" he was curious where Brooke was going to take this.

"Everything else, Buddy, everything else."

"So you are sad everyday? Of your whole life?"

"Well I can name you some very happy days."

"What are they?"

"Most of them have to do with you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you are one special little boy, do you know that?"

"I am just five."

"That may be true, but the day you were born was probably one of the best days of my life. I loved you the second I saw you."

"What was your best day ever?"

"Two days ago," the day was filled with two-sided emotions. She was introduced to the new life in Tree Hill and it devastated her, Haley's devastation pained her. But James Lucas Scott re-entered her life, and she would be forever grateful for all the pain, just to have him in her life. There was something about the boy that gave her hope for the next day; she didn't even need the sun today.

"What happened then?"

"I got to see you for the first time in a long time, way too long."

"Well then two days ago was one of my favorite days too."

"How come?"

"Well I always have heard stories about my godmother, but I really didn't know her at all. Two days ago that changed, and she bought me all the ice cream I wanted," now addressing her directly, "Aunt Brooke, I am glad you came back."

"Me too, Buddy, me too," she was, she really was. But her mind could not be fixated solely on the positives of her return. Haley's demise and her own were lingering, and if this sun didn't rise she wasn't sure that things were going to be worth it after all.

**AN: The shell is slowly being broken into pieces. I know there is a lot of sadness in this story, but just like Brooke told Jamie, there needs to be times of unhappiness, until the real happiness is found. It takes time, I hope you can respect the process. Anyways, I am glad some are liking the Brooke and Jamie relationship, I think it is a strong one. There needs to be at least one in Tree Hill. Anyways, let me know what you think. Thanks. Peace.**


	14. Chapter 14

As on cue, some of the darkness subsided, and slowly but surely a new day had begun as the sun rose in the little town of Tree Hill, North Carolina. They watched it rise in silence, it was not a long process, but it deserved the necessary stillness. When the sun found its place in the sky for the day, words were spoken.

"We have another day," it was not Brooke or Jamie, but another recipient of the necessity of the sun rising – Haley.

The two on the car turned to see Haley. Brooke had to stare at her friend because she was almost certain that there were rays of hope being emitted from Haley. She truly saw the day anew, and if Haley could find hope in the devastation, then Brooke better try a little damn harder to do the same.

"Momma," the little boy cried out to his mother. Every time that Jamie saw Haley now it was the same outcries of joy. It was as if it was the first time, in actuality they just had time to make up. He noticed the Haley's hope emission as well, it was about time. There were too many mornings that Haley woke up to the harsh grunts of Nathan or fear of what could happen. Today was different, and the sun rising just solidified her purpose in the world. First, foremost, and always she was a mother to a precious little boy, and secondly she was a candidate for the best friend that ever lived. Haley just had to make sure she upheld her standards, which up until today had been lacking. She was grateful for the raising sun.

Haley helped her son off the car and embraced him. There were not many mornings in which she was free to hold him like this. Too many mornings had been filled with worry or fear as Jamie was being pushed out of the house to Skillz or Lucas. But not this morning. She had to admit that in the back on her mind she wondered about Nathan, but those thoughts would not surface. She was with her son right now, and he needed to be her only focus – if only that had been the case for the past four months things might have worked out better.

"We watched the sun rise, it was dark and now the whole sky is lit up."

"It is an amazing thing to watch isn't it, and you sure had good company," Brooke was always the best person to have around. She was there when Haley feared that the sun would not rise. Brooke assured her that things would never be over because the sun rose with everyday. And if Haley needed proof, Brooke was willing to watch each morning – and until Haley herself believed in, the girls woke up many mornings before the sun lit up the sky.

"Aunt Brooke said it was something you just have to see. I knew that the sun went up and down each day and night, but she was right, now I know for sure."

Haley extended her hand to Brooke to help her get off the car. The girls embraced – hugs were missing from their diets. Speaking of food, Haley was going to try again, "How about some breakfast, how does pancakes sound?"

Haley was waiting for Brooke's response, but she got her son's first. "Will you make the ones with the smiley faces?"

"Of course," grabbing his chin to give him a butterfly kiss. "How about you go wake up your Uncle Lucas, I bet he would want some too."

Any chance to wake up someone from his or her slumber, Jamie would easily comply. He was off with Haley's last words.

Smiles emerged on the remaining two's faces, Jamie was like the sun, he lit up the space in which he occupied.

Haley returned to Brooke, "How about you, would you like some smiley faced pancakes?"

It was the moment of truth, "That sounds delicious," Brooke was hunger for more than food right now. She was glad that Haley seemed pleased with her response. Brooke did not have an eating disorder, though she knew her self-conscious eating habits were not healthy. She was conditioned by Victoria, and everything she put in her mouth she questioned because she feared where it would end up on her body. Victoria had made it extremely clear.

Haley couldn't let it be any longer, she wanted to know what had caused the change in Brooke's appearance. She hypothesized it had been Victoria; she seemed to have been the reason for so much. But she wanted to hear it from Brooke's lips, so that maybe once Brooke said it aloud, she would realize that no matter what Victoria had said or would say, it was Brooke's body, and she was the one doing the harm to it. "Brooke," she began, but she really didn't know how to format a sensitive enough question. She put a hand on Brooke's arm because she was heading towards the door.

"What is it, Haley?" Brooke feared that the emissions were being dissolved, but this wasn't Haley's reason for concern. It was about her. She was going to have to get used to this.

"Brooke," she said her name again to give her some more time in conjuring the correct words, "you are so thin." It was another statement of truth, another time spoken. She couldn't ask her why, when she knew the answer. Haley wanted Brooke to know how concerned she was, but telling Brooke something she already knew did not seem to be the best method. Regardless, it was the only one she had.

Brooke knew, she knew it all. But the weight of Haley's words seeped in a little deeper than her own knowledge. She knew she was too thin, it was her lifestyle and it was Victoria. Damn, Victoria. Brooke just chose not to do anything about it; the look in Haley's eyes gave her a reason to become more conscious about what she was doing. She had a reason to fight now, the girl in front of her, and the precocious little boy inside waking up his uncle. "Haley, you don't have to worry."

"Of course I have to worry," she didn't give Brooke a chance to finish her statement.

"Let me finish. I know you are worried about me for various apparent reasons now. I am aware. I look at myself in the mirror, and wonder what has happened to that girl from high school – both mentally and physically. She has seemed to have disappeared. But the girl in the mirror had been through a lot and she suffered. I suffered," she finally admitted truthfully.

"But if you knew what was going on, why did you let your health continue to decline?"

"I can give you one word or a whole book."

"Victoria."

"Of course it was about her. She has such a control over my life, such a tight grasp. Over the years she told me how things were, and I accepted them. And truthfully they had led to prosperity. I listened and more clients came in; I listened and more expensive clothes were created. Whenever I seemed to listen, things happened, good things. I dropped any guy she told me, I attended all the important events, I met the right people, was at the right places. Well apparently I was at too many of these right places, maybe too much wine or cosmopolitans. National Inquiry put me on the cover of its magazine claiming I was pregnant – ever heard of a falsely claimed bulge as impending motherhood? Victoria did not like this; she did not like it at all. She said that due to my success and popularity I was going to always be in the spotlight, and I should start becoming more concerned with my appearance."

"So you stopped eating?"

"Self-consciously, I kind of did. But it didn't cease, I promise you that. I commend full-figured models to grace my covers. I don't know how it got to this point. But once it did, I thought it suited me better. Society and Hollywood keeps telling us you have to be the prettiest and the thinnest, I thought I was doing the right thing."

"It was at the expense of your health."

"I am not sick, Haley."

"It is a type of sickness, what you are doing to your body is a type of sickness."

"What about you?"

"What about me, Brooke? Does this always happen? When you become the main topic do you always put it back on the other person?"

"I do not want the attention."

"You are a famous designer."

"It is different," she paused because she knew exactly what she was going to say, "Haley. It is called avoidance, and it is something I certainly do well. It is all I know how to excel at. Once you find something like that you just go with it. So I went with it, and I still do. I don't want to be the center of attention if that means we have to focus on something that is wrong with me. I already know, no need to dwell."

"No one is perfect, Brooke."

"I wish that Victoria believed this."

"You have got to stop listening to what she has told you."

"It is not that easy, Haley. How can I just release all of her words? It is bountiful."

"I am not expecting them to easily be surrendered. But I want you to consciously take a hold of what she has said to you, and I want you to separate the truths from the falsehoods."

"I will try."

"It is all I ask. Brooke, I am not trying to badger you into anything at all. I just feel as if I have let you down, and I do not want to make the same mistakes again."

"I understand, Haley. I am only hoping you understand that it is going to be a process for me because this is all new. Concern is new, the right direction is new, it is all new. Do you understand that?"

"Of course I do. Just take the time that you need to heal."

"And you will do the same?"

"I have the perfect ally."

"How about some pancakes, I am starved," it was the truth. She was ready to cease her hunger, and indulge in food and in a life that better suited her.

"Let's just hope that Lucas did not start on them or we are going to have to go elsewhere," it was nice to see the change in tempo in Haley. A joke would not have graced her lips yesterday, or the day before, or a lot of days before. Her hope emission was in full gear, accompanying the risen sun, she was ready. She was ready for whatever was next. Whatever that may be.

The two turned towards back to the house when they were stopped – it seemed as if nothing that planned ever was carried out. The damn script writers had to make it difficult, always difficult lives for the girls to live. "Brooke," a familiar voice called out.

When she heard her name called she knew that she had someone's loyalty, and this loyalty came in the form of Millicent, "Millie, you didn't have to come."

Millicent was one who listened to every word that Brooke spoke, and for the most part, she believed her. She was not blind to the downward spiral Brooke's life had recently taken, she was just unsure of what the proper action was necessary. Stepping on a plane to Tree Hill was her first conscious initiative. "Yes I did," she spoke once she reached Brooke, embracing her immediately.

"Haley James Scott," she extended her hand to Millicent once she broke from Brooke.

"Nice to meet you," returning the welcome. Millicent did not know much about Haley, as she was never mentioned. Millicent didn't know the whole story, hell, no one really did. Her secret was though that she had read Lucas' novel, and more than once. Brooke hid the book in one of her desk drawers. Millicent knew that Brooke didn't mention or like to speak of her past, but no one can really live freely without remembering. For the past had brought her where she was today, no one can forget that.

"We were just about to have pancakes, would you like to join us?"

"I would love too, but I can't," she went from addressing Haley to addressing Brooke. "Brooke, I spoke with the board, they agreed to move the meeting back until noon. I have a flight booked for us in an hour, we must leave now."

"I can't."

"Brooke, you will lose your company."

"It will always be my company regardless if I attend this meeting or not," gaining some strength from Haley's reassuring words. "This is what Victoria wants, and she can have it. It has been controlling my life for far too long. I want to live now; I do not want to be held down anymore. Not from this company and certainly not from my mother."

"She is going to make you appear incompetent, Brooke," Millicent didn't want Brooke to give up this easily. She felt as if Brooke was throwing away so much prosperity. But again, Millicent didn't know the whole story.

"It doesn't matter," nonetheless, she saw the look in her assistant's eyes.

"How can you say that, Brooke? Of course it matters. Victoria has controlled every aspect of your company and your life. If you show up today then you can finally prove her wrong. She has probably already hired someone to redesign your office. Shock her, and show up. Let her know that she does not control you, and you are completely capable to making your own decisions."

Haley knew what she said to Brooke the night before, but Millicent had valid points, "Brooke, I agree with Millicent, I think you should go to the meeting."

Brooke was flabbergasted, Haley was basically contradicting herself. "A meeting cannot change anything."

"It can change everything, Brooke. You just have to believe it," Millicent was not going to give up.

"Brooke, the decision is ultimately yours. But if you show up today at this meeting, you will prove that Victoria is the unstable one. Which we knew all along. You are strong, but she has conditioned you to believe that you are weak. You are not weak, Brooke. You are Brooke Davis, and you are not your mother's daughter."

"I understand what this all means to you, I really do. I will stand by you whatever you may decide. You have always supported me; no matter how many times Victoria tried to fire me. And I will stand by you."

"You are so getting a raise, Millie," lightly squeezing the girl's hand.

"Brooke, tell me your reasons for not going," Haley needed to help Brooke regain her strength, and today her words might just be powerful enough. She had Brooke to thank, so she was repaying her gratitude.

"I just got here," she didn't want to leave, not yet. She wasn't ready. The reason she was in Tree Hill in the first place was to run and hide from her life in New York. She was not ready to face her demons, or her reasons for running. And she wanted to stay with Haley and her son. They were her family, and she just wished that she believed that from day one.

"You can come back, this is your home."

"I promised Jamie I wasn't leaving. Lucas will be right, I will just be another statistic, and I don't want to do that to him," maybe she could stay for a little boy after all.

"He will understand, Brooke."

"I don't want him to be forced to understand. I told him I was not going anywhere. I promised him I would heal his mother. I cannot renege on both."

"Brooke, today I woke up with so much hope, and I have you to thank for that. You accomplished your objective to my son."

Not so fast, Haley Scott, "Haley, one day cannot fix four months," it was always about Haley, it had to be. She sure hoped her friend did not return to her naivety roots and actually believed that everything was alright. This was only a small, minute step in the long, agonizing healing process. She prayed that Haley was not naïve.

"I know you are right, but the hope in my life is due completely to you. I did not have hope yesterday, Brooke."

She was relieved that Haley understood the extended period necessary for healing. Brooke just hoped she got hers as well; nonetheless, she had to get to that point first though. There was no way she was in the realm yet, she was still pained, and until it was completely confronted, the process of wholeness was still missing in action. "Come with me," this was another statement in which slipped out of her mouth without chance of retrieval.

"What? You want me to come to New York with you? Brooke, you know I can't. I cannot leave."

"Leave who, Haley?" it was a partial test.

"I cannot leave Jamie, and I cannot leave Nathan, not yet," this might have been the first test that Haley James Scott had failed.

"He has got to support himself."

"He is still weak. He is still angry. He is still hurt."

"We will fly back tomorrow. If we stay here, you wouldn't be able to see him either. What is a couple hundred miles between you going to do?"

"I cannot predict the future, Brooke; I don't know what could happen. But I do know that if something goes wrong, terribly wrong, I will be too far away to fix it."

"When are you going to realize that Nathan needs to fix it, you cannot do it for him?"

"I…I want to be the one."

Brooke's fears were coming true; the hope surrounding Haley was slowly slipping away. She could not let this happen, so much progress had been made, and it could not slip away in seconds. "I will make a deal with you. You willing?"

"What is the deal?" she was curious.

"You come to New York with me, Jamie too, and I confront Victoria in person. We come back, together, and you can confront Nathan," she was unsure how this idea popped into her head. There was no way that she would willingly speak with Victoria in person, she cringed at the thought. The latter of the deal was not too simple either. But it is what Haley needed, and under it all, Brooke realized that speaking with Victoria is what she needed. This thought solidified another reason for coming home. It was the breakthrough she needed in her life right now, and home sweet home contributed.

Haley had to quit being the person that she thought Nathan needed, and start being the person that she was underneath. It was for her five year old son, and it was for her. She needed to let Nathan know how she felt; it would be a four month release of pain and heartache. It would be another necessary step she needed to take at this time. Nathan could hold onto the unstoppable fears, because she was done with them, and the pain it brought. It was Nathan's turn to hurt. "Deal," Haley extended her hand to Brooke. Haley knew what she personally needed, and she knew what her friend needed as well. Brooke needed to confront Victoria, and release her pains. It was Victoria's turn to hurt.

Brooke encased Haley into another hug; it was so nice to have a long lost friend back. It was nice to finally have the support she needed, not the discouragement of wrong-doing. It was nice to finally have a proper track to be following. She had lost direction a long time ago, and she feared her senses would never return.

She let go of Haley and encased Millicent into a similar hug. "Thank you," she whispered in her ear. Brooke had never really been affectionate with Millicent, actually anyone in New York, she had been conditioned not to. But Millicent was her plane ride to New York; it was her ticket out of her melancholy. It was her ticket to the first step of removing her masked façade. It was her real ticket home.

"I guess I have to tell Jamie to put the pancakes on hold," she said running towards the house. Pancakes would have to wait for another day.

"Millicent, I cannot thank you enough. But can I ask you why?"

"Why what, Brooke?"

"Why are you doing this for me? I am not worth the effort."

"You are worth every single ounce Brooke."

"I haven't been a very good boss to you."

"You do not give yourself enough credit," something that was dually noted in all of Tree Hill. "I would still be selling magazines over the phone if it wasn't for you, Brooke. And you stick up for me; you stick up for me every single time. No one has ever done that for me, Brooke. I have always been a nobody, and I felt like a somebody with you."

"You were always a somebody, Millicent."

"No, I really wasn't. I sold magazines over the phone so I wouldn't have to face the real world. I was never popular, never had that many friends, not like you. Regardless of my previous status, you allowed me into your fancy world, Brooke. No one has ever invited me in."

"It was their losses, because I got a pretty kick-ass assistant, and an even more kick-ass friend," it was the first time that she said it aloud to Millicent. Employer and employee do not have to be friends; they do not even have to like each other – exhibit A: Brooke and Victoria, but Millicent had blossomed into a friend over the years. With out her, "I do not know where I would be without you. There was no way I could have handled the company or my mother. So many days I just wanted to quit, quit at everything, but you assured me it would be worth it. And today it is worth it. Thank you, Millie."

"Thank you, Brooke," they had their own appreciation for each other.

"Okay, enough of that gushy stuff, I got to save my tears for later," just imagining what was in store for her with her confrontation with Victoria. There was no way in hell, she could possibly remain tearless. And if tears do fall, it does not make her weak, it makes her purely alive. Damn, Victoria for making her believe anything else. "Want to meet the cutest boy in the whole world, who just happens to be my godson, so I might be a little bias?"

"I want to meet the boy who puts a smile on your face," she looked at the beaming smile coming from Brooke's face, and saw how real it was. It was not plastered on, Millicent wanted to meet the person who allowed Brooke to reveal herself – even if it was just a smile. For it was more smile than she had ever seen. That James Lucas Scott was truly the healer of all.

**AN: We got some hope, things are starting to look up, I promise. It will not be perfect, not yet, but there is still time for a lifetime of happiness. We just have to get to that point. Anyways, thanks for the reviews. Happy Holidays. Peace.**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Hey all. I know that this the longest period between updates to date, so I apologize. I hope it was worth some wait. This is a big chapter, in conversations, reveals, and literal length. I hope that you are pleased with the results. It the beginning of a large turning point in the story. So that is it, please enjoy.**

Twenty minutes later the quad was ready, at least they were packed. Mentally, not quite, but they were out the door. Brooke had offered Lucas and Lindsey to come with them, strength in numbers, but they thought it would be best if they stayed. Lucas did not want to leave Lindsey alone, and he knew that Haley did not want them all to leave Tree Hill. It was best for all.

Just to reassure Haley, "Hales, I will call you, I promise you. I will even go over to talk to him today," giving his best friend a much needed hug. He had a night to regain is composure, but the anger was not gone. Nonetheless, he was his blood, and if he needed Lucas, Lucas would do what was necessary. And if he didn't want it, then he would persevere because Haley needed Lucas and Nathan in her life. Haley always came first.

"Thanks, Luke," hugging him back, then she watched her son do his routine good-bye with his uncle. Jamie put a smile on his face, how could the adorable child not change the world?

With all the goodbyes if felt as if they were leaving for an eternity, hopefully just the day. It would be another long one; no one could possibly predict it to be easy. It was a good thing that the occupants of the car were used to hard, for that is where they were heading towards.

Haley sat in the backseat with Jamie so she could hold onto him, "I got to keep you safe, Little Man," Haley told him as he held on.

"I can sit on some magazines."

"Magazines? What will that do for you, Jamie?"

Brooke looked into the mirror with a smile; she knew that a five year old could not keep a secret like this very long. She just hoped Haley would not be angry with her for endangering Jamie. "So I am off the seat."

Haley laughed at his son's eccentric ploy, "Where did you get idea?"

"Aunt Brooke."

"Oh, Aunt Brooke," she said holding on tighter to her son.

"Oops, I don't think I was supposed to tell you that," covering his mouth.

"Haley, I didn't have a car seat and he wanted to see you, I didn't know what to do," afraid now that she was upset.

"Brooke, it is okay, the ride is short, and it looks like he survived the ride. If you are sitting around though, let's invest in one for you though," secretly hoping that Brooke would really stay home in Tree Hill, where Haley truly believed that she belonged.

"Sounds good to me," silently acknowledging Haley's sentiment.

"So Millicent," Jamie was curious about all the new people entering his young life, "what kind of things do you do for Aunt Brooke?"

"Well, Jamie, I make phone calls, book appointments, order clothes…"

"That sounds boring," before she even finished the endless list of tasks.

"Oh, it is, Jamie," Brooke told him, just now really understanding all that Millicent does for her on a typical basis.

"It is not, Jamie, I like what I do. And Brooke is a great boss," sticking up for Brooke. She was a good boss, the tasks might not be the most exciting, but things could have been a whole lot worst. She Millicent was grateful for the tedious tasks.

"Aunt Brooke who is your boss?"

The truth, it was Victoria who bossed her around, but Brooke had to be in charge, "I don't have a boss, Buddy."

"No one tells you what to do?"

"Not anymore," it was the affirmation that Haley and Millicent needed to hear about their friend. "No one does, anymore," and it was Brooke's confirmation that she was not going to back down and be weakened by the person that was her mother.

Once they boarded the plane, there was no turning back, she had to do this. Haley put a comforting hand on Brooke's silently telling her that she understood, she understood all of the feelings running through Brooke's head. Haley leaned in, "You are Brooke Davis, and don't you forget that."

"I am Brooke Davis," she said softly looking back at Haley, but eyeing Jamie. He was one excited little boy. He wanted to sit next to the window, so he could watch everything. He also wanted to sit next to Millicent. Brooke watched as they bantered back and forth. Again she had to smile; the smile on Jamie's face gave her strength and hope. She was just hoping on the plane ride home Jamie would not be her only means, that she could finally have it in her reach. Time would only tell. It was all anyone really had.

Once they were in the air Brooke eyes shut and she was in a slumber, the poor girl's life exhausted her. And on this short plane ride there was no place she could go, and no necessary thoughts to accompany her. So she slept because she could. She simply slept.

"Can I wake her?"

"Let her sleep, Jamie."

"The plane is about to land."

"She is tired."

"We are going to land," he insisted, "Please can I wake her?"

"James Lucas Scott, when are you going to learn that people do not like to be awoken from their slumber, maybe when you are a teenager?"

"Please," he did not listen to his mother's demands.

"You already did, you kook," Brooke reached out for Jamie, using Haley's words.

"Seatbelt," the mother in Haley called out.

Brooke fastened Jamie's seatbelt; she was so going to have to learn the motherly rules, for she was sticking around.

"We are about to land, Aunt Brooke. I have never been to New York before. What is it like?" the curious boy pondered.

"There are a lot of tall buildings, a whole lot of people, and a huge park."

"I want to go to the park," Brooke was glad that Jamie could be a child in all of this, after all, he was. The adults in his life sometimes forgot, and allowed him to live as he was one of them. But sometimes it was just too much for a five year old to handle, not a park though, a park suited the child perfectly.

"How about ice skating?"

"In the park?"

"Of course."

"Momma, can we go ice skating in the park?"

"We will see, Jamie, it depends if we have time."

"I have never seen an ice skating ring in a park, Momma, please."

"We will see," she didn't want to agree to anything that she could not uphold, he had too much disappointment already, she vowed no more.

Jamie accepted, it was better than a definitive no. "What else are we going to do?" he did not know the complete reasoning for coming to New York.

"You are going to see my company."

"Do you have anything fun to do there?"

"Umm, you can make your own magazine."

"Cool!" he was bought, and she was glad, because in actuality her company did not really suit a child. Hell, she was an adult, and she was not sure it was safe for her.

Thirty minutes later she was at the scene of her own Hellmouth. She loved her company, but there were so many days that she despised going there, and it was due to Victoria.

She looked up, her name was in lights. Clothes ova Bros was worth millions of dollars. People on the streets were wearing her clothes. Brooke Davis had made it. And now she had her family by her side. Haley and Jamie both held one of her hands, and they walked through the swirling doors. It was finally time to get the last thing on her list. It was time for her happiness.

Millicent had walked ahead, Brooke assumed that she was going to try to tame Victoria, and reassure the committee that Brooke was in fact coming. Brooke took small steps, really taking in everything around her. There had been so many days that she flew in, right to her office, trying to see how much time she had until her next obligation. She never had time to see what her company had amounted to. A job well done, Brooke. She was young, and she was successful, but she never took it all in. Not once, she was always in a rush to go here or there. And now she had to go there again, hopefully for the last time.

Haley was doing the same look around as Brooke; her friend did well, really well. Sometimes Haley had to wonder about her own dreams. Not her rock star one, which was a teenaged fantasy. But she had a son, and she had a husband, her rock star days had passed, and she was content with it all. Her passion was helping others, especially students, that was why she pursued a degree in education. Nonetheless, she was a student teaching credit away from graduating. She put everything on hold when Nathan got hurt; she thought it was what a spouse was supposed to do. She had not realized that putting things on hold would hurt her future, or her present. Maybe things were going to change now, just maybe they would.

"I'm proud of you Brooke, I am just sorry that I missed it all," Haley told her friend.

"I don't think that anyone has ever told me that. They are just telling me what to do next, never stopping to see what I have. To tell you the truth, neither have I. I did do pretty well, didn't I?" finally acknowledging her success.

"You sure did, I hope that you take more time to realize it," giving Brooke a reassuring side hug, "And to realize how young you still are. You grew up so fast, it is no wonder that success came early to you, but don't forget that the whole world is not this harsh. And you can still have a little fun."

"I think it is time to have a little fun, what do you think, Jamie? How would you like to be the face of my latest magazine?"

The boy's face lit up, "My own magazine? Momma, can I?"

"What about the meeting, Brooke?" she asked as she looked down at her watch, it was ten minutes to twelve. Haley had to infer that Victoria was not happy at all, and making her wait would not help the situation.

"Meetings are boring; don't you think so, Jamie?"

"Yeah, meetings are boring," agreeing with his godmother, "what is a meeting for?" not really sure what he was agreeing to.

"More boring things, things that are not important. So what about that magazine," grabbing the little boy's hand walking away.

"Brooke," Haley called out in desperation, what was Brooke doing now? She was so close, how could she be walking away?

Brooke turned around into eyes she expected, "Are you coming or not, Haley?"

"Brooke," she said again in disbelief, shaking her head.

"So are you?" completely ignoring Haley's unasked question.

"Well somebody needs to go to the meeting, and it appears you aren't. I will do my best to save your company from a woman I only know from her bone-crushing words. Wish me luck," it was ridden in sarcasm, but she truthfully didn't know how to speak to Brooke. And she sure as hell could not say what she really wanted to say in front of her son.

It was Brooke this time trying to pull Haley back in, "Haley," but what could she say? It was cowardly, walking off with her godson, Haley was right. She just could not admit that through everything she could not face Victoria. Not yet at least.

Haley just looked out at Brooke; Brooke was a scared and timid child, forced into adulthood too early. Haley could not scold her, and she could not let her down. She just hoped that the committee would not deem Brooke unstable if she didn't show up. All Haley could do was plead for Brooke's case, and if that was not enough, well it was going to have to be.

As Haley walked away Brooke knew that her decision was incorrect, she could not let Haley fight her battles. She was fighting enough of her own. "Jamie, lets go get started on that magazine, what is your favorite color?"

"Blue!"

"Well blue it is."

Ten minutes into Jamie Scott magazine making, Brooke could not handle it any longer, "Jamie, I think we need to go to that meeting after all, is that okay?"

"Even though it is boring?" not really wanting to pull away from the adventure of magazine making – especially his own.

"Yeah, especially because it is boring. I promise you though, once it is done, we will make your magazine and go ice skating in the park. Deal?"

"Deal," grabbing Brooke's hand again as they were off. It was easy to please the boy.

Fear encased each step, but she carried on. She had to. She had to for Haley, and she had to for herself. For once, she had to do it for herself.

They got to the door, but they didn't go right in. Her hand was on the handle, she put her ear on the door. Victoria was inside. But so was Haley. Haley trumped Victoria, she took a deep breath. She was still alive today. She turned the handle and was presented in front of the ten member board. It was the moment of truth.

"Oh Brooke Davis decides to join us for her own meeting, maybe there is a little sense left in the girl," the venom escaping from Victoria's mouth was poisonous, Brooke did not want it to harm anyone else. Especially Jamie, she scooted him over to Millicent – who looked pale. What did she miss already, Brooke wondered.

Here it was, she was not going to back down, it was her time, and if she let it go, then for once it would be her fault. "Actually, there is a lot of sense left, there always have been."

"Oh dear, we all know that you have gotten by with your looks, you got some good genes I have to admit."

"The only thing I got from you that I am grateful for is life. So thank you mother. But that is the only gratitude I will ever give you," her words were encased in strength; for once her footing was stable.

Victoria heartless laugh filled the room, "Brooke, without me your company would still be in your bedroom."

"As you might recall it was the bedroom that Brooke and I shared, since you did not provide her with a proper home to live in," Haley had to practice for her talk with Nathan. She knew it would not go over well with Victoria, but she was sure going to try to stick up for her friend in any way that she could. Her son was going to see a new side of her today.

"Okay, I am still unsure what you are doing here at all, especially in this room. But since you are, how dare you criticize my parenting. You try having an ungrateful child. We gave Brooke whatever she wanted, and it was never enough."

"She didn't want what you gave her. What she wanted you could care less about, if it wasn't attainable by money then it was out of the picture. How dare you even call yourself a parent at all?"

"This coming from the girl who had a child at sixteen, and out of wedlock."

"I was seventeen, and I was married. I was in love; you have no right to judge me."

"Was? The honeymoon is over?" catching Haley's past tensed words.

"I am in love."

"Are you justifying it for me or for yourself there?"

It silenced her. Victoria doesn't even know her other than a few actions, and she was silenced by her. The magnitude of Victoria's evil was spurting out left and right.

"Leave her out of this," Brooke broke Haley's silence as she protectively stepped between Haley and Victoria's evil glance. She was going to apologize profusely to Haley later, it was wrong of her to let Haley try and fight her own battle in the first place.

"My momma loves my daddy," Jamie shouted out from Millicent's protective grasp.

"What is this? The circus? Why are all of these people here, Brooke?"

"They are my family," yes they were.

"That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. What am I then, Brookie?" using the nickname that was not at all endearing.

"You, Victoria, you are fired."

"Fired? Did you just say fired? I do not work for you. I am your mother."

"I know that, you are fired."

"You cannot fire me, she cannot fire me," this time looking to the board that had remained silent up until this point. "You see, she is not stable. First she leaves without telling anyone, now she fires me. Fires me, I cannot be fired," hands wailing in her disbelief.

"It is my company."

"It would be nothing without me, Brooke, nothing at all. Just a book full of designs."

"If that is all I am left with from this company, I will be content. I came in with my designs, and if I leave without the same, nothing is lost. But I am leaving with my family. And that was something I did not have when I began."

"You will lose everything if you let me go."

"I already did, I let you go a long time ago. I just wished that I never tried to hold on in the first place. I wasted too much time just hoping that you would turn around and just love me," she admitted her pain, all of it in that one sentiment. "Why couldn't you just love me?"

"I gave you everything," it was her way to justify not answering the only question that Brooke ever wanted answered.

"I only wanted one thing."

"You wanted love? How childish is that? Most children would die for what you had, you are an ungrateful child."

"No, I am not a child. I never was. I was never given the opportunity to be one. I had to care for myself when the babysitters and the nannies rather would have drunk themselves into stupors, or have sex with their boyfriends in the guest bedrooms. I fed myself, clothed myself, I did my homework. Everything a child should never had to do by herself, but I did. When I went to school I realized that no other classmate did the same. And during school events the auditorium was filled with proud parents, I had no idea where mine was. So no, I am not a child. You took that away from me too."

"Boo hoo, Brooke. Are you going to cry now too, and make me out for the worst parent of the year?"

"I already cried too many tears for you; my tears are not meant for you. Not anymore. And Victoria, you are not the worst parent of the year; you are simply the worst ever."

"Fine, Brooke, fine, if you want me out of your life, wish granted. It is what I have wanted for the last 22 years, so thank you for giving me what I always wanted."

"I knew it, I knew it. You never even wanted me."

"See, you really aren't that bright, Brooke. It took you a long time to realize this. I didn't want children, but your father wanted a son. But we got you, Brooke, we got you."

"I am sorry I was such a disappointment," Brooke told Victoria that she wouldn't cause Brooke's tears to fall, but it was hard to keep them in with the new revelation. She briefly looked away into Haley's watchful eyes. However, Haley's eyes were also on her son. Haley could not imagine the wrath that Victoria had for her own daughter. Jamie was the true love of her life, how could a parent not love their child?

"Victoria," Haley ended her forced silence, bracing the presence between Victoria and herself.

"What is it, Miss James?"

"Thank you," ignoring Victoria's attempt to tear her even further down. She was Haley James Scott, she knew it, she did not have justify it for the bitch that Victoria was.

"Thank you? Why are you thanking me?" completely flabbergasted.

"For Brooke."

"Oh you can have her."

"We already do have her; she is part of our family. And if you hadn't been such an awful mother to her, our family might not have been so full."

"How quaint. I am glad someone is happy."

"Oh, I am not happy. I would have given it all up for Brooke's happiness, all of it, because it means something to me. It means everything to me, actually. And it breaks my already fragile heart that a mother could not love her own daughter. Especially Brooke. You do not even realize how caring, successful, intelligent, and beautiful she is. And I give you no credit it all. I actually feel sorry for you; you missed out on so much. I am glad that Brooke is letting you go though; she has been pained way too long. So thank you for giving us Brooke, I am going to make sure that Brooke never has to question if she is loved again."

"Thank you, Haley, but I think I can do it from here," more than grateful for Haley's endearing words. "How about you take Jamie so he can finish his magazine?"

"Brooke," again, just a name could be said without revealing everything behind the pause. Nothing else had to be said.

"Haley, take your son, please."

"Yes, Haley, take your son," Victoria demanded, "this meeting is about the status of Clothes ova Bros, and the words might not be friendly."

"Jamie, I want to see that magazine of yours, come show me," Haley tried to pull his son along even though she did not want to leave Brooke during the current situation.

"But Aunt Brooke said that we could finish it together."

"Buddy, she cannot come right now, can I help you?"

"Who is going to help Aunt Brooke?"

"I will help her, kid. I am going to make things a lot easier for her," Victoria told Jamie.

"Don't talk to him," Brooke demanded, she did not want one ounce of evil to be leaked to the innocent boy's aura.

"C'mon, Jamie, we are going," it was not a question anymore, it was not safe. She had not been doing a good job with his security, she had to start somewhere.

"I don't want to leave, Brooke," he was in front of her now, "I don't want to leave you."

She got down to his level. This meeting was no place for a boy of five; it was barely a place for her. "Jamie, I am going to be okay if you leave. I want to see what kind of magazine you can make me. Could you do that for me? It would really help me out."

"How about you just come with us?"

"I can't. Not yet. I have to do some boring things first," hoping a chance of boredom would scare him off.

"Is it with her," pointing towards Victoria, "because she is not very nice?"

"Like I could possibly care what I three year old has to say."

"I am five."

"Whoop-de-doo."

"Jamie, you really need to go."

"Listen, kid, she is saying something right for once."

It was time to be the hero, eyes locked with Victoria's, "My momma has never said anything to ever make me cry. My momma has never said mean words to me. Or done mean things on purpose. I know how much she loves me. But Aunt Brooke doesn't know because you are her momma. And you are not a very nice one. I just met her, but I know she loves me. And I love her too. Moms aren't supposed to be mean to their kids. They are supposed to love them no matter what. You are not a very good momma," Haley had tears streaming down her face. Jamie knew how much that she loved him, regardless of the events of the last four months. Her tears were not out of sadness, not today, these were streaming with happiness.

"Like I could possibly care what a five year old has to say."

"I care, Victoria. He is the reason I am here today. He is the reason I will fight a little harder. Without him I would have conformed to the person you have always wanted me to be. Dumb. Empty. Rail thin. Alone, all alone. I am not going to be your mannequin anymore. You know what? Victoria, you can have it, you can have it all. I don't even want it anymore." She looked to the board, "Just give me the papers and I will terminate my participation with the company."

"Ms. Davis," one of the head members began, "are you sure this is what you want? If your signature is on the paper, it is final."

"I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life. I am grateful for where the company has taken me, but I am ready for the next step in my life. I want to be with my family. We have four years to catch up on. Oh, and it is Brooke, my name is Brooke," she was simply Brooke. "Send me the papers, I have some obligations to my godson," grabbing Jamie's hand heading towards the door, leaving everyone in the room stunned.

"Brooke," Victoria had the audacity to stop her.

"What is it, Victoria?"

"You will have nothing. You will be no one. Your greatest fear will come true," it was her last attempt at dashing her happiness.

Too late Victoria, because Brooke was no longer alone, and she would never be again, "You are the one who is wrong. Right now I have everything I could ever want. Thank you for never loving me," that was the last words she would say to Victoria. She was done with her completely – finally. "Who's coming with us?" looking around to Millicent and Haley who were still shell-shocked about the last few minutes of events.

The young women both moved, Haley said nothing, but followed Brooke and Jamie out of the meeting room. Millicent paused, and turned to Victoria, "I quit."

Victoria's heinous laugh returned, "How am I ever going to survive?" saying words that she did not mean.

"I doubt you will. Brooke was this company. You may be in charge of it now, but Clothes ova Bros will be defunct without her. So I wish you luck, Victoria, but you are going nowhere. And I could care less about it. Brooke was your greatest loss; you can live with that regret."

"The only thing I regret is ever allowing Brooke to keep you around. Get off the property before I call security."

"You are a bitch," and she was off, it was her last mark on things. Brooke deserved the world and Victoria had taken it all away. The least Millicent could do was to curse her mother.

**AN: One girl's confronation done, one to go. It is a huge step for Brooke, let's just hope that Haley is going to be able to build up the same courage. Please, please, let me know what you think about this latest reveal. Thanks for reading, it keeps me going. Peace.**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So I am glad that you were pleased with the confrontation. Brooke needed it, and Haley needed to see Brooke's strength so she could gather her own. **

Brooke let out a squeal, not in anger, but something new, excitement, relief. And it was not relief that she was simply breathing, it was relief that she was really alive and no longer would she be poisoned by Victoria Davis. "I feel good, so good. Don't you feel good?" picking up Jamie, swirling him around in her joy. She didn't really give him a chance to answer, "I feel good. I want a cheeseburger, no, I want two. And French fries. You hungry, Jamie? I hope so, because I am. And I don't care where it ends up. I just don't care. I don't care," she said as it was for the first time. In fact it was.

But it was too much, it was just too heavy of a load – especially with the body in which was carrying it. She put Jamie down. "Aunt Brooke, are you okay?" he didn't quite understand her sporadic behavior or her pale complexion that just plastered her face.

Haley had caught up with the duo, placing a hand on Brooke's arm, "Yeah, Brooke, are you okay?" The concern could not go away, not yet. It was so much to take in, and Haley wasn't sure if Brooke was ready for it all. Certainly not the immensity of it all.

"Haley, I have never felt this way in my entire life," and it was true, but not to the same effect as she wished. She suddenly became extremely light-headed, and everything came crashing done – herself included. Haley's support was not enough to stabilize her, and Brooke ended up on the ground. This did not quell any of Haley's fears, it just solidified them.

"Brooke!" she was on the floor almost as quick as Brooke had fallen.

Brooke could not speak; she looked up into eyes that held such concern. All she could do was cry. It was realization of what she had just done. She gave away everything. She gave away everything to a woman that had caused so much pain in Brooke's life. It appeared as if Victoria was now satisfied, but what about Brooke? What was she supposed to do? The tears that glistened on her face were due to the overwhelming feeling she was experiencing, and simply because she didn't know what else to do.

Haley held on, she held onto Brooke for dear life. She was not going to let go, not until she was ready. There had been too many people to let go of Brooke's life, and that led her on an unstable pathway to now. Now was where she was, and Brooke was not happy, she was not okay. Haley didn't know what to do either, so she accompanied her friend, and allowed her own tears to fall. She wanted Brooke to know that she was not alone. After all, Brooke hypothesized this would happen. But her tears would not make her weak, just simply alive. And regardless of her stability, Brooke knew she was still kicking, she was alive. It was the first time that tears had fallen and she had this sentiment. It was the first step, the first of many.

Millicent had come to the scene. It was in the middle of the hall. Everyone could see, but at the same time it felt as if Haley and Brooke were the only ones there. Millicent knew that the girls felt that way. She put her hand to her mouth. There was so much realness in the scene, so much realness that Millicent had never seen before. Brooke was so much more than the person that had appeared before her. She was glad that it was finally revealed. It sure took long enough, Brooke Davis. Millicent looked down to see a little boy attached to her leg. She was positive that Jamie Scott would be the best company.

It was too much for the boy to take in, but he couldn't let it be known. He had to be strong. He was the hero. Heroes do not crumble. Especially over spilt tears. But it was hard to watch two people that he loved and admired in so much pain. He knew his life had been short, but it had been eventful. It really conditioned him, and matured him into the person he was. He knew not to break the tears, so he found comfort in Millicent. He liked Millie. Jamie was genuinely grateful for the new people entering his life. He needed this, his mother needed it, and he was sure that in the long run so did his father. He wondered what would have happened if this had happened earlier. But there was no time left to wonder, not even for a five year old. It was the present, and there was still plenty more tears to be shed. He would take the initiative to catch them all. After all he was Lucas Scott' nephew and predecessor.

Brooke had been wrong about one thing. The words she said to Victoria in the boardroom would not be her last. The devil herself had emerged from the room and found her former daughter sprawled on the floor. How could she possibly pass up an opportunity to rub it all in? "A little early to be drinking, dear, don't you think?"

Any attempt at getting to her feet was unsuccessful. Truth be told she was just too weak. It was all too much, and she was physically too weak. She was going to have to work on her strength. That was next on the list. Well after erasing every ounce of Victoria from her life. "No, Victoria, I haven't had a drink in six months. Wouldn't want it end up anywhere unsightly." She could lie to Victoria now, but the truth to Haley would have to come out eventually.

"I was just trying to help you out. The camera adds ten pounds, and well you already added ten yourself."

Brooke may not have been strong enough to come to her feet, but Haley was. The anger attributed. "It is not okay what you do, what you did. There was nothing wrong with her appearance, but you made her believe that she had to be perfect. No one is perfect, Victoria."

"How do you know? You weren't there." She laughs that evil laugh, "Oh that is right, Brooke didn't want you around."

"It was your delusion that I fell for so stupidly. I admit my fault. But how dare you pluck everyone away from Brooke. All this shows is that you were insecure, and you had to make Brooke appear worst off than you."

"Oh is that true, did you uncover my master plan? Brooke's best interest was always on the forth front. I made sure that the success of the company was in full swing."

"So it really wasn't Brooke's interest you were pursuing, it was the company. And you really didn't care if Brooke was harmed in the process, did you?"

"She was never harmed. Brooke led a life that anyone of her age would have dreamed of living. And it was her paradise. I gave it to her."

"You gave it to her?" Haley had to laugh out, but not in the pure evilness as Victoria, but in disbelief. "Everything that Brooke had she earned herself. I do not care if you brought in more customers and more expensive materials. No one would buy anything without Brooke's designs. You were unnecessary."

"So that is the reason she called me begging me to help her out."

"You were her mother," making sure she used the past tense, "she hoped that you would be willing to help her out, it was not out of desperation. It was out of admiration. Now we can see it was mistaken."

"No one else could have done what I did for her," now speaking as if Brooke wasn't collapsed onto the floor.

"Maybe that is true. But she would have been a lot better off if you hadn't returned. And your reason was not motherly; it was with the hope of a prospering company, never a happy daughter. How selfish could you possibly be?"

"You know nothing about me or my life. So don't you dare speak to me like you do. I guided her in the right direction."

"And how do you classify it as right? Was it the right direction for her to be practically starving herself hoping to create a better persona? The persona was for you, no one else was demanding it. But she complied, and you know why? Because she thought that if she did everything that you wanted her to do, that maybe, just maybe, you would love her. It is clear that you would only be satisfied if you were burying her. And that is not something you will be doing in this lifetime."

"Overdramatic much. Obviously, you know nothing about this industry. Image is extremely vital. I pushed her in the right direction."

"No you pushed her into an eating disorder."

"She looks fine, really good actually," eyeing Brooke on the ground. She was thin, really thin. Maybe she needed that extra ten pounds the camera added.

"Oh, the first compliment you ever gave her. And you are the kind of people that she is trying to satisfy. You are the kind of person in which would not be content until the girl can no longer stand on her feet due to the exhaustion of it all. Well you got your wish, Brooke is on the floor. Are you happy now?"

"It was never my intention for this result."

"There you go again, placing yourself in the main picture. You think it is all about you, your actions and your demands. It is not about you, it never has been. But you don't see that, and Brooke has been extracted from a place where she belongs. You took it away, you took everything away."

"No, actually, she just gave it to me. So if you will excuse me, Ms. James, I have a company to run," she would never buy anything that Haley was speaking. It may have been founded in truth, but Victoria was stubborn, and she would never admit someone else was right. Even if it was her own daughter. Well her former daughter, she no longer held the responsibility.

"I hope you are happy," Brooke stopped Victoria's forward progress. She had asked Haley for a hand to help her up. She needed Haley's support to keep her upright.

"I haven't been this happy since before I knew of your existence," she said facing Brooke. She would never speak with her back to Brooke. Victoria wanted the whole effect, hoping that her facing presence would win Brooke over. It always had before.

"I am glad that I could grant you your wish. Please just answer me one question though, and I promise you it will be the last I ever ask of you. Why? Why couldn't you just love me? I would have given away all the expensive clothes, my car, the house, every single thing if you would just have asked me about my day. Why didn't you love me?"

"You cannot be loved, Brooke."

Even though her physicality failed her, she was still strong enough, the adrenaline still rushing through her veins. "You are wrong. And I know you will deny it. In my opinion I think you blame me for every misstep in your life. Go ahead, by all means. But at the end of the day, you are all alone. The difference between you and me is that that is how I used to spend my nights, but that is how you always will. Have fun being a lonely bitch."

"I don't need anyone."

"Yeah, I tried that, and it did not go over so well for me. No one can do it alone. Not even you, Victoria. So you can try, but when you fail, I will not be here. No, I won't be here. I will be in Tree Hill, North Carolina with my family. Something you will never know anything about. So, goodbye, Victoria, have fun alone."

The bitch was finally silenced. She went off on her high horses with her head in the air trying to discard everything that Brooke had just spoken. Regardless, she knew that Brooke was right. She would just never be caught accepting it.

The victory was short-lived. The weight of the world was still falling down among Brooke. And even with the support of Haley, Brooke could not sustain it. The duo collapsed to the floor together. "I am so sorry," Brooke said tearfully into Haley's eyes. Brooke really felt as if she had failed Haley. She just couldn't do it anymore, the façade, it was gone. This was the real Brooke, and the real Brooke couldn't pretend to be someone that she was not. Not anymore.

Haley put both hands around Brooke's face, "I never want you to apologize, never, Brooke. I am so proud of what you did today. You have nothing to apologize for, do you hear me? The strongest person in the world could not have endured what you just endured. No one else is Brooke Davis. I am so proud of her. I am so proud of you," gently kissing Brooke's forehead, before pulling the girl into embrace.

Millicent and Jamie were the unfortunate audience of the last several minutes. And it was not pretty. They got a little closer to the scene, but did not want to break the barriers. They were sacred barriers that the viewers could not intrude on. But there was still something that could be done. "Jamie, New York City has the best food in the world. How about we got get some? Well that is in case it is okay with your Mom?" quickly eyeing Haley for her approval. She was unsure that Haley would be willing to let a girl that met her son only this morning to take him away.

"I think it is exactly what we need," Haley said giving Millicent the approval nod. Truthfully, Haley never wanted Jamie out of her sight again, but times called for his safety. It was something that she had excelled at in the last several months. It was time for his security, and Millicent would be the perfect person to abide by it.

Nonetheless, before the outsiders could depart, Jamie had to break through some barriers. He had many caps, but right now he was just a curious and concerned five year old, "What's wrong Aunt Brooke?" placing a hand on her shoulder. He didn't understand. He knew pain. His father was in pain. He knew anger. His father was angry. He knew sadness. His mother was sad. But Brooke's combination was a new ball game to him. It appeared that she was physically not well. It appeared as if she was breaking. Before this moment he thought that only dolls could break. Why was his godmother doing the same?

Haley didn't know if she should answer her son, or let Brooke respond. She left room for pondering. And in return, Brooke had the words for Jamie. "I have the chicken pox," she said sadly knowing that Jamie would understand. He was Haley's smart boy after all.

"But you are going to get better, right?"

"Did your chicken pox go away?"

"Of course, I don't have it anymore."

"Well then soon I hope that I can say the same."

"Me too," giving her a gentle hug. He gave his mom one as well, and then turned to grab Millicent's hand.

"You come back now, you hear?" Haley called out. She was not losing him.

"I will always come back. Even when I am old."

"Good, because I will always be here."

As Jamie turned back around, an extremely confused Millicent asked the question on her mind, "Does Brooke really have the chicken pox? I didn't see any pox."

The boy laughed at Millicent, "Not the itchy kind of chicken pox. Like my daddy has chicken pox right now because he is angry, and my momma has them because she is sad. I am not sure what exactly kind Aunt Brooke has. But they are all going to get better. Chicken pox doesn't last forever, you know?"

"Actually, I don't. I never got it."

Again the boy could smile, "Well, take my word for it. It goes away, it all goes away," life summed up by a five year old.

"What are you thinking, Brooke?" Haley asked once Millicent and Jamie were out of sight. She looked into those hazel eyes, and there was still so much sadness, so much distance from the finish line. Haley knew the experience would not paint happiness into Brooke's eyes right away. But she was a dreamer, and that is what she wanted for her best friend.

"I am thinking that I gave away my company to a woman that never loved me," she saw Haley's pursed lips just dying to interrupt. But Brooke continued, "But I am also thinking how free I feel," and Haley relaxed her lips slightly in relief of Brooke's revelation. "I am free of the wrath that has been caging me in. I finally know what I want and I can reach it. It has never been reachable before. I am free."

"Brooke, your strength inspires me. It inspires me to turn around my world, and this path I am on. I am not happy, my family is not happy. And because what you did today, I am going to change it. I am going to change the course that we have been on. It is because of you."

"You got me to this point."

"No way, Brooke, you got yourself here. I just rode the plane with you."

"Haley, I came to Tree Hill so I could escape it. Escape everything that has been tearing me down here. My intentions were selfishly motivated. But I came home to peril; it was not what I expected. And I never expected to put my emotions on the forefront. It was going to be a cover up for the rest of my life if I had to. And at the unfortunate rate I was going, it could not have been long. The second you reentered my life my life expectancy increased. I would still be in the dark if you had not pulled me out."

"I would be there too if your so called selfish trip hadn't happened. Whatever your motive for coming home was, I am grateful. I am grateful that I can have my friend back in my life. You ignited a fire in me that I thought was extinct in my life. I know my battle is not over, but because of you, it has begun."

"I am not a very religious person; the only time I even have faith in anything is when I am asking God for something. This is the first time that I believe in His existence, and that we were brought together."

"Somebody has got to save us, save us from ourselves actually."

"At the rate it is going it looks like your son is turning into his uncle."

"He does have some savior qualities that little boy. Always trying to save us. I hope he has some gusto left in him though, I think I am still going to need it."

"You have a remarkable little boy, and as long as people need saving, he will be around."

"So what's next, Brooke? Where do you go from here?"

"We, it is us now, there is no more me. I have spent too many years wrapped up in me. What we are going to do next is to sit here and wait for Millicent to bring back some of the Big Apple's finest. And we eat, and on the floor because there is no way that I getting up without some nourishment. Then we finish Jamie's magazine, pack up my office, say my goodbyes and we are off. Off to Central Park so you can ice skate with your son. We can take him anywhere he wants, and when he tires we board the plane. We will go back to Luke's, and we will sleep until Jamie wakes us up. And then, Haley, you have to tell me what is next. Because that is where your story begins."

"Do I have to tell you now because the task still seems enormously harrowing to me."

"The time is yours, it is the only thing that we really always have. When your heart is ready we will go. And if your heart isn't, we will wait. I have nothing to do but wait with you. Nothing in this world is more pertinent."

And the girls did wait, and they waited, and waited until the food duo returned. Then they ate, and with some support Brooke got to her feet. She felt as if she was standing on stable ground again. It took a long time to get to this point, but the journey was worth the unstability. Jamie and Haley, they were worth it all. Victoria extracted so much out of her life, but without her, her family would not consist of the Scotts. So maybe she was grateful for more than just her life. In a way Victoria provided the opportunity for Brooke to have another life. Could it possibly been Victoria's plan along? The lady's nickname was Bitchtoria, there is no way in hell that she could have ever had Brooke's interest at heart. Regardless, Brooke was now surrounded by three of her favorite people in the world. Thank you Victoria for the results of her world. That was the last gratitude.

Brooke's plan went as she had imagined. Food. Magazine. Goodbyes. Now it was time for ice skating. She had to admit that she was no Michelle Kwan, but she would give it a try. What was the worst that could happen? She could fall. She had fallen many times before in life, and never until today did she have someone to help her up. She wouldn't mind falling today.

**AN: So I hope that you are not disappointed that the victory was short-lived. I just felt as this chapter would be the actual aftermath. She was physically weak before the meeting, and she had enough adrenaline to survive it. But she could only pretend so long, and her body failed her. I know this story appears kind of like a downer, but I ensure you that the end result will be worthy. Well at least I hope you think so. Don't worry though, there is still time. I like the time, and I want the time, in respect for Haley and Brooke. I hope that you respect it as well. Thanks for letting me know what you think, it helps me a lot. So please continue! Peace.**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: The beginning of this chapter is a little more upbeat than the last, but I do have to admit, there is more sadness. Enough already! I know. But we are getting there soon, I promise, so enjoy this chapter with that preface. **

Jamie was intrigued with all of the people walking around New York. Haley held on to her son. They had gotten so far, it wasn't the place to let go. However, seeing an ice skating rink in the middle of Central Park had the boy running. "Jamie!" Haley called out chasing after Jamie, leaving Millicent and Brooke to watch the scene with an amusing smile.

"You have one amazing godson there, Brooke," Millicent informed her. They hadn't spent that much time together, but the boy sure wowed her. He was an impressive child, and his perspective on the world was so different than anyone she had every interacted with. Let alone a child. Millicent wasn't even sure Jamie was a child as she conversed with him. She even asked him if he was sure that he was not just a really short adult. Negativo, Millicent, just a really intelligent five year old.

"I am finding this out each day. And I am only on day three. I do not know how I got so lucky," as she looked up to see Jamie tackling Haley. "But it really isn't about me. It is about the one getting tackled by her son."

"Jamie told me that she is sad, and that his dad is angry. He also told me that if he had to he would give up all of his toys – even Rockband – if his daddy would just tell them he loved them. It broke my heart."

"Join the club. If anybody in this entire world deserved to be loved unconditional it is that one. Look at him, in the face of everything that has happened in his short life he is still able to laugh. Sometimes I feel selfish for not being able to do the same."

"You are not selfish, Brooke. His pain has been short, and it appears as if yours was a lifetime long. I am really sorry for that, Brooke. I wish there was something that I could have done," not really knowing, but still offering.

"Millie, you have been wonderful. I am on the other hand awful to an extent. You are finally free to do what you want though. So what are your plans? What's next on the road for Millicent Huxtable?"

Millicent looked at Brooke completely confused. She knew that Brooke no longer had a company to run, but she was sure that it would not cease her dreams. "Brooke, I never felt stuck or tied down. It is not an escape of any sort. I actually was kind of hoping to follow you in your next endeavor."

"My next endeavor? I don't know, Millie. There is nothing up my sleeves to pursue. Having my own company was my goal, and I had it, I don't really know where to go from there."

"I am willing to wait, Brooke."

"Millicent, you are an intelligent, beautiful, talented, and hard working girl, there is so much that you can offer this world rather than waiting around for me to find a new dream."

"You are worth the wait, Brooke. But if you don't want me tagging along, I understand."

"No, no, Millie, that is not what I meant," grabbing her hand to reassure her. "I just don't want you to lose sight of what you want in my pursuit for something I don't even know exists."

"It is my choice entirely. And in all honesty, the last four years have been pretty nice – minus Victoria making me want to wet myself everyday. I don't have a boyfriend; I no longer have a job. My family is all over the world. You are all I know; I would be lost without you."

"And me the same, Millie. Thank you for what you said. Compliments aren't cheap around me, so your words mean a lot to me. How about you resolve things in New York, I let Haley resolve things back home, and if you decide you still want to, you come on down and you can be my roommate." Brooke knew that Millicent could not leave with them today; her last four years have been here. She deserved the time for transition. It would also give Brooke time to find a place of her own. If she was making a home out of Tree Hill then she needed a place to call home. Lucas' was getting a little crowded, though the company was worth the while.

"Thank you, Brooke. And don't worry whatever your dream should be will emerge when you are ready. Don't give up on those wishing stars."

"You either there Millie, if you come to Tree Hill you let me know when you see your dreams. You are not destined to be my assistant."

"You aren't destined to be unhappy either. Look at that smiling boy calling your name. Go skate with him."

"You aren't skating, Millie?"

"Brooke, I am a klutz, I will need the entire rink of ice to coat my body afterwards. I will watch and imagine what it would be like not to fall."

Brooke left Millicent and walked closer to where Haley was helping Jamie with his skates. "Why is Millie sitting over there?" Jamie asked looking up.

"She is afraid she is going to fall down. She is a little bit clumsy. I remember the time she broke her nose. She is going to kill me for telling this story, but it was just too funny. My first office had two see through doors. Well one was open and the other was not. Someone came in to bring me something and closed the door in which Millicent had entered through. She didn't know this, poor Millie ran right into it. And Millie being Millie was trying to schedule me a meeting while the ambulance was coming to get her."

"Millie is silly. Maybe it is a good thing that she isn't skating. What about you?"

"I have to tell you that I haven't done it in a long time, so don't laugh."

"I haven't done it in a while either so don't laugh at me either."

"He means that he has never skated before," looking at him, "you are the silly one, boy."

"Come on, lets get on the ice," grabbing the girls' hands.

They had no choice; they were on the ice in seconds laughing all the way. Time stood still as the trio skating around the rink. It was as if there were no worries, no pain, or no time lost. In reality it had been, but please don't tell them. They were grateful for their worlds ceasing for their laughter. At the current time it was not necessary to dwell on something they could not fix hundred of miles away. So they laughed because they could, and no one or no thing was stopping them. Not this time at least.

Nearly two hours later they all tired out. Truth be told, Jamie was the least exhausted of the three. The little boy had the fortunate ideal of sleeping, unlike Haley and Brooke who only slept in intervals. After the skates were removed they went over to Millicent. She had imagined herself on the ice; anything else would have caused bruising. And they were off, off to explore a city that Jamie had only heard about. Haley had stopped in New York on her tour which seemed like a lifetime ago. But it was through new lenses that she could take it all in. Last time she was in the city, it was a surreal and naïve experience; she couldn't believe that she was on a tour with Gavin DeGraw and the Wreckers. Her dream had come true. Unfortunately, at the time it was not best for her family. It was not best for Nathan. How could her mind ever stop reeling over Nathan? He was always on her mind. And she really wondered about him, being alone in a house he bought for them with money he was never able to allow prosper. She left him once, and now more than ever she felt as if she had betrayed him. It was time to go home to her husband. It was time to make a better decision than she did last time. And if it wasn't enough this time, well than unfortunately it was not meant to be.

Brooke's whole outlook on the city was changed as well. There was so much wonderment she was experiencing along with her godson. The city was so big, and she felt so small in it. She felt so small in the world she was living as well. However, Brooke Davis was a force, a massive force, that one day would take a hold of the world. Just go on and wait, world, one day Brooke Davis will change it. Today wasn't that day. Well at least it wasn't the day for the change, but she could still change Haley's. She looked over at her friend, and the wonderment that surrounded them was not shining as bright around Haley. Brooke knew what was on Haley's mind, and it was not Time Square. It was Nathan, and that meant it was time to go home.

"I'm getting pretty tired, Jamie, would you mind if we headed home?" Brooke didn't want Jamie to blame Haley for ending their tour early. And she knew that Haley would never try and take away his joy. But this was best, this was best for Haley. She needed to be home, and she needed to talk to Nathan. Haley's healing needed to have begun time ago. All the time they had was now though, and they would not waste one more minute interrupting Haley's picture perfect fairy tale. After all there are always happy endings, well just after all the monsters and demons go away. It was time for Haley's happy ending, but first the destruction of demons.

The little boy didn't really have a choice, and he knew it. He looked from Brooke to Millicent to his mom. The sadness was still there. He wasn't naïve enough to believe New York City's magic would erase it, but he was a little boy after all, and his dreams were unselfish. "I'm ready, just as long as we can come back here sometime to ice skate in the park."

"I promise you, anytime you want," Brooke vowed, "I would do anything for you."

"Anything?" he inquired.

"Oh no, Brooke, you might have just gotten yourself in trouble," Haley warned her friend.

"I said anything, and I mean anything," hoping she could suffice the anything Jamie wanted, "what is it, Jamie?"

"Can we go see Daddy tonight?"

An anything she was not so sure she could grant him. It was too soon to confront Nathan. They had only been away a day. Was that enough time for him to change his ways? Was he even going to change? What happens if he decides that alone is what he wants? Brooke wasn't so sure she could handle that, let alone allow her family to experience it. They were the unfortunate co-recipients of Victoria's wrath, it would simply be too painful for them to have to feel Nathan's as well. "I don't know, Jamie," she wasn't ready either, especially after the way she left him.

"You promised anything," his sad eyes were cutting through her.

"I know, Buddy, I shouldn't have promised anything, I was wrong."

"I want to see Daddy."

"I'm not so sure that he is ready to see us," Haley told her son, voicing her opinion on the matter. On top of that, she did not want Jamie there when she spoke with Nathan for the first time. She was not anticipating holding back; he did not deserve her too. The words would be too painful, and a child should not hear them.

"He is all alone." They knew it, they all knew it.

"Your Uncle Lucas and Lindsey went and saw him today."

"Are they there now?"

Truth be told, they hadn't spoken with Lindsey or Lucas today, so Haley and Brooke had no idea how any spoken words were between them. It could have been a disaster or it could have been earth-shaking. Truth be told, Haley was too afraid to find out.

"No, Honey, it is late."

"He is probably drinking, I wouldn't be allowed there anyways."

"You know it is because I love you, Jamie. I am not trying to take your father away from you. I would never want that."

"I know that Momma, but sometimes I just think he might be sad that I am not around."

"Jamie, it is not safe for you to be around him when he is drinking. If he misses you then he needs to stop, and I will feel comfortable with you being with him. But if it doesn't stop, Jamie," she paused because she had to tell her son something she was afraid to even speak. "Jamie, if he doesn't stop drinking, then we are not going back." She said it, and a heavy weight was released, but along with the weight was a sadness that weighed even more. She stopped walking, how could she possibly be okay with telling her son that he might lose his father for good. And. And, she might lose her one true love forever. She vowed to love him until one of them died, she did not vow to be apart that long.

"It isn't fair, why are you doing this to me? I want Daddy, you can't take him away." Jamie cried out. He has been upset, he has been angry, but never did he take it out on Haley. He saw the sadness in which Nathan encompassed her with. But now, in the middle of New York City, he blamed her. He blamed her because right now, he couldn't blame him.

Haley tried to embrace Jamie, but he wouldn't take it. His arms were flailing as Haley tried to console him. He left her presence, but her sadness wore her down every single step. And he was gone.

"Jamie, Jamie," she cried out for him, with tears heavily drowning her face. Yet she couldn't move, she couldn't move and her son needed her. What kind of mother was she trying to take away her son's father? Maybe it was not the actual truth, but she was going to believe it was her fault. It just had to be. She had sidelined Jamie one too many times from being around his dad. She pushed when he didn't need to be pushed. She pushed, and now Jamie was out of her sight. Her drowning tears caused her to collapse to the ground. Where was Jamie when she needed saving? Oh that is right; she had pushed him away again. Millicent had carefully placed reassuring arms around her. Unfortunately they were not what she needed. She did not blame the girl for trying, but in actuality there was one thing she really wanted right now, and it wasn't Millicent's arms. It was Jamie's.

The second that Jamie sprinted away Brooke was on his tail. For a second before the sprint, she looked to Haley seeing if Haley would do the chasing. But Haley had succumbed to her tears. No matter how physically exhausted Brooke was at the moment, it all went away as Jamie sped done the dangerous streets of New York City. She was frantic and frightened by the situation. No one should be running the streets. It was not safe for anyone. Jamie's jacket was still in her sight, but the boy could run and she had yet to catch up. Every time Jamie crossed into the street, she cringed. She couldn't help it, but she feared that he could get hit. Now that would be the worst ending to this awfully painful story. And they were this close for it coming true. But fate or the God in which Brooke only seldom spoke to was on their side. The horns beeped sporadically, and Jamie was out of her sight. Oh my God, oh my God, where is he? Where is he? "Jamie, Jamie," she painfully called out in desperation that the boy was okay. He had to be. Brooke would never forgive herself. She was the reason they were here. She was the reason that Haley was away, and Jamie was away from Nathan. She was the reason that things had changed. Please, she thought, please don't let her be the reason that Jamie was injured or killed.

She sprinted to the horn beeping cars, where was he? She was sure that she could have auditioned for the exorcism with how fast her head went around looking for him. On her last spin of the head, she saw him. There he was. She ran to him, her own tears now flowing from her eyes, her hands shaking in pure disbelief. How could she have let this happen? Jamie was not okay. She was supposed to be his godmother and she went along living her depressive, self-absorbed life while Jamie was growing up in a broken home. Now in the middle of New York City he was broken. But thank the Lord, not physically.

"James Lucas Scott, don't you ever do that to me again," not really sure what the motherly thing would be in this situation. "I was so scared, I thought…" she couldn't complete or even fathom what could have happened anymore. All that she knew was that he was okay, at least physically. And right now she would be grateful for that. She engulfed him, and did not plan on letting go. Crying into his shoulder, "I have never been so scared." She looked over to a group of people who had surrounded them. They were bystanders to their lives. She imagined they had created their own opinions on the situation, but they didn't know them, not Jamie nor Brooke.

Brooke could feel Jamie shaking in her arms. She knew that this was not his intention to get himself close to killed, "I'm sorry," was all he could say because his fear had caused his own tears. If that man had not grabbed him from the street, well that was not something a five year old should have to imagine. So he wouldn't. He knew he was safe now, Brooke's arms were warm. He had to wonder though how she knew how to be so warm when no one had ever provided her with them before. He didn't really need the answer, just the arms, and he had them. He had Brooke, and boy was he thankful for Brooke and her arms.

The scene soon died down around them, but Brooke and Jamie's tears continued to fall as they stood still, while time continued around them. They didn't care though, because they had the time. None of it would be lost forever, Brooke was sure she would be thanking God rather than demanding of Him from now on. He didn't take away one of the most important persons in the world, her world, so He must not be such a bad guy. So many times she blamed God for her mother's lack of love towards her, but she now knew it wasn't God's doing, it was her mother's. She had to stop blaming others for the pain in which her mother endured on her. She had to start placing the blame where it belonged. Brooke could do that now; she had been given back her potentially happy ending story book. And it was ensured with Jamie's safety.

The stream of tears ceased from her eyes when she realized that they had left Haley crumbled onto the streets of New York. Brooke could not allow Haley to have to agonize about Jamie any longer; there was enough agony in her life. No more today, please. She started walking; there was no way she was going to put Jamie down. There was no way she was going to chance the reunion of mother and son. Brooke heard Jamie's sniffles and knew that his tears too had ended, but she wasn't going to let go. He needed her to hold him, and she was going to give that boy whatever he needed. Even if she didn't think she could. Jamie needed his father, and Haley needed her husband, and she was going to give them both back the person they wanted. She just had to figure out how.

It seemed like an eternity that Jamie had slipped from her sight, waiting was only further weighing her down. Haley realized how heavy of a load she was carrying now, and knew it could not continue much longer. There had been too many of her own facades, just pretending she was fine, and that she could handle all the weight. But she couldn't. The weight of the world was something one person couldn't manage alone, especially not this version of Haley James Scott.

Millicent tried to comfort Haley, but she knew it was not enough. She stood in hopes of catching a glimpse of Brooke and Jamie returning. And she managed to get more than a glimpse. Brooke was walking towards them protectively holding Jamie against her chest. Millicent recognized her eyes. They were filled with sadness; they were eyes she had unfortunately seen before. But the Brooke walking towards her was a brand new persona. Tears had been allowed to escape, but brushed away. Emotion was okay to be exposed, but not before in Brooke's opinion. Hidden sadness, now that was something in which was not okay. Millicent was already proud of the new persona that was Brooke Davis. She had to cross her fingers that this version would endure whatever came her way. All she or anyone else could really do was wait.

Current time was not about the new persona of Brooke Davis, it was about Haley, and it was about Jamie. Millicent helped Haley to her feet so she could see who was returning. Then they stopped abruptly. Millicent had to stabilize her.

Brooke put Jamie on his own feet, and he turned to her knowing she wanted to tell him something important, "Your momma loves you so much. All she wants in this world is for you to be safe. She is not trying to take away your daddy. Your daddy is not safe to be around, so your momma doesn't think you should be around him. You might think that she is the bad guy, but I'm sorry, Buddy, your daddy is the bad guy. Nobody in this world has ever loved someone as much as your momma loves you. Please tell me you believe me?"

"I know. I just miss him, that is all."

"I know you do, Buddy, we all miss your daddy. Your mom misses him too. All she wants is for you to be a family again. The same happy family you were before the accident."

"That is all I want too."

"Are you still mad at your mom?"

"I am mad at my daddy."

This broke her heart to hear. She was angry at her parents from the womb she was sure, but her case was an outlier on the data collection chart – or it was she assumed. She knew that Nathan was once an ass, but not since Haley entered his life. And she knew more than anything that Nathan would never want to harm his son or his wife. He just needed help, help that he was not willing to accept. "Let's go home so you can tell him that."

"But I am not allowed to be around him."

"Maybe you are the cure to his chicken pox, maybe you are what he needs."

"Do you really think so?"

"We might just have to try to find out. Are you willing to try and mend your daddy?"

"I can try."

"It is all we can do, Buddy. But first I need you to do one more thing."

"What is it?" curious to his first task to change his parents' worlds.

"I need you to tell your momma that you love her," turning the boy around so he could see the agony on his mother's face.

Jamie knew now how much he had hurt her by running away. But she didn't know that he didn't really blame her, she was just the only available person. He went running again, but this time he wasn't running away, he was running towards the person he loved, the person that loved him most. Haley.

Haley saw him running towards her, and she braced herself for the contact. She bent down so she could be on his level, "Oh Baby," she cried out as she engulfed him as the tear gates re-opened. She was so grateful and ecstatic for his return.

"I love you, Momma," he knew it was what Haley needed to hear, so he told her again, "I love you so much."

"Oh Jamie, I am so sorry that I took your daddy away from you. I promise things are going to get better. There has been enough of this sadness. I promise you happiness, Baby."

He pulled back because he really wanted her to hear this, "It is not your fault. It is his fault. You are not the bad guy, Daddy is," using Brooke's terminology.

Brooke had returned to the reunion and previous breaking point site. She gave Millicent a comforting back rub silently thanking her. There was no way that the situation would have been suitable if not for the fourth member of the party. Jamie and Haley both needed her, but there was only one of her. So it was another blessing that Millicent was at the site, and for that matter in Brooke's life.

"He is just hurting a lot, Honey."

"A lot of people hurt, not all of them act the way he does. You hurt, Aunt Brooke hurt, and you cry, Daddy doesn't cry, he just drinks."

"I am sorry that your world is so scary, Jamie."

"It is not as scary as it could be. You keep me safe. And even though I get mad at you, I know that you are doing the right thing for me."

"All I want to do is make sure you are safe. That is the most important thing."

"I want to make sure you are safe too."

"I am safe as long as I am with you."

"I don't think that you should see Daddy either if he is drinking."

"I am an adult, Jamie; it is safer for me than it is for you."

"I know that. But I still don't think that you should be around him. Well that is unless I am there too. I will keep you safe, Momma."

"Always trying to be the hero, aren't you?"

"Somebody has got to do the saving when there are people that need to be rescued."

"Have you been talking to your Uncle Lucas?"

"A little, why?"

"It doesn't matter, thank you for wanting to save me, Buddy."

"Are you ready to go home now?"

"I think it is past due," grabbing his hand as they started walking.

Brooke and Millicent silently followed. It was not necessary to speak of the potentially damaging incident that had just occurred. Nothing could be done anymore. It would only cause more sadness. Brooke was no expert but she was sure that Haley's capacity was beyond full. It was time for a release. They would stay at Brooke's apartment for the night; call Lucas to check the status of the situation in Tree Hill. In the morning they would board the plane in which Millicent had gotten them tickets for. And then it was up to the owner of a broken heart. Not much longer though, demons would be destroyed, and Haley's perfect ending would resume. There were no other options – period.

**AN: First off, I could never leave you with a cliffhanger on Jamie, and secondly, this story, the people, they have had enough pain, Jamie will never be harmed. Other than the unfortunate pain he has already experienced. The girls are going through a period of ups and downs. Haley just had another down. And it might just be her last. The confrontation is coming, and it is coming fast. It will be in the next or the following chapter. I think I have to stop avoiding it and start writing it. I am just am not sure about the end result. I have to decide if the ending will truly be happy and that happy includes the reunion of the Scott family, or Haley finally letting go of the person who is tying her down. What do you think?? I would love to hear your opinion. Peace.**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: So here it is, the long awaited confrontation. I got into two bouts of inspiration or something, so I am glad that I am able to finally present this chapter to you. Please enjoy.**

It is hard to imagine that only 24 hours earlier they had left, but as soon as they pulled into Lucas' driveway, they knew they were home. Brooke was pleased to report that she had returned with a whole lot less baggage than she had left with. She looked to her friend helping her son out of the car; her baggage was still heavily weighing her down. Haley eyes were tired and fearful. Fear of what was about to happen.

After Jamie had fallen asleep the night before, the girls stayed up most of the night talking. They were able to catch up on the last four years. It might not have been the best time, but the time between them would continue to extend if it wasn't brought up. So they reminisced about their pasts in which the other wasn't apart of.

In the driveway they shared the present, grateful they were both apart of it. Unfortunately for them, the future was still unsure. And it was all up to Haley now. Both of their futures were left in the hands of her now.

Lucas and Lindsey heard the car doors slamming, and quickly came to their help. The second Jamie saw his uncle he went running. Again another sign that the boy was still young and innocent, his sadness easily pushed aside as his happiness came in the form of one of his favorite people in the world.

"J. Luke," he had to admit that he missed the little boy. Lucas had seen Jamie every day for the last four months. Jamie was the reason that Lucas was able to remain sane in the face of the adversity that had been going on between his brother and his oldest friend.

"Uncle Lucas," he said jumping into Lucas' opening arms and told him of all is encounters – in one breath. "I made my own magazine and I got to ice skate in the park, and I had the best food ever," and then added in a whisper, "don't tell my momma."

"I won't, I promise," he amused his nephew. Lucas then looked to Brooke and Haley. He could instantly see the relief off of Brooke's shoulders; color that wasn't there when she had left was plastered on her thin cheeks. She was changed, he was not sure what had happened in New York, but for Brooke, he could conclude it had been for the best. However for his friend, there was no color at all. He handed Jamie off to Lindsey, and she knew what to do. She gave a quick glance to the girls and brought Jamie away from the talk that was going to quickly follow.

Haley allowed Lucas to embrace her, but she was distant and didn't even put her arms around him. Silent tears fell from her eyes just knowing what was going to happen soon. She was scared. She was more scared now than when she was left alone with the angry and drunk version of Nathan. She was scared, because she didn't know what the end result was going to be this time. And she was scared because she didn't know any other way than to love Nathan.

Lucas held Haley tighter to somehow make up for the lack of reciprocity and eyed Brooke. They had talked late into the night about the situation after Haley had finally fallen asleep. Brooke hadn't told him her story, but it wasn't as important, especially now. It was about Haley, and it always would be. At least for now. She needed the support of anyone in her path, because without it, no one was sure enough to say she would make it alone. Even the once indestructible Haley James Scott couldn't make it alone.

"How about we go talk on the porch?" Lucas softly spoke as he led Haley without really giving her a choice. Brooke followed behind them.

Once they sat down silence filled the space around them – again. Haley didn't want to look up into Brooke and Lucas' eyes. She didn't need to look up to know what they wanted from her. They wanted her to tell them what was next, or how she was feeling. What would answering those questions really do? It couldn't do anything. The only thing that she could do was to talk to Nathan. But she was afraid one step alone and she would crumble to the ground. And this time, well this time she might not be able to get up.

Lucas asked to speak to Brooke alone, away from Haley. He didn't want her to hear what he was going to say. He was so worried about her, and he had to save her, yet this hero didn't know what to do. Lucas was just hoping that Brooke was studying the hero manual.

Haley barely acknowledged them leaving and this scared Brooke. This picture of Haley was an almost exact replica of herself several times before. The only hope she had leaving the sight was knowing that her picture had been broken. Before she listened to what Lucas had pulled her away to say she took one final snapshot of her friend. It would be the last one.

"You didn't tell me that she was this bad," Lucas informed her, glancing at Haley again, it was hard to look away.

"Luke, no words over the phone could have possibly done justice to the state she is in. And you knew it was bad, you have been living with this version of Haley for months," slightly surprised by his naivety.

"No, I have not been living with this version," pointing to her, but quickly withdrawing his arm so Haley would not know the subject was of her. "The Haley I have been living with has never shown one ounce of sadness on her face. It has been in her eyes, always in her eyes," pointing to his own to exemplify. "But never like this, never plastered for the world to see," each word pained him; it pained him that his friend's life and her face had been filled with pain. He did not know why but his words were out of anger, he realized that it was being directed towards Brooke, and she didn't deserve it. He caught his breath and spoke again, "Brooke, she has been faking it for so long. But not now. Now it is like she had given up. And Haley never gives up. What does that say?"

"It says that she needs us, Luke. It says that we have to be there for her. It says that Haley is human, and we have to take her down from the pedestal we have placed her on."

They look over to her concurrently, and she was not there. "Where did she go?" Lucas said sporadically looking around.

Brooke however was calm, "Luke," she called to get his attention. They would have seen Haley if she ran past them. Over the last few days Brooke realized that when Haley went missing, when she had to run, it was to one person. It was to Jamie.

"What? What Brooke?" still looking around for Haley.

"Lucas, stop, stop," placing a hand on his arm.

"Brooke, she is missing," not understanding her tranquil nature.

"Jamie," was all she needed to say, but she continued, "she went to him."

Lucas put a hand to his mouth, in a palpable sense. And then Brooke walked inside to check on Haley. She found Lindsey instead. It was not the scene that she was expecting.

"All I did was go to the bathroom, and when I came back, they were gone," she was obviously distraught. One hand on her hip the other running through her hair pacing as she was completely unsure to how this had happened.

"What do you mean gone, Lindsey?" she asked though Brooke knew what gone meant.

"She came in and sat next to Jamie while he ate his cereal. She didn't say anything just watched him and ran her hand through his hair. I left for two minutes, and when I came back Jamie and Haley had left."

"How could she have left? How could we have let her leave?" Lucas demanded, slamming his fist against the door.

Brooke tried to calm down Lucas; she was the only one who could. Brooke could see that Lindsey's face was covered in guilt, "It's not your fault, Lindsey."

"It was two minutes," she said again in disbelief of what had happened in the short duration.

"Where would she go?" Lucas asked sharing his fiancée's incredulity.

Brooke understood, Brooke knew, there was only one place that Haley would go, "Nathan," she said looking up to Lucas and then to Lindsey.

"Let's go," Lucas said not wanting Haley to spend one minute with Nathan without his security.

"Wait, Lucas, just wait," slowing him down once more.

"I don't understand you. Why must we wait?"

"She has to do this herself."

"Time and time again we have concluded she is not safe in his presence. Yet you want me to wait here. I'm sorry I cannot do that, Brooke. I cannot let her be there alone," he ran out of the kitchen without even giving Brooke a chance to catch up.

"She is not alone, she has her son," she called up in unmerited prevail. Brooke trusted Haley to confront Nathan, but she did not trust Lucas' anger towards his brother for the pain he inflicted on his best friend. She signaled to Lindsey to follow her as she made it outside as Lucas sped away in his car. Brooke realized that Haley had taken the rental car – when they arrived back Lucas and Lindsey's appearance contributed to Brooke neglecting to remember the keys.

"My car," Lindsey tapped her arm indicating their ride to save Haley. She handed Brooke the keys because she knew that she was not stable enough to drive.

As she quickly started the car she took note of Lindsey, "She is okay," it was short but it was the truth. Well at least it had to be.

"I don't know if I can trust that anymore, Brooke."

"Why are you giving up?"

"I am not giving up. I just have never seen pain like this before," she paused to recall her commentary on the scene in the kitchen. "When she came in she didn't even acknowledge me. She didn't speak, not even to Jamie. It was like if she spoke then she would break. I have to tell you I was afraid I was going to be cleaning up her pieces. She is so frail. The look on her face read withdrawal, like she had given up. I saw it and I still left. I left and then she was gone."

"Don't take it personally. And the reason she left was because she hadn't given up. Not yet at least. If she had given up completely, Haley would still be in the kitchen. She's not in the kitchen, Lindsey."

The ride was always short, but there was so much between the houses. The minutes had been short but so much could have been done. In only seconds Haley's whole life was changed by Nathan's accident. Minutes could be devastating.

Brooke parked the car, looked to Lindsey asking if she was ready. Without giving her a chance to respond, she ran towards the door that Lucas had left open. Brooke didn't even take enough time to breathe as she stepped into the house. She knew where she needed to be but at the same time minutes had passed. What could have minutes done this time?

Her eyes first went to Haley covering Jamie in the corner. Then it was Lucas and Nathan she was drawn to. Nathan sat defenseless as his brother tried to punch him. "Lucas," Brooke screamed grabbing his arm only to get an elbow to the head. She fell to the ground. This ended Lucas' rage as he realized what he had just done.

"Brooke, I am so sorry," he bent down to her as Nathan fell back into the couch in relief that Brooke had come to his rescue.

Brooke put a hand to her head, she was okay, the sudden shock of the elbow caused her fall. "Help me up," ignoring his apologize as she gave him her arm.

He tried to rationalize, "You know what he did to her, just look at her. I had to, I had to save her," but she didn't want to hear it.

"You look at her, Lucas, look what you did," indicating Haley's newly petrified state. She had just conjured enough courage to speak to Nathan, and Lucas came running through the door ceasing any forward progress.

Lucas turned to see her, really see her. Brooke was right though, he had done this. He had done it now. Haley was shaking, scared at the person who ran through her home attempting to attack her husband. He was that person. What did he do? What did he do to his best friend? He got closer to Haley and Jamie, and fell to his knees. He carefully put a reaching hand out to gently place it on her shoulder, but she flinched. "Haley, it's me," as if she didn't know the recipient of the hand from the cracking voice.

Her eyes peaked out from underneath her shielding shoulder to see a pleading Lucas.

"Haley, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," his lips trembled. "I just couldn't see you like this anymore. I was so angry at what he did to you. I thought I could help you. But I couldn't, I couldn't save you," and then Lucas Scott broke his stoicism, tears escaped his eyes.

Haley had only seen Lucas cry after Keith had died. Lucas had loved Keith as the father he was to him. Now Haley was the recipient of his tears. Last time it was death, and now it was her. Now it was her, how close to death was she? This time though it wasn't physical death, just the death of her former life, or her formerly stable emotions. She slowly emerged from her protective cover of Jamie. She saw the raw emotion on her best friend's face, and she knew that Lucas had not intended to scare them. She saw that now.

Jamie escaped from Haley's grip as Haley fell into Lucas' arms. Brooke was ready to prance at any moment, watching to see Jamie's next move. She didn't have to follow him far; he landed in Nathan's lap. Brooke was sure that Jamie's embrace startled the hell out of Nathan. But maybe that is what he needed, to be startled by the one person who might still be able to change things. Nathan didn't know what to do, but as Jamie held on tighter, he slowly put his arms around his son. Something he hadn't done in way too long.

Lindsey was taken aback by the entire scene. She had never seen Lucas' tears; he was always strong, unstoppable. But not right now, he was rung with an emotional flood. And Haley well no words could justify her current state of mind. Brooke held back, but Lindsey knew that she would be where she was needed as soon as she knew where that was. She hadn't seen Nathan in months; Haley never let her in the house. He was a wreck, he looked awful, and she knew his emotions were not in check either. And Jamie, poor Jamie, stuck in the middle of it all.

Brooke broke the scene. The way it was currently would not solve anything. Haley needed to speak with Nathan, that was the only way that anything would be resolved. No amount of embrace would repair what had been done. Only words and the words had to be between Haley and Nathan. "Jamie," she called, "c'mon, Jamie, how about you go show your Aunt Lindsey your toys."

He pulled back from his dad to see the voice that was calling his name. "I want to stay."

"Buddy, your daddy and your mommy need to talk."

"I want to stay," he repeated.

"Jamie, you can't stay," she thought that the urgency in her voice would influence him.

But it didn't, "I have to stay."

Haley pulled back from Lucas when she heard her son's heroic pleas. "Jamie, Honey."

Jamie didn't even let Haley say what she wanted to say. He vowed to protect his mother, and even though he was in the enemy's lap. He would not falter; heroes are heroes regardless of age. "I am not leaving. I told you I wasn't going to leave you. And I am not."

Haley used Lucas' shoulders to help herself up and walked over to the couch. She sat down next to her son and her husband. "I love you so much." It wasn't clear who exactly she was talking to.

Lucas and Brooke took this as a cue to head towards the door. It was time for the Scott family confrontation. Before they could, Jamie stopped them; well he stopped one of them. "Brooke," the little boy got off the couch and went over to grab her hand, "you are part of this family now."

"Jamie, I can't," trying to prevent him from dragging her over there.

"Yesterday you told your mom that we were your family now. Your family needs you. I need you."

How could anyone resist the little boy? For afar Haley was grateful that Jamie made the plea that she could not. She was trying to gander all the strength she could to say the right words to keep them together. But she wasn't so sure she had them. Haley knew that Brooke would provide them if need be.

Lucas and Lindsey did not seem to be offended, and they slipped out the door. They knew that they didn't belong there at that moment. They knew they were not unwanted or any less of the family. But something happened in New York. Something they were not a part of. Right now was the continuation.

Brooke allowed Jamie to gently pull her over to the opposing couch so they were parallel to Nathan and Haley. Now the only factor remained was for the first person to speak.

Of course it was Jamie. "Well aren't you going to tell her you love her too," certain that the previous words of affection were towards his father. Jamie knew how much his mother loved him, at that moment the words were not necessary for him. They were for Nathan.

Then he spoke, Nathan spoke for the first time, and what they didn't know was that he was completely sober. The last sip of alcohol he had had was with Brooke. They didn't know it now, but he wasn't ready to lose his family. He just wasn't ready to admit it. "I don't think it was addressed towards me, Jamie."

"It was," Jamie informed him.

"Was it?" Nathan turned to Haley, speaking to her for the first time with a tone other than anger. He wanted to know her response, because he could not even fathom somebody loving a person after the hell he had placed her in.

She nodded her head, and bit her lip because she knew more tears were going to fall. She loved him today, and yesterday, the day before, she always loved him. It might have been difficult but there was not one day in the last four months that she woke up and the love was absence. A lot of things were absence, but it wasn't her love for him. She vowed forever.

"I told you so," the precocious boy told his father. The next statement could not have possibly been from a boy of his age, but it graced his lips, "I don't know why though."

It shocked the adults what the boy had said. Brooke questioned Haley's love along with Nathan, but Jamie was the only one courageous enough to say it.

The moment of truth, "Neither do I, Son," admitting it to the room.

Haley was ready now, she was ready to speak, and she was ready to tell Nathan about the last four months. The last four months that she had been living without him. "I will always love you, Nathan. If today is the last day, I will still love you tomorrow," as much as she wanted the final result to be fairy tale worthy, she still was unsure. There were still matters of the heart to address, and one very important person to protect – Jamie. "If our forever lasted 7 years, it will not cease the love that I have so deep in my heart for you. You were and always will be my first love, and that is not something that can ever be erased. No matter how many years past us by, my love for you will remain intact."

"Why are you acting as if it is already over, Momma?" he didn't understand. He knew the possibility of two separate households might be on the rise. But he felt as if the first thing his mother said to his father was goodbye.

"It isn't over, Jamie. I just wanted your dad to know how much I love him."

"Almost as much as you love me?"

"I could never love anyone more than you."

"Even Daddy?"

"Even your father."

"It is okay if you do," he informed her, hoping that maybe his willingness to come second would transition into a solidified reunion.

She took this opportunity to address Nathan, "Our son is willing to give up some of my love so I can give you a little more. I can't do that."

"I am not expecting you to, Haley."

"But you expected us to walk away from you when you needed your family by your side? You expected us to endure until you were ready to be a grown man again. And you expected us to go on living life as if nothing had changed, well other than your dreams of course."

He knew that her words would be painfully accurate; he just didn't know that she would actually tell it to his face. The version of his wife that he had experienced previously was not the one before him. He needed this version of Haley; they needed this version if they had any chance at reconciliation. "My whole life's dream was gone in three seconds, Haley. I was angry."

"I know you were angry, Nathan. I was able to experience this anger for months," letting him know that she knew what she was feeling, and she endured each emotion he gave off.

"I worked my whole life to be in the NBA. I thought that the scandal in high school would eradicate any chance I had."

"It used to be enough though. You asked me during the championship game if that was it, would that be enough? I didn't need it to be enough, you were all I needed."

"But things changed, and I was this close," indicating inches on his fingers.

"I know how close you were, because I was with you. I was always with you. I was standing next to you as you were accomplishing your dreams. And you know what, Nathan, it was enough."

"I never asked you to quit following your dreams."

"No, you didn't. My dream though, he is sitting across from you. I never felt obligated to remain by your side. I was proud, so extremely proud of all the decisions you made. You took a potentially career ending situation, and you never gave up. Jamie had an excellent role model in you…at one point. Now, now I don't trust you with him."

"I would never hurt him," he looked to Haley, then to Jamie, "I would never hurt you."

"You already did," Brooke spoke though she was unsure if she should have spoken.

"He is my son," not wanting to admit the pain he had caused Jamie.

"And you are Dan's son," Brooke spoke again knowing she held merit in her words.

"No, no, I will never be Dan."

"You already are, Nathan," knowing this might push him over the edge. Brooke needed him to react; she needed to see some sort of reaction. So far he had been subdued, if boiling his temper caused him to crack, then he would prove Haley's point.

"Dan killed his own brother, I am not a murderer."

"No, you are right. You didn't kill anyone, physically at least."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he demanded, his anger reaching a limit.

"It means that you did not physically kill someone. But Dan took away somebody's life, and you did the same thing. Hence why you are exactly like him."

"I am not Dan," he told them again, afraid of what else he might say with Brooke's next remark.

"No, you are worse. You took two lives."

This remark did not bode well. And when Nathan was angered by somebody's remarks, he retaliated where he knew it would hurt them the most. Haley knew this phenomena way too well. "Why are you even here, Brooke? Why must you meddle in our lives? Oh, wait a second, I know now, because you don't have somebody to go home to. You go home alone, and you are jealous of what we have, so you want to take it away from me. Leave us be, go back to New York. Nobody wants you here, nobody wants you anywhere."

Oh, Nathan Scott was the asshole of the year; he certainly did take after his father. But what Nathan didn't know was that the Brooke he was addressing was not the same girl that had shared a drink with him only days earlier. That girl was gone. And that was really going to suck for Nathan Scott.

Potentially lucky for him, his son spoke first, "I want her here, and so does Momma. She is here because we needed her. Unlike you, she actually listens to what we need. And, she is home, so don't tell her to leave."

Brooke was glad to have Jamie as her protector, if only all men had the same prototype. She realized that his words were more profound to Nathan than hers would be. But she had to tell him exactly what she was feeling. It was for Haley's sake. "Thank you, Jamie. You have got one great son there, Nate. Too bad his father is an idiot."

"I am just supposed to take all of the ridicule you are imposing on me?"

"It is an awful feeling, isn't it?"

"It sucks."

"Well by my calculations it has been about four minutes. How about you try imagining it for four months? Then you can complain about how much it sucks. Or, well you could ask an expert. Haley?"

She was not ready for this preface. This was not the exact approach she was getting at. But she would take it. Brooke had gotten him angry. The normalcy had returned for Haley. Except for one thing. Brooke had allowed her to borrow some of her strength. "You are right, it does suck. You wake up each morning just praying to all gods that it will be the day. The day that everything changes. Maybe today I can make it through the day without wanting to cry my eyes out. Nope, it isn't that day. I hate to break it to you, but tomorrow won't be either. And the next, well how about you try back next week. Month? Year? How long is this going to last? How long is the person who vowed to love me going to use words to demonstrate his affection and not his anger? Oh I waited for that day. But I got used to not getting what I wanted."

"You didn't have to stay," was it an attempt at justification?

"No, I didn't have to stay. But I was too afraid to leave."

"It was easy just pick up your feet and walk away."

"Oh, so easy? Why couldn't you have done it, Nathan? What? Oh yeah it isn't really that easy. Because if it was you would not be confined to a wheelchair and our family would be happy. We would not have been permanently scarred," she was glad that she was able to catch him in his words. But it was the complete truth. Nothing is ever easy, especially walking away when you know you should. That is the hardest possible thing. And neither Scott could do it.

"How dare you compare the two."

"How dare you believe for one second that mine was any easier. All you had to do was leave a bar. I had to leave a marriage. One is a little more binding, don't you think?"

"I know I should I have walked away, but I didn't. I didn't, and I lost everything."

"You lost basketball, you lost basketball, Nathan."

"It was everything."

"What about me, Nate? What about Jamie?"

"You apparently have a newly formed family with Brooke."

"She is always going to be apart of my family, regardless if you are."

"It looks like you made up your mind, already."

"Is that what you want? Do you want me to say it is over? And then we are done with it? Like hell I am going until I know I have fought every single battle."

"I am always going to be the enemy."

"Who else do you want me to blame, Nathan?"

"Blame the guy who did this. Go on and find him and blame him."

"I am looking at that guy."

"I didn't push myself through the glass."

"You could have fooled me."

"Brooke has influenced you too much, you are speaking her lunacy."

"Brooke has given me strength."

"Apparently not enough if you are still here, you should go ask for some courage too."

"This is all a mockery to you, isn't it? This is life, Nathan. This is our life. And you have no qualms inflicting more insult to it. Do you even realize how damaged I am?" she was finally admitting the damage causing infliction she had experienced. "I don't sleep. I don't eat. I try to give you everything you want, none of which you want. I cringe at your every word, just waiting for you to take the abuse to another level. I send away our son so he doesn't have to endure your wrath. So I take it on. But I cannot do it anymore. I am far too damaged, but you are blind to it. And up until a few days ago, so was I. I am not blind anymore. So you better open up your eyes, Nathan. If not you will be hearing the door closing." Damn was she good, her words silenced any rebut Nathan could have spoken. Haley slowly felt some weight sliding off her shoulders. For too long she had kept in all of the pain, but not now. Somebody else would endure it now, and as much as she loved him it was going to be Nathan this time. It was about time.

**AN: Well what do you think? It is not over, I promise you it is not resolved yet. Please don't hate me for leaving it up in the air. Be rest assured that I am going to fight like hell to keep this family together for Jamie's sake, that is exactly what Haley is doing. So there will be more, and we will see where it leads. Aren't you proud of Haley for finally, finally telling Nathan how she feels? It is a four month build up. I can only imagine how great it feels. I will try to update as soon as the proper thoughts prosper. Peace.**


End file.
